hemko's Posts

Hello friends, does anybody remember me?

SamNSara, ChrisRota, Shea, idiomatic, perellano, FrankFilocamo, emiledi77, Authlander, tweetybird, bold and 8 others like this

reposted by FrankFilocamo

------------------------
Might someone be interested in taking over and maintaining my account?

If so, message me for info.
------------------------

SamNSara, FrankFilocamo, emiledi77, MaScho, ehab_faris, flesh and lollip like this

It'a been a while since I flashed a smile

janem803, FrankFilocamo, emiledi77, kyow, lollip, misterlab, kir4s_w0rld, kolarg, zefrances, _velaaaa_ and 6 others like this

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt. I can't really decide which one the hero is.

#belt

janem803, ChrisRota, ZeepBella, FrankFilocamo, emiledi77, MaScho, MacyMoneypenny, kj55, aoibh, elf321 and 16 others like this

Thanks for tagging me in a Facebook photo that I immediately untagged because I didn't look amazing.

#facebook, #tag

emiledi77, Tanascha, karolinastr, kj55, fraaaan, robertarr, jah, Akatrine, ly_liu, fuechsin and 14 others like this

I'm not sexy enough
for my shirt :(

#boldshirt

janem803, ZeepBella, emiledi77, imiss, hensch, caberera12, closethenfar12, Nina-Aliyah, lolindir, Tastemakr and 14 others like this

reposted by caracoles and caberera12

ONE
THOUSAND
FOLLOWERS

#4

hensch, mjf, BoldRecipes, bryantzambrano, GaylrdSprFckr, leonovel, pjotorstar, Samwell, JoiJetson, allisonrae and 12 others like this

The forest
is running.

hannastromme, iBatmanGirl, t_treeman, Junomea, thormanjr, annabanan, jakob13f, Lieanne3, Stokn and Lirpae.. like this

The
countdown has begun.

#1Thousand

majajohansson, guggigirl, thormanjr, tweetybird and Lirpae.. like this

Add a touch of magic to your cold by putting glitter in your mouth before you sneeze.

#cold, #sneeze, #magic

blackboxmagic, GreenMucki, only1alyssa, sophh, scottluper, ofreptiles, chocolat, kj55, Nutmeg, fraaaan and 30 others like this

reposted by kakafon, beccy, annsan12, Nutmeg and scottluper

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

Reposted from cococaro

janem803, navi, caberera12, bindyboo, L.Lol, babydo-ll, thisismyname, anidi90, debora, chocolat and 21 others like this

I don't mind being nude, if you don't mind being speechlessly impressed.

mestephie, mjf, bold, caberera12, anidi90, chocolat, closethenfar12, jah, Justine6289, reyramos and 21 others like this

reposted by betweenwindows and caberera12

Waking up.
Humans.
Working.
The things I hate.

#hate

Misha.93, ACHunter, misswilkmar, lizziedye, Mabaya, ArtemisVex, MissP., knh711, thormanjr, evasophia and 6 others like this

reposted by hannastromme and BobbyM

Hey, let's judge other people because our own lives turned out shit!

#judgement, #life

ACHunter, chichilove, chocolat, fraaaan, pland, iov.mada, bold, LuisAmendola, camimoune, wallifer and 11 others like this

reposted by mollielark, ketling and Leanne

Crave for them.

Crave for the internet points.

#internet, #points

ACHunter, redvelvet14, _Nathalie_, vonkrime, thormanjr, PenSword72, lollip, tweetybird, kj55, Lieanne3 and 1 other like this

School is slowly killing me. Wasn't it supposed to educate me?

TRUEDAT, sophh, ACHunter, mmery, avant-garde, maria.curses, closethenfar12, BoldRecipes, fifteeninclude, PenSword72 and 13 others like this

reposted by Vinyl

I sure miss the time when we had to guess what girls on instagram had for breakfast.

#girls, #instagram, #breakfast

hannastromme, kj55, ZoJ, courtfizzle, mimi13, vonkrime, musissy, wallifer, stussen, begrian and 4 others like this

reposted by RobbertPoel

When everybody quitely agrees with me, I sometimes get the feeling that I'm wrong.

janem803, chocolat, f4timah, closethenfar12, SaraRuid, kj55, kreutner, sss63, interdit, raneem and 12 others like this

reposted by kreutner and ambria04

Life seems like the slowest form of suicide.

#life, #suicide

InTheDark, UserOne, stefunny, dor1316, juneocallagh, aghsina, Amaroo, Babs_77, Leander-NZ, RedScorpio and 41 others like this

reposted by kreutner, brookee1102, mmery and el-loco

Dad, you've always been like a father to me.

#dad, #father

LineTrack, streetmedic, petegutz2, karlokoenig, BiteSenior, LGAC, Ziya, Lieutenant, newbe, vladtheimpala and 62 others like this

reposted by kakafon, vanessarothlin, Boldomatic, thormanjr, lolindir, lolindir, Awk, shasha123, maudit, NexusEleven and 14 others

I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, but it turned out I was mistaken.

#wrong

perellano, streetmedic, sallyhylby, a.rita, barbaresco, Babs_77, Samwell, aoibh, chocolat, Nutmeg and 29 others like this

reposted by KELLEY, farojoia, AbiRose2002, Mabaya and Nutmeg

My only secret is that I regret not having any valuable secrets.

#secret

closethenfar12, jah, pau_lee, kj55, tweetybird, siwebi00, aehmpaeh, cookiemonster7, romankouder, lollip and 1 other like this

Friends logic, let's go to a crowded bar or party to sociolize exclusively with ourselves.

#friend, #party, #bar, #social

purplemonkey, mmery, calolien, amandaj, kj55, zeit_lupe, Debxenia, KFLondon, vonkrime, crystalD and 11 others like this

Tickling: Like rape, but you are forced to laught.

#tickling, #force, #laugh, #rape

a.rita, chocolat, closethenfar12, jah, iov.mada, du-e-semst, ashleyanngregg, kj55, alexandra6, reuven91 and 12 others like this

Children can be so cute, I could just eat them up!

Literally.

I hate them.

Tannefors, Sweden

#children, #eat, #hate

Misha.93, sophh, mjf, ofreptiles, chocolat, reyramos, bellaandreae, kj55, Ace, meke75 and 14 others like this

reposted by mmery

Children! Gather around, gather around, for today is a good day. Uncle Tea has made awaited return!

mjf, kj55, naebitnae, siwsuv, tweetybird, PenSword72, spoon, Samwell, nano560 and permanentwaves like this

@Tea

dAn, mattwac, BoldRecipes, zizka60, kj55, ZoJ, tweetybird, michie_griffin, siwsuv, barbaresco and 15 others like this

If the brain was so simple that we could understand it, it would be so simple that we couldn't.

#brain, #simple, #understand

streetmedic, perellano, ene, SimonLauper, a.rita, chocolat, pland, jcqlynbarnett, rgray007, idunnowhoiam and 24 others like this

reposted by makalapua, kakafon, idunnowhoiam, rgray007 and Babs_77

Anything is possible if you have no clue what the hell you're talking about...

#LargeMathTest, #possible, #stupid, #math

perellano, Lady.E, Sophia3003, queen_misfit, newbangazz, Rolana82, closethenfar12, GaylrdSprFckr, soren85, rgray007 and 28 others like this

reposted by annibunny22, vonkrime, KELLEY, rgray007, fcuesta and maniac

Tannefors, Sweden

#200th, #post

hannastromme, aehmpaeh, thormanjr, _Nathalie_, musissy, PenSword72 and kj55 like this

For as long as I can remember, I've always suffered from memory loss.

janem803, cherry0894, closethenfar12, ashleyanngregg, justsayinn_, zizka60, normalgenes111, thormanjr, kj55, Akatrine and 17 others like this

reposted by casire

Just buy trophies and you'll be good at everything.

jasminealv, chocolat, closethenfar12, ashleyanngregg, ly_liu, arieltheoryX, misterlab, thormanjr, aehmpaeh, ernstrose and 10 others like this

reposted by betweenwindows

When someone hands you a flyger, they should just say "Hey, you throw this away".

#flyger, #throw

janem803, thormanjr, mArk12, Roel, LoveFunApps, Lirpae.., annabanan and PenSword72 like this

Your body has a wingardium leviosa effect on my penis.

#forsatan, #body, #penis

janem803, Gabbem, chocolat, madalinejo, calolien, vonkrime, robertarr, normalgenes111, ly_liu, eraccagni and 12 others like this

reposted by vonkrime and madalinejo

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

justsayinn_, zizka60, robertarr, satan, stefan_noth, echophoe, mazzzz1, PenSword72, _Nathalie_, Lirpae.. and 7 others like this

Sex Etiquette: Laughing is encouraged. Pointing and laughing is discouraged.

Tannefors, Sweden

#sex, #etiquette, #laugh, #point

EitherChaff084, janem803, VendelaDuVet, druidix, ellenicole, hirondelle, carey99, paam98, chocolat, lollip and 10 others like this

reposted by Denican

No matter how serious life gets, you'll allways need the company of people you can be stupid with.

janem803, hirondelle, superfoxyana, aryapratama, jasminealv, mmery, cherry0894, chocolat, closethenfar12, jah and 23 others like this

reposted by AbiRose2002 and superfoxyana

I envy girls, that have it so easy. They just buy a new bag and get over it.

chocolat, closethenfar12, tinsanchez, nadi, Ace, dixiedrama, Tasha_1234, Czar, kj55, Linneaelvira and 10 others like this

reposted by bobcattaco13

4 8 15 16 23 42

Tannefors, Sweden

#cursed, #numbers

romankouder, satan, dixiedrama, jamoonii, carmen_marley, kj55, Lirpae.. and mandrela86 like this

reposted by romankouder and kreutner

Bless
the
booty.

Amen.

janem803, wickedpyxxie, mazzzz1, dixiedrama, iaminfinite, ly_liu, PenSword72, lue, ZoJ, kidbaba and 4 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie

Hey, want to double your iPhone battery life? Put the fucking thing down.

streetmedic, blackboxmagic, janem803, kag, l_rickerby, anna.b, fionaharper, closethenfar12, ashleyanngregg, Debxenia and 32 others like this

reposted by johnc, l_rickerby and M.thomsen

LET'S
GO
TOO
FAR

Tannefors, Sweden

#bold, #too, #far

janem803, LGAC, J.Bravo, johanna22, bellaandreae, socialmarion, calolien, nadjul, amandaj, kj55 and 25 others like this

reposted by Denican, RulesOfLife, chocolat, JennieStridh and kakansson

Thanks for not inviting me into any confusing and pointless Facebook applications.

ly_liu, JoiJetson, nwallinn, KFLondon, stefan_noth, _Nathalie_, permanentwaves, jano, sera_la_dera, Lirpae.. and 2 others like this

I love the sound of children not being around.

jasminealv, chocolat, calolien, fcvg, Ace, robertarr, dixiedrama, arkitekten, alegarvaz, nwallinn and 15 others like this

reposted by GRLK, hannastromme and RobbertPoel

Dad, can I please get some money to do some deplorable things with my shady friends?

Tannefors, Sweden

#dad, #money, #barbie, #friends

fruitgarden, SaraRuid, permanentwaves, satan, mazzzz1, misterlab, ernstrose, Lirpae.., izzi, aehmpaeh and 5 others like this

Whenever I think of an awesome bold, I list it on my phones notes app for later use.

Linköping, Sweden

#amItheonlyone?, #barbie

ProperDesastre, kj55, fruitgarden, nano560, carmen_marley, _Nathalie_, PenSword72, ernstrose, Lirpae.., 1276227 and 8 others like this

To infinity then stop.

Tannefors, Sweden

#testing, #these, #new, #features

chocolat, closethenfar12, robertarr, permanentwaves, normalgenes111, misterlab, diggy, rikkeb_, Lieanne3, LoveFunApps and 8 others like this

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.

janem803, vali, robertarr, asian, permanentwaves, normalgenes111, jenhju, AztecPrincess, _Nathalie_, 1276227 and 4 others like this

reposted by betweenwindows and xiaokeai

I'd like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

janem803, albertgualbert, ChrisRota, UserOne, Krimi63, meohmy, roosterbear, ManiacalAcorn, sophh, FrogLegs and 58 others like this

reposted by EmilyTudor, wickedpyxxie, jayblue, Boldomatic, hypercasey, luisjr, mmilks, SaraRuid, cedbuzz, cedbuzz and 13 others

Chase your dreams, or be chased by a serial killer within them.

ashleyanngregg, tandasilva, ly_liu, _Nathalie_, Lirpae.., thehorselover, stefan_noth, guggigirl, Akatrine, dixiedrama and 5 others like this

I'm really fun when it's not appropriate to be.

janem803, jenhju, PenSword72, j_ramirez_3, wickedpyxxie, livi, Filippaa_, annibunny22, idunnowhoiam, jaykay and 10 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie

I wish googling myself gave better results.

chocolat, closethenfar12, sss63, ashleyanngregg, _Nathalie_, tandasilva, sierradugan07, PenSword72, aehmpaeh, Minako and 15 others like this

reposted by ketling and kakafon

Alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. But let's just do this, so I can go back to killing you with alcohol.

chocolat, closethenfar12, robertarr, Flockae, puzzlii, LovingGuysThat, vonkrime, kj55, anonyman, zefrances and 7 others like this

I love my sixpack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

AdamC, xxyz, sw.lee., chocolat, closethenfar12, cherry0894, Flash6387, du-e-semst, minnie, mariechen_xo and 28 others like this

reposted by ValeriaTouma, rexxybanks, RobbertPoel, M.thomsen and AdamC

I trust any research claiming that semen is good for a woman's skin.

closethenfar12, dgk22, joeyfbaby3, Mr_Kirkwood, cop99, Denican, Chilidog, davegibson, begrian, Dar.G and 4 others like this

reposted by Denican

I just realized I have a passion for not cooking.

janem803, chocolat, closethenfar12, cherry0894, tinsanchez, cinderxlla, hanna, robertarr, jasmineXd94, calolien and 12 others like this

reposted by cinderxlla and cinderxlla

Yoga pants for females.

The single greatest invention since the dawn of time.

closethenfar12, tinsanchez, dgk22, ly_liu, fruitgarden, EmilyTudor, KevinJonHall, eylinacsah, naebitnae, t_treeman and 7 others like this

I'm starting to think I may not have wiped enough...

janem803, tinsanchez, smackthisasset, kj55, _Nathalie_, Lirpae.. and tweetybird like this

Making jokes about Hipsters is so mainstream...

streetmedic, perellano, mjf, elephantasia, tinsanchez, Faitytale, flor1509, jenhju, Akatrine, elsiegr and 19 others like this

reposted by ConitoCruz

I hate mornings. And Mondays. And working. Other than that, I'm entirely happy.

Akatrine, wendydel12, tinsanchez, dgk22, joeyfbaby3, em87, wickedpyxxie, _Nathalie_, misterlab, zefrances and 9 others like this

reposted by LenaRalene and wickedpyxxie

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

sonybox, EitherChaff084, blackboxmagic, UserOne, urswestermann, kontrapoet, sallyhylby, richjaybitch, LovellaMay, chocolat and 23 others like this

reposted by Denican, wickedpyxxie, jayblue, Flash6387, slaminant and beckstarqt23

I live in fear of accidentally hearing a Justin Bieber song and liking it.

UserOne, curvema, stefunny, niniel, ronirocket, sarcaSM, sallyhylby, Babs_77, closethenfar12, jah and 43 others like this

reposted by Mr_Kirkwood, gonzogarciauy, kevcee, cedbuzz, drebbit, darkunicorn24, patuljak and ronirocket

If prepared just right, I'd make love to a burrito.

joeyfbaby3, _Nathalie_, satan, martina6574, grandmaster, kati_elizabeth, normalgenes111, sluken, anonymomatic, Czar and 5 others like this

reposted by kj55

Sometimes things start to get very serious between me and my hand-held showerhead.

martina6574, leonovel, normalgenes111, Lirpae.., wickedpyxxie, Belieber1994, vonkrime, kj55, naebitnae, Denican and 5 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie

Sorry ladies, but unfortunately there isn't a "clear history" button for your vagina.

UserOne, sallyhylby, lima, chocolat, dhvidding, jelectra, AnderssonRikar, jaykay, wookie, mischievousmeg and 32 others like this

reposted by vonkrime, wickedpyxxie, peeryoung, sly4u, jayblue, pretty_montana, drebbit, RobbertPoel and janeh

My poor life decisions look like fantastic drinking opportunities.

mjf, tweetybird, normalgenes111, Malcom_Areas, leodvincci89, zefrances, aehmpaeh, Mr_Kirkwood, ly_liu, romikid and 9 others like this

reposted by brody

It would be a tragic waste of talent if you didn't enter every conceivable wet t-shirt contest.

normalgenes111, imalewzer, naebitnae, joybells, Lirpae.., pascalbernheim, Ninaaa, misterlab, Akatrine, elinnolofsson and 4 others like this

I'm having a hard time getting over the relationship that we were never in.

streetmedic, prubton, ChrisRota, Vandtastic, janem803, UserOne, u.n.v.e.u., curvema, LaterAlligator, navi and 68 others like this

reposted by bihter, Denican, wickedpyxxie, Akosua, pixtor, mollielark, wallifer, roadtomyfuture, jayblue, iamchechers and 9 others

Let's hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.

streetmedic, miamaia, jayblue, normalgenes111, laurakingston6, hemko, tweetybird, MissP., aL2, alexandra6 and 15 others like this

reposted by normalgenes111, LenaRalene and jayblue

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

streetmedic, janem803, Dalie, meerstern, M.thomsen, tinsanchez, emely, arkitekten, normalgenes111, marcmueller and 28 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie, Denican, Akosua, normalgenes111 and M.thomsen

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

streetmedic, AnnaKai, daraghroche, tinsanchez, joeyfbaby3, normalgenes111, marcmueller, joybells, alinaaa27, Jaida and 28 others like this

reposted by Denican, Akosua, joeyfbaby3, daraghroche and M.thomsen

The moment you rewatch childhood movies and actually understand what's going on now.

MovieQuotes, interdit, M.thomsen, Babs_77, tinsanchez, laudiedaudie, normalgenes111, sluken, Akosua, Jaida and 32 others like this

reposted by LenaRalene and laudiedaudie

schoggithaler, normalgenes111, joybells, svenZ, ROOM54, cherryblossom, mwmax, zefrances, goldentree, marcmueller and 17 others like this

Hey, let's make believing in Unicorns a religion and then make money off of people who threat and oppose us publicly!

perellano, tweetybird, normalgenes111, laurakingston6, avant-garde, HeresyIsWeird, mayugo7, francarreira, Brettafordd, elinnolofsson and 16 others like this

reposted by ATEBYTE

And the brain said to the beaten up heart "you never learn, do you?"

janem803, ChrisRota, AshesofBlood, Nomi28, curvema, kontrapoet, sallyhylby, cmejiap10, popcorningbell, Gabbem and 63 others like this

reposted by guggigirl, elsiegr, cbah, tiffanishanai, wickedpyxxie, normalgenes111, a_nne, ZiLLy, iamchechers and cbah

??

We judge ourselves by our intentions and judge others by their actions.

??

streetmedic, janem803, stefunny, Etcetera, sallyhylby, anna.b, PrincessBonnie, HaleyBrianne10, Nikki0801, becksyboo and 37 others like this

reposted by naebitnae, hartco, sakishana03, Akosua, Nikki0801, PrincessBonnie and PrincessBonnie

aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª

mjf, crystinh, String, mayugo7, ilena, Justine6289, AdamForsmark, kj55, naebitnae, joybells and 13 others like this

reposted by naebitnae and kissmyash

I wish I had more middle fingers to give out.

sallyhylby, chocolat, pasquale85, redvelvet14, musissy, chacon, jaykay, veky, normalgenes111, angela90 and 41 others like this

reposted by jpb042595, wickedpyxxie and jayblue

It's saturday. If it requires pants, it's not happening today...

Ace, normalgenes111, wickedpyxxie, ilena, naebitnae, marcmueller, Justine6289, _7ayoota_, michaelanordin, AztecPrincess and 16 others like this

reposted by ATEBYTE, wickedpyxxie and trikko90

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

streetmedic, Authlander, sallyhylby, M.thomsen, stevamatic, dalmina, tinsanchez, albertinisg, kkim, becksyboo and 47 others like this

reposted by naebitnae, emileemcarthur, LoWife86, hartco, Denican, lalagray, Akosua, Tebow_1564, Sukiakina, joeyfbaby3 and 1 other

I wish more things could be blamed on autocorrect.

ChrisRota, phuamaxx, soene, ZeepBella, Floki, spiritdancers, UserOne, Sunshine123, roosterbear, sxndra and 53 others like this

reposted by leodvincci89, Denican, Boldomatic, amreetxo, jozzi96, svenZ, mango, ieeevva, beeellas, Jannis and 8 others

Don't worry, your secret is safe with me... and my best friends. Probably all their friends too.

streetmedic, janem803, sss63, ninjaniko, M.thomsen, Gabbem, calolien, sebatl, RamiME, naebitnae and 25 others like this

reposted by emmabrinksater and Akosua

Nothing brings two people together as the hatred of a third person.

janem803, dangela421, eylinacsah, aehmpaeh, izabellabarros, ella_von_d, IreneZavala1, len_10, giadaalice, martina6574 and 17 others like this

reposted by bihter, esunkel and abbas

You had me at your proper use of "you're".

streetmedic, blackboxmagic, janem803, navi, sallyhylby, PenSword72, chocolat, SpecialAppsSK, tinsanchez, zaktime and 29 others like this

reposted by blahblahyaya, naebitnae, krital, hartco and peeryoung

I've never hated anyone as much as I've hated everyone.

mjf, IreneZavala1, laurakingston6, len_10, _Nathalie_, briannanicole, misterlab, metanoia, asian, crystalD and 8 others like this

reposted by annaking

If everybody just smoked a joint, the world would be a much better place.

crafty, sallyhylby, chocolat, MOBeastsideKB, leahh17, michaelanordin, PriscillaT, LarisaRose, jannavalls, len_10 and 12 others like this

reposted by ajsmom94, MOBeastsideKB and calolien

Are you going to sleep? What if there's a clown demon under your bed?

granty, wickedpyxxie, chanelblunt, IreneZavala1, MindlessDrop, jannavalls, len_10, _Nathalie_, asian, blahblahyaya and 10 others like this

reposted by Matteoxo, Denican and wickedpyxxie

Don't try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other.

BiteSenior, UserOne, Etcetera, sallyhylby, atrano, J.Bravo, AnnaKai, cmejiap10, philosophicum, tinsanchez and 56 others like this

reposted by slplawyer, vonkrime, wickedpyxxie, josemanuels22, Rodhe.Shild, mariacruz, khald_71 and carabas100

Mothers are okay, until they mom all over your stuff.

BiteSenior, RamiME, bubu, leahh17, IreneZavala1, kakafon, tweetybird, enzocalipa, martina6574, renagurl and 15 others like this

You know you are addicted to tweeting everything you do when you no longer see the point with confessions in church.

tinsanchez, izabellabarros, tweetybird, joybells, Filippaa_, wiickxyy, _Nathalie_, sipster, kj55, Von.Nygren and 6 others like this

You're grown up now, you have the right to make your own decisions... as long as you have our permission.

mjf, IreneZavala1, kendra, avant-garde, leensmeets, Gabbem, kj55, leyva2, yamin, JJessica and 6 others like this

Huh, so this is what it's like to get a shitload of likes.

majajohansson, kbononos, nelliebellie, IreneZavala1, MindlessDrop, cop99, tweetybird, tab, Tastemakr, kendra and 24 others like this

reposted by bananz1106

Whenever you think you're good at something, remember, there's always someone better than you.

perellano, Babs_77, chocolat, Stokn, aehmpaeh, Denican, RamiME, michaelanordin, IreneZavala1, MindlessDrop and 24 others like this

reposted by jbom03 and Denican

I wish I was a millionaire. Then again, this couch is really comfortable.

chocolat, sss63, aehmpaeh, NightLuck, mavelle, tweetybird, blahblahyaya, tab, asian, paiges725 and 15 others like this

Fall seven times

Stand up
eight

streetmedic, meohmy, Krimi63, ene, Babs_77, mjf, Whaaat47, carmen_marley, fckbadmusic, graphxp and 21 others like this

reposted by Whaaat47, Babs_77, TinaLittle and Krimi63

If school sucked any harder than it does now, I'd orgasm.

prubton, phuamaxx, UserOne, ZeepBella, meohmy, PennyLame, elle.bee, Freakosuave813, wickedpyxxie, cop99 and 24 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie and wookie

I like how every racist joke begins by looking over your shoulder.

blackboxmagic, tweetybird, sebatl, leahh17, cop99, lander, vonkrime, elleinad, xto22, asian and 20 others like this

reposted by tegodon47

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

UserOne, navi, haiden_, ineedajedhug, skyberry, annsan12, ceresse, cyzeah, luddelfc, Akatrine and 31 others like this

reposted by leodvincci89, chad, ceresse, skyberry and khald_71

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

streetmedic, blackboxmagic, spiritdancers, kiyah1620, sallyhylby, AnnaKai, mjf, Babs_77, chocolat, LJKToday and 42 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie, dosoedie and LenaRalene

Love your
heart.

chocolat, cherry0894, SpecialAppsSK, tweetybird, wickedpyxxie, izabellabarros, tianaone, wizlosophy, carterh4, maximreulliaux and 14 others like this

reposted by ValeriaTouma and wickedpyxxie

I'm up all night to get lucky.

chocolat, tweetybird, izabellabarros, RamiME, maad_cityDawg, asian, tianaone, wizlosophy, stargater, naebitnae and 9 others like this

When your life is shit, remember that you are also going to die. Probably pretty soon.

giadaalice, asian, wizlosophy, fairyfloss, iaminfinite, naebitnae, frida, my_crazy_life, fcukay, Chilidog and 6 others like this

reposted by martinsdiamond

My daddy is stronger than yours.

mjf, cherry0894, em87, wizlosophy, gdanken, xJosephine, Tastemakr, naebitnae, onigs, Lirpae.. and 12 others like this

reposted by ValeriaTouma

I asked god for money, but I know he doesn't work that way. So I stole some and asked for forgivness.

Floki, Micky6935, chocolat, hmiyazaki, funkymonkey, Golden, Sven, asian, Nina-Aliyah, wizlosophy and 22 others like this

reposted by hmiyazaki

I've heard that you can die from being alive, so I'll just commit suicide before something bad happens to me.

chasitynicole2, maad_cityDawg, MindlessDrop, wizlosophy, naebitnae, fcukay, alinaaa27, mikazious, begrian, Lirpae.. and 5 others like this

Before exams, I suddenly become extremely religious.

chocolat, cherry0894, sss63, Lirpae.., c-o, wizlosophy, jaykay, Tastemakr, iaminfinite, frauheinrich and 16 others like this

reposted by chad, c-o and mmery

If I could choose one superpower, it would be too understand what happens with earphones once they go into my pocket and come out tangled to oblivion.

maad_cityDawg, wizlosophy, naebitnae, misterlab, Dar.G, kj55, elvisinio123, emmalof, alinaaa27, sarcaSM and 5 others like this

reposted by lavi

You could really use a Snickers.

impressioart, rooth90, angdeniz0516, jpb042595, nicbruuu, kj55, Mr_Kirkwood, fool, Lirpae.., Linneaelvira and 5 others like this

reposted by nicbruuu and impressioart

My brain has the best graphics ever.

chocolat, tweetybird, wizlosophy, Tastemakr, stargater, naebitnae, diggy, stefan_noth, bold, ernstrose and 5 others like this

reposted by naebitnae

I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!

streetmedic, stefunny, LeRieur, xxyz, sallyhylby, M.thomsen, hirondelle, chocolat, LarisaRose, cyzeah and 32 others like this

reposted by Pinto13, brunoclement, lehoo11, kaset79 and wickedpyxxie

If I actually was the 100.00th visitor to each of those websites, I'd be a millionarie by now.

wizlosophy, alinaaa27, christina_catr, hemko, Awesome, Fridaa, MeMyselfAnd..I, kj55, ikyoulikey, Lirpae.. and 2 others like this

I was going to do something today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday.

tweetybird, kooro-jooro, wizlosophy, Filippaa_, jannavalls, asian, alinaaa27, Linneaelvira, Lirpae.., wiickxyy and 9 others like this

I'm never drinking again, except for the next time I drink.

gpresleyrn, _Nathalie_, johnm0100, wizlosophy, nickitea, calolien, KFLondon, evvelina, _nic_leigh, Romain_Lucien and 11 others like this

reposted by faizz and johnm0100

Politicians are like pigs. They're simply pigs.

fairyfloss, brody, linny, misterlab, kendra, amiMad, jannavalls, kj55, mazzzz1, pixtor and 4 others like this

One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Floor

reikiart, fuechsin, Luenchen, wizlosophy, fairyfloss, esenciasadicta, hellomynameis, elvisinio123, Romain_Lucien, TinuStettler and 16 others like this

reposted by esenciasadicta

Sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

josiehale, chocolat, cherry0894, rgray007, brunoclement, ravynspeex, kendra, JoiJetson, brody, metalhead and 13 others like this

reposted by brunoclement and rgray007

Sometimes way too much drink isn't enough.

ehab_faris, chocolat, wizlosophy, aymsdesigns, kendra, brody, alinaaa27, misterlab, anastazija, aylah and 4 others like this

If you've got no arms, put your hands in the air!

Romain_Lucien, kendra, dangoprincess, The1Cobra, elvisinio123, Lirpae.., _Nathalie_, imalewzer, inspired, fuechsin and 1 other like this

If everbody lived by all the motivational statements posted here, we'd achieve world peace.

DIM1500, Babs_77, wizlosophy, danicatto, kendra, nwallinn, Junomea, _Nathalie_, brody, Duncanville and 10 others like this

reposted by brody and RobbertPoel

I got 99 problems, and bitches are all of them.

Lirpae.., Zzzz, mazzzz1, metalhead, t_treeman, tashajuju, claudia, zefrances, term and bold like this

reposted by RobbertPoel

Wednesdays are the middle finger of the week.

stanleyfu, Gabbem, ene, PenSword72, _Nathalie_, Babs_77, mjf, chocolat, aehmpaeh, leodvincci89 and 24 others like this

reposted by leodvincci89, Babs_77 and Vinyl

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

lehoo11, misterlab, hassanisback, happyauer, francarreira, _Nathalie_, wigo00, ruiamgoncalves, stussen, Roel and 5 others like this

Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.

poeta, selda, _Nathalie_, aryapratama, kj55, felicethecat, leodvincci89, fcukay, triciasomebody, iromocorral and 26 others like this

reposted by KFLondon, fcukay and Denican

Love the shit out of youself.

josiehale, cherry0894, wickedpyxxie, Nia, brody, triciasomebody, cg7, lisarosen, corikomori, empsan and 11 others like this

reposted by brody, janelle and wickedpyxxie

I hope you step on LEGO.

streetmedic, Authlander, spiritdancers, sallyhylby, lima, gloriaRN, em87, mecb, jakub_jerzy, wizlosophy and 35 others like this

reposted by Nutmeg, gingerNinja and gonzogarciauy

What If I closed my eyes and wished really hard?

wizlosophy, giadaalice, inspired, undermupp, caaassii, Zzzz, kj55, zaranordin, guggigirl, emmiehej and 6 others like this

reposted by emmiehej

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ChrisRota, ephemeraljoy, Krimi63, hensch, daniel8a14, xxyz, Akatrine, goldentree, ReNeR, tdigirl145 and 30 others like this

reposted by melania

The moment when people ask what Hitlers last name was.

Andrix018, wizlosophy, Maggis, corikomori, amandaa, KFLondon, misterlab, maxfaitbetise, kallme_karma, GuitarArnie and 7 others like this

If mom can't find it, it's gone forever.

streetmedic, wizlosophy, musissy, LeaBo, mameesa, lisarosen, corikomori, amandaa, mischievousmeg, francarreira and 20 others like this

reposted by achavez and M.thomsen

I'm just saying, if stupidity was a job, you'd be a millionaire.

perellano, kelbell, andraa04, queen_misfit, Rolana82, nyatemi, mkimberly, yankee84, mayugo7, Sven and 23 others like this

reposted by amandaa

A duckface a day, keeps the gentlemen away.

Babs_77, _Nathalie_, lnlellen, Maggis, siwsuv, maxfaitbetise, caaassii, aline, rocketlandonx, annibunny22 and 14 others like this

reposted by rocketlandonx and aloe_

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

navi, wickedpyxxie, wizlosophy, peeryoung, ravynspeex, imalewzer, mischievousmeg, Lirpae.., felleskog, happyauer and 9 others like this

reposted by peeryoung, kreutner, wickedpyxxie and navi

Here I am! What are your other two wishes?

sss63, wickedpyxxie, Luenchen, wizlosophy, Nia, brody, mameesa, francarreira, kj55, FilippaS and 6 others like this

reposted by wickedpyxxie

Light travels faster than sound. This must be why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

sherrysmiles, Jaida, mecb, wizlosophy, t_treeman, clarazack, kj55, illforthrill, inspired, Chilidog and 8 others like this

reposted by jpb042595 and viola_i

Keeping it real is a full time job.
If only you could get payed for it.

Campo, mmery, loryane, wizlosophy, SheGorgeousDUH, ravynspeex, caaassii, FilippaS, Dar.G, Tovetherese and 3 others like this

reposted by RulesOfLife

Most people are something, but you are something else.

sagur, caaassii, FilippaS, g4mbler313, iaminfinite, sakura88, erikvisser, itsbillyWTF, KFLondon, hassanisback and 9 others like this

reposted by elvira5, marsbarnet, KFLondon and 3m1n

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.

Denican, peeryoung, FilippaS, Jahboy, itsbillyWTF, umed, ernstrose and kj55 like this

reposted by Denican

God is watching you. Give him a show he won't forget.

newkid2013, kreutner, brody, josefineposs, leilameow, mischievousmeg, FilippaS, itsbillyWTF, satan, Sukiakina and 19 others like this

reposted by ValeriaTouma, rocketlandonx, josefineposs and kreutner

Parents are somehow the only people you'd do anything for, but still do anything to move away from.

?.?

wizlosophy, itsbillyWTF, jah, kedre1958, inspired, tanzdichfrei, happyauer, Dar.G, iaminfinite, tweetybird and 3 others like this

reposted by francarreira and cecilia

I wish I knew sign-language, it could become
pretty handy. ?

itsbillyWTF, jah, martgera25, tanzdichfrei, wiickxyy, MeMyselfAnd..I, kj55, anonymomatic, begrian, stussen and 2 others like this

?

??????????

?

tanzdichfrei, wiickxyy, Pinksparkle., renagurl, jonesygirl80, g4mbler313, begrian, amandaa, ludiluddha, IzzaPettersson and 2 others like this

BoldRecipes, FilippaS, erikvisser, rocketlandonx, KFLondon, IzzaPettersson, ludiluddha, kalenface, g4mbler313, reason and 5 others like this

There are only two goals in football.

leilameow, alexfgarcia, Beiho, mackanmedsalt, anonyman, kj55, _Nathalie_, bold, begrian and g4mbler313 like this

reposted by cecilia

When I step in the bathroom, I'm teleported to a whole new world. The shower becomes my stage, and the showerhead my microphone.

wizlosophy, FilippaS, autumnlynnn, natw84, iaminfinite, wiickxyy, francarreira, rocketlandonx, itsbillyWTF, stussen and 12 others like this

reposted by cecilia

Even duct tape can't fix a broken heart.

Sven, FilippaS, kedre1958, chellesmithl, always_sim, hassanisback, kj55, amiMad, mackanmedsalt, Beiho and 12 others like this

reposted by rocketlandonx

This is not the greatest bold in the world, no.
This is just a tribute.

fuechsin, naebitnae, kedre1958, kj55, Shadey, mackanmedsalt, jennicookie, rocketlandonx, audaciouswho, RulesOfLife and 8 others like this

You are now reading this text.

carmen_marley, kedre1958, kj55, mackanmedsalt, ILoveManga, tab, joybells, KFLondon, amiMad, A.M. and 9 others like this

If I ever find Monday, I'll snap his neck.

cecilia, iaminfinite, Pinksparkle., Shadey, felleskog, tweetybird, KFLondon, amiMad, anonyman, KatxReign and 4 others like this

reposted by cecilia

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

wizlosophy, brody, edenvin, MissGaGa, kj55, ILoveManga, Benco, wallifer, guggigirl, amandaa and 5 others like this

reposted by rocketlandonx, cecilia and josefineposs

There is no place like somewhere that doesn't exist.

wizlosophy, leilameow, misterlab, kedre1958, cecilia, kj55, ILoveManga, joybells, AliceoJagare, mischievousmeg and 9 others like this

reposted by cecilia

LOCATION
LOCATION
LOCATION

brody, chellesmithl, mazzzz1, kj55, izzi, rocketlandonx, rgray007, The1Cobra, fufu, pushingvision and 5 others like this

Stop following me.

kedre1958, kj55, naomizamira, amiMad, izzi, KFLondon, amandaa, tweetybird, g4mbler313, anonymomatic and 4 others like this

Fuck you...

...is what I want to do.

sallyhylby, KELLEY, kamari, kj55, ILoveManga, V13, saskiatombrock, renagurl, amiMad, minnie and 15 others like this

reposted by KELLEY

I have exquisite design and fashion taste, I sadly just don't have the money to prove it :(

streetmedic, mjf, jjjjjjf, wizlosophy, brody, leilameow, chellesmithl, kj55, mmcontreras28, rocketlandonx and 15 others like this

reposted by rocketlandonx

Life is a prostitute, and I don't have any money.

Akatrine, richjaybitch, cherry0894, wizlosophy, leilameow, kj55, KikiOroh, amiMad, g4mbler313, riibekka and 8 others like this

reposted by martgera25

brody, leilameow, kj55, chad, riibekka, KFLondon, raihan_yusoff, iaminfinite, corikomori, dangoprincess and 7 others like this

I just made it into the most popular list.

Bitches love guys in the most popular list.

t_treeman, kj55, ablasqalli, Oktoberflicka, raihan_yusoff, hassanisback, stefan_noth, A.M., rocketlandonx, tweetybird and 4 others like this

Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now.

aryapratama, wizlosophy, brody, leilameow, reason, francarreira, mazzzz1, kj55, nickicrayy, renagurl and 14 others like this

I've wondered, when cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

m_R_s, wizlosophy, kedre1958, edenvin, Binny, kj55, izzi, corikomori, itsbillyWTF, wallifer and 10 others like this

reposted by cecilia

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

kedre1958, kj55, ablasqalli, Oktoberflicka, corikomori, itsbillyWTF, wallifer, stussen, hassanisback, rgray007 and 4 others like this

Everything in theory also works in practice.

In theory.

streetmedic, janem803, ChrisRota, SpecialAppsSK, Authlander, interdit, savior-vivre, UserOne, Krimi63, dor1316 and 52 others like this

reposted by bold, pecegigios, MacDynamite, ase_linderud, dmugica, billy_1st, gcolinet and ChrisRota

Everybody, CALM THE FUCK DOWN FOR A SECOND.

What colour is a mirror?

poptankar, carmen_marley, littlethings, kj55, audaciouswho, minnie, Tanya, rocketlandonx, elvira5, stefan_noth and 10 others like this

reposted by jannavalls and cecilia

Bold is really about how much you can rip off of the internet.

kj55, Junomea, aguiladescalza, wallifer, Gabbem, crystalD, rocketlandonx, KatxReign, stefan_noth, HeresyIsWeird and 7 others like this

reposted by cecilia

Some peolpe are so poor, all they have is money.

heidierdbeer, TimBuktu, Mapiya, perellano, ene, meerstern, Babs_77, mmery, goldentree, _Nathalie_ and 16 others like this

reposted by kusiqollur, cecilia, mmery, Babs_77 and meerstern

I'm not actually funny. I'm just mean and people think I'm joking.

Dalie, jessylynn, perellano, moshimoshi, kontrapoet, sallyhylby, M.thomsen, vivii, Andrix018, sw.lee. and 26 others like this

reposted by cecilia, hannastromme, kreutner, Shelly103 and jessylynn

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.

haiden_, goldentree, _Nathalie_, littlethings, brody, t_treeman, amiMad, Tanya, rocketlandonx, Fridaa and 16 others like this

reposted by Sukiakina, pallo357 and cecilia

The brain named itself.
Just wanted to throw that out there.

ChrisRota, mjf, brody, lilymarlen, alexfgarcia, autumnlynnn, kj55, gregoir, stefan_noth, ikyoulikey and 3 others like this

reposted by elitegamer

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

joybells, hassanisback, irene, PatriciaKozul, chrisstobbe, begrian, A.M., queen_in_town, inspired, ernstrose and 2 others like this

I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it.

jelectra, tritta07, leilameow, cecilia, Stofiy, tweetybird, pau_lee, kj55, hassanisback, Jahboy and 19 others like this

reposted by cecilia, mirjamjaeger and abbas

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

Ms_Ntlebi, wizlosophy, b.alexis, marcomarchio, tweetybird, kj55, aoibhy, misterlab, elinnolofsson, aamir and 16 others like this

reposted by cecilia

When money speaks, the truth is silent

brody, amiMad, marcomarchio, sera_la_dera, tweetybird, Jahboy, inspired, itsbillyWTF, wigo00, corikomori and 5 others like this

reposted by cecilia

I'm not stupid, I'm just unlucky when I think.

rmax62, orla357, queen_misfit, cherry0894, Rolana82, syamdrey, _Nathalie_, bold, yamin, amiMad and 11 others like this

reposted by elvira5, cecilia, yamin, yamin, kimboc, echoalpha, syamdrey and rmax62

Rehab is for quitters!

wizlosophy, amiMad, misterlab, klwaller, jannavalls, wigo00, oliviaforsell, kj55, asadansari154, A.M. and 6 others like this

It's not that I don't know how to juggle, I just don't have the balls to do it.

MandS, ellibiss, Gabbem, corikomori, elinstolt, hassanisback, The1Cobra, vrtx, Dar.G, misterlab and 7 others like this

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

perellano, MandS, undermupp, wigo00, alexfgarcia, corikomori, signarture, SaraRuid, hassanisback, inspired and 17 others like this

There's no such thing as luck, but some peolpe seem to have alot of it.

Sven, leilameow, wigo00, hassanisback, misterlab, oskarkjarrman, ikyoulikey, begrian, flygirlgetem, chrisstobbe and 6 others like this

Pardon me, I'm allergic to bullshit.

d33d33, sera_la_dera, antoine_sm, bravestar, sakura88, lexicaban95, c-o, misterlab, jossisen, elinnolofsson and 11 others like this

Words are just a combination of letters.

elvira5, Hunter, misterlab, ottosuper, vrtx, kj55, Romansp, rgray007, annieh97, darling_zee and 7 others like this

reposted by elvira5

"Ladies first" is yet another way to stare at a girls booty.

natashamoyse, legacyindeed, wizlosophy, pau_lee, Jahboy, Festizz, corikomori, misterlab, elinnolofsson, vrtx and 15 others like this

reposted by cecilia

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

streetmedic, ehab_faris, sagur, sss63, Lirpae.., triciasomebody, wizlosophy, sera_la_dera, misterlab, chicken_master and 15 others like this

Trust me when I say, don't trust anyone.

wizlosophy, Fridaa, chicken_master, wigo00, queen_in_town, jennola504, blahblahyaya, inspired, soene, anonyman and 9 others like this

reposted by cecilia

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

wizlosophy, Fridaa, linabonin, jossisen, malinoberg, Nina-Aliyah, wigo00, begrian, kj55, vrtx and 4 others like this

reposted by cecilia

The future is not what it once used to be.

rgray007, alexfgarcia, begrian, misterlab, Oktoberflicka, vrtx, jano, kj55, moahgustafsson, wigo00 and 1 other like this

Yeah, can I get a cheesburger without the cheese?

mjf, Luenchen, pau_lee, jannavalls, Nina-Aliyah, The1Cobra, misterlab, moahgustafsson, anonyman, cococaro and 4 others like this

I miss the time when songs were actually recorded with real instruments.

aryapratama, The1Cobra, jennie00, Dutch, rgray007, kj55, the_last_angel, anheli, Dar.G, raihan_yusoff and 6 others like this

reposted by cecilia

The reason a mans mind is dirtier than a womens, is because she changes it all the time.

vrtx, wigo00, raihan_yusoff, janatinka, haekaru and kj55 like this

$Dear math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

carmen_marley, hubbabubba, jennola504, vrtx, the_last_angel, 20koko12, jannavalls, kj55, KatxReign, inspired and 8 others like this

reposted by cecilia

Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

UserOne, elle0931, samsr, rgray007, wigo00, clarazack, Luenchen, decobie, alexfgarcia, kj55 and 1 other like this

reposted by cecilia and Denican

I can't wait for that to never happen

term, clarazack, alinaaa27, t_treeman, jannavalls, felleskog, mpsw, anonyman, little_hippie, nwallinn and 4 others like this

Just realized that women are so good at housekeeping, so that they can keep your house when you divorce.

kicklejonsson, jannavalls, anonyman, jano, g4mbler313, zefrances, kj55, darling_zee, A.M., vrtx and 2 others like this

You don't know what you know until you know what you don't know... Or something

mjf, jannavalls, tinis78, joybells, Dar.G, permanentwaves, haekaru, wiickxyy, nwallinn and kj55 like this

reposted by cecilia

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

rgray007, vrtx, inspired, ernstrose, haekaru, wiickxyy, KatxReign and kj55 like this

A day without sunshine is like... well, you know, night.

woernie, carmen_marley, wizlosophy, rgray007, wigo00, jossisen, jannavalls, patrick, inspired, sipster and 8 others like this

reposted by patrick and cecilia

History will be written in Bold

Lirpae.., inspired, misterlab, kj55, wiickxyy, A.M., permanentwaves, anonyman, mazzzz1, zefrances and 1 other like this

Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.

leilameow, rgray007, clarazack, jossisen, jannavalls, awalz, inspired, kj55, mustachoman, Tovetherese and 7 others like this

reposted by tegodon47

Hellre en bollkalle i kanalen än en kall balle i analen.

mjf, leilameow, sandrakvant, Festizz, malwal, rgray007, carterh4, ida, Tovetherese, nwallinn and 2 others like this

- I told you to shut up when you're talking to me!

erin3, rgray007, jannavalls, misterlab, kj55, awalz, Dar.G, anonyman and theviledevil like this

Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.

leilameow, misterlab, rgray007, inspired, kj55, mustachoman, lovemychouchou, oliviaforsell, anonyman, felleskog and 4 others like this

reposted by cecilia

It's all in your head.

wizlosophy, henke, clarazack, inspired, kj55, mustachoman, oliviaforsell, nwallinn, vrtx and alexfgarcia like this

I wish I could experience a zombie apocalypse with a couple of friends just for one day.

Raeca, wizlosophy, rgray007, kj55, awalz, tegodon47, wiickxyy and anonyman like this