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hemko

You're weird. I like you.

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Bold Points 32202

Bold Since 1363885604000

hemko

Dad, you've always been like a father to me.

72

I wish more things could be blamed on autocorrect.

64

I'd like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

68

I'm having a hard time getting over the relationship that we were never in.

78

Everything in theory also works in practice.

In theory.

62

And the brain said to the beaten up heart "you never learn, do you?"

74

Don't try to understand women. Women understand women, and they hate each other.

66

I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

57

I live in fear of accidentally hearing a Justin Bieber song and liking it.

53

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679594396095495718957721791559730058869364684557667609245090608820221223571925 453671519183487258742391941089044411595993276004450655620646116465566548759424 736925233695599303035509581762617623184956190649483967300203776387436934399982 943020914707361894793269276244518656023955905370512897816345542332011497599489 627842432748378803270141867695262118097500640514975588965029300486760520801049 153788541390942453169171998762894127722112946456829486028149318156024967788794 981377721622935943781100444806079767242927624951078415344642915084276452000204 276947069804177583220909702029165734725158290463091035903784297757265172087724 474095226716630600546971638794317119687348468873818665675127929857501636341131 462753049901913564682380432997069577015078933772865803571279091376742080565549 362541

40

??

We judge ourselves by our intentions and judge others by their actions.

??

48

LET'S
GO
TOO
FAR

35

Sorry ladies, but unfortunately there isn't a "clear history" button for your vagina.

42

You had me at your proper use of "you're".

39

Some peolpe are so poor, all they have is money.

26

I hope you step on LEGO.

45

Oh I'm sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

53

I wish I had more middle fingers to give out.

52

I'm never wrong. I once thought I was wrong, but it turned out I was mistaken.

39

Life seems like the slowest form of suicide.

51

If the brain was so simple that we could understand it, it would be so simple that we couldn't.

35

Wednesdays are the middle finger of the week.

34

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

42

I want patience - AND I WANT IT NOW!

42

If school sucked any harder than it does now, I'd orgasm.

34

Fall seven times

Stand up
eight

32

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

38

Add a touch of magic to your cold by putting glitter in your mouth before you sneeze.

40

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

38

I love my sixpack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.

38

Anything is possible if you have no clue what the hell you're talking about...

38

Hey, want to double your iPhone battery life? Put the fucking thing down.

42

I'd appreciate it if you started treating me like a sex object.

33

Huh, so this is what it's like to get a shitload of likes.

34

I'm not actually funny. I'm just mean and people think I'm joking.

36

Follow your dreams, except for that one where you're naked at work.

36

The moment you rewatch childhood movies and actually understand what's going on now.

42

Seen it all. Done it all. Can't remember most of it.

26

Whenever you think you're good at something, remember, there's always someone better than you.

35

Don't worry, your secret is safe with me... and my best friends. Probably all their friends too.

35

I'm just saying, if stupidity was a job, you'd be a millionaire.

33

If mom can't find it, it's gone forever.

30

A duckface a day, keeps the gentlemen away.

25

No matter how serious life gets, you'll allways need the company of people you can be stupid with.

33

If everbody lived by all the motivational statements posted here, we'd achieve world peace.

20

I like how every racist joke begins by looking over your shoulder.

30

Nothing brings two people together as the hatred of a third person.

27

aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª
aªaªaªaªaªaª

23

I'm not stupid, I'm just unlucky when I think.

21

It's saturday. If it requires pants, it's not happening today...

26

I don't mind being nude, if you don't mind being speechlessly impressed.

31

I asked god for money, but I know he doesn't work that way. So I stole some and asked for forgivness.

32

God is watching you. Give him a show he won't forget.

29

Hey, let's make believing in Unicorns a religion and then make money off of people who threat and oppose us publicly!

26

I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don't have as many people who believe it.

29

Before exams, I suddenly become extremely religious.

27

Are you going to sleep? What if there's a clown demon under your bed?

20

If everybody just smoked a joint, the world would be a much better place.

21

Love the shit out of youself.

21

One tequila
Two tequila
Three tequila
Floor

27

Let's hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.

25

Making jokes about Hipsters is so mainstream...

29

Your body has a wingardium leviosa effect on my penis.

23

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

31

My belt holds my pants up, but the belt loops hold my belt. I can't really decide which one the hero is.

27

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.

25

Fuck you...

...is what I want to do.

25

Sex is better than logic, but I can't prove it.

23

27

"Ladies first" is yet another way to stare at a girls booty.

25

I just realized I have a passion for not cooking.

22

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.

26

Everybody, CALM THE FUCK DOWN FOR A SECOND.

What colour is a mirror?

20

I have exquisite design and fashion taste, I sadly just don't have the money to prove it :(

25

I love the sound of children not being around.

25

For as long as I can remember, I've always suffered from memory loss.

27

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

27

When I step in the bathroom, I'm teleported to a whole new world. The shower becomes my stage, and the showerhead my microphone.

22

Love your
heart.

24

You're weird. I like you.

19

There is no place like somewhere that doesn't exist.

19

I wish googling myself gave better results.

25

I'm not sexy enough
for my shirt :(

24

Hello friends, does anybody remember me?

18

Hard work pays off in the future, but laziness pays off now.

24

Even duct tape can't fix a broken heart.

22

Hey, let's judge other people because our own lives turned out shit!

21

I'm never drinking again, except for the next time I drink.

21

I wish I was a millionaire. Then again, this couch is really comfortable.

25

Mothers are okay, until they mom all over your stuff.

25

Keeping it real is a full time job.
If only you could get payed for it.

13

When everybody quitely agrees with me, I sometimes get the feeling that I'm wrong.

22

I've wondered, when cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

20

Light travels faster than sound. This must be why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

18

25

Never go to bed angry, stay awake and plot your revenge.

19

My daddy is stronger than yours.

22

My poor life decisions look like fantastic drinking opportunities.

19

Children can be so cute, I could just eat them up!

Literally.

I hate them.

24

Thanks for tagging me in a Facebook photo that I immediately untagged because I didn't look amazing.

24

I'm up all night to get lucky.

19

Sex Etiquette: Laughing is encouraged. Pointing and laughing is discouraged.

20

School is slowly killing me. Wasn't it supposed to educate me?

23

Life is a prostitute, and I don't have any money.

18

Never get into fights with ugly people, they have nothing to lose.

15

I envy girls, that have it so easy. They just buy a new bag and get over it.

20

Tickling: Like rape, but you are forced to laught.

22

ONE
THOUSAND
FOLLOWERS

22

Pardon me, I'm allergic to bullshit.

21

Most people are something, but you are something else.

19

My brain has the best graphics ever.

15

If prepared just right, I'd make love to a burrito.

15

A day without sunshine is like... well, you know, night.

18

I've never hated anyone as much as I've hated everyone.

18

I'm really fun when it's not appropriate to be.

20

$Dear math, please grow up and solve your own problems, I'm tired of solving them for you.$

18

Words are just a combination of letters.

17

Just buy trophies and you'll be good at everything.

21

Friends logic, let's go to a crowded bar or party to sociolize exclusively with ourselves.

21

This is not the greatest bold in the world, no.
This is just a tribute.

18

I hate mornings. And Mondays. And working. Other than that, I'm entirely happy.

19

I love the weekend, but I hate when the week ends.

9

Here I am! What are your other two wishes?

16

I was going to do something today, but I haven't finished doing nothing from yesterday.

19

Trust me when I say, don't trust anyone.

19

You are now reading this text.

19

What If I closed my eyes and wished really hard?

16

It's not that I don't know how to juggle, I just don't have the balls to do it.

17

Bold is really about how much you can rip off of the internet.

18

LOCATION
LOCATION
LOCATION

15

You could really use a Snickers.

15

To infinity then stop.

18

I miss the time when songs were actually recorded with real instruments.

16

When money speaks, the truth is silent

16

Sometimes things start to get very serious between me and my hand-held showerhead.

15

Waking up.
Humans.
Working.
The things I hate.

17

Rehab is for quitters!

16

17

Parents are somehow the only people you'd do anything for, but still do anything to move away from.

?.?

13

The moment when people ask what Hitlers last name was.

17

I've heard that you can die from being alive, so I'll just commit suicide before something bad happens to me.

15

You know you are addicted to tweeting everything you do when you no longer see the point with confessions in church.

16

Alright brain, I don't like you and you don't like me. But let's just do this, so I can go back to killing you with alcohol.

18

Whenever I think of an awesome bold, I list it on my phones notes app for later use.

18

Always remember that you are unique, just like everybody else.

17

I just made it into the most popular list.

Bitches love guys in the most popular list.

14

Politicians are like pigs. They're simply pigs.

14

If I could choose one superpower, it would be too understand what happens with earphones once they go into my pocket and come out tangled to oblivion.

15

When your life is shit, remember that you are also going to die. Probably pretty soon.

16

Bless
the
booty.

Amen.

14

It'a been a while since I flashed a smile

16

•••
Swedish
House
Mafia
•••

12

There's no such thing as luck, but some peolpe seem to have alot of it.

16

It would be a tragic waste of talent if you didn't enter every conceivable wet t-shirt contest.

14

Yoga pants for females.

The single greatest invention since the dawn of time.

17

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

17

The brain named itself.
Just wanted to throw that out there.

13

Stop following me.

14

If I ever find Monday, I'll snap his neck.

14

Life is hard. After all, it kills you.

11

If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.

14

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you!

15

You're grown up now, you have the right to make your own decisions... as long as you have our permission.

16

Chase your dreams, or be chased by a serial killer within them.

15

You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.

14

Sometimes way too much drink isn't enough.

15

I trust any research claiming that semen is good for a woman's skin.

14

Yeah, can I get a cheesburger without the cheese?

14

15

There are no limits to what you can accomplish when you are supposed to be doing something else.

14

Dad, can I please get some money to do some deplorable things with my shady friends?

15

I sure miss the time when we had to guess what girls on instagram had for breakfast.

14

Don't wait for the storm to pass, learn to dance in the rain.

14

Hellre en bollkalle i kanalen än en kall balle i analen.

12

I can't wait for that to never happen

14

?

??????????

?

13

Thanks for not inviting me into any confusing and pointless Facebook applications.

12

I got 99 problems, and bitches are all of them.

10

Trust me.

I'm a doctor.

11

Sometimes when everyone agrees with me, I get a feeling that I'm wrong.

12

I'll admit, I don't have a six-pack. But I do have a one-pack that's really big.

13

Just realized that women are so good at housekeeping, so that they can keep your house when you divorce.

12

I wish I knew sign-language, it could become
pretty handy. ?

12

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your children.

8

If you've got no arms, put your hands in the air!

11

History will be written in Bold

11

If we could just find out who's in charge, we could kill him.

12

4 8 15 16 23 42

8

It's all in your head.

10

You don't know what you know until you know what you don't know... Or something

10

There are only two goals in football.

10

My only secret is that I regret not having any valuable secrets.

11

Crave for them.

Crave for the internet points.

11

The forest
is running.

10

- I told you to shut up when you're talking to me!

9

The future is not what it once used to be.

11

If I actually was the 100.00th visitor to each of those websites, I'd be a millionarie by now.

12

You
had
me
at
"Wanna hump all night?"

5

Children! Gather around, gather around, for today is a good day. Uncle Tea has made awaited return!

10

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

8

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