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A big shout out to all the weeds that are growing through the concrete right now.
The first mushroom eaters were some brave sumbitches. All that trial and error like: This one tastes like beef, this one killed Bob immediately, and this one makes you see God for 2 days.
Researchers have found that people will believe anything if you say that researchers have found out something
I don't trust anyone who hasn't had a bad day, or burnt their food, or broken a heart or two.
SHOCKING BUT TRUE:

People who are not like you, people who are absolutely different from you, still have human rights. 
*Their rights are not dependent on your feelings. It is regardless 
of your feelings, or your opinions.*

This storm is different for each of us- we all have our own boat,  some are yachts,  some are canoes.
YOU CAN TELL HOW MUCH A WOMAN LIKES  YOU BY HER FEET...

IF THEY ARE BEHIND HER EARS !
SHE REALLY REALLY LIKES YOU


I WILL BE POSTING TELEPATHICALLY TODAY, 


SO IF YOU ARE THINKING OF SOMETHING FUNNY 

THAT WAS ME ;-))
I fired myself from cleaning the house. 


I didn't like my attitude and i got caught drinking on the job.


The sense of time depends on which side of the toilet door you are on at the moment.
As long as there are enough people wrong about the same thing, it's not considered insanity.

My ability to deal with chronic pain is my Superpower
Believe in what you want so much that it has no choice but 
to materialize.
my truths and yours might not be the same.
and that is OK
Leave it to the experts



(and their privately sponsored agendas and inhumane lobby groups)


 At some point,
 you must accept the fact 
 that some people 
can stay in your heart,
 but not in your life.
a good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.
To remember who you are, you need to forget who they told you to be. . .
You will never know how amazing your story can end if you keep living the same chapter.

Turn the page.
YOU CAN LEARN A LOT ABOUT LUST, LOVE AND TRUST...






...ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS TIED TO THE BEDPOST.


I'm not sure if I want to go out and wish I was home, or stay in and wish I was out

JOIN THE 3 DAY CHALLENGE!

NO COFFEE ON FEBRUARY 
29, 30 AND 31!
gotta stop reading books when they start to bore the fuck out of me


A poem for the moon

that disappears

before the ink can dry
I think women are 
                      magic creatures:




they get wet without water, bleed without being injured, give milk without eating grass, & can make boneless meat
                               ROCK HARD!
Comedy is like sex, if they haven't made a sound for a while you do something wrong.

The Magic of unspoken communication.


a poor magician always blames his wand


"Reading gives us some place to go when we have to stay where we are."

         Mason Cooley



Lockdowngesicht

  expecto patronum
matschig,
after
Schnee it's matschig
Penn and Teller are
           like a married couple.








Only one of them
                                 gets to talk.


 AUROR


When your mind 
 tells you not to do it,
 you better listen.
If this love does not call itself a wildfire 

then i do not want it at all.
Did you hear about the 
              perverted magician?








He pulled his top hat
                            out of a Bunny.
LET'S 
GRAB 
TODAY 
BY 
THE 
COFFEE 
BEANS
Did you hear about
              the magical tractor?









               It turned into a field!
What do you call
        a magician on a plane?









                      A flying sorcerer!
that's what sailing is,
a dance,
and your partner is the sea.
and with the sea
you never take liberties.
you ask her,
you don't tell her.
you have to remember always
that she's the leader,
not you.
you and your boat
are dancing to her tune.

The magic of doing nothing busily doing nothing. That


 There is a charm 
 about the forbidden 
 that makes it 
 unspeakably 
 desirable.
I fired myself from cleaning the house. 


I didn't like my attitude and i got caught drinking on the job.




An ounce of magic is worth a pound of not




An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but magic makes the apple and the doctor disappear
Doctor, I have a problem ... every time I say abracadabra,
       someone disappears ...






Doctor, doctor,
                            are you there?


Be Weird


Your strangeness is
your Magic
Let the wild flowers grow, 

in all the places 
i could not

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.