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When this is all over, please continue to stay at least 6 feet away from me.

I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to 
Peurto Backyarda.

I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.


With all of the corrupt data,
 
the planet is trying to

 reformat C:\humans *.*
IF YOU DO NOT MAKE TIME FOR YOUR WELLNESS,
YOU WILL BE FORCED TO  MAKE TIME FOR YOUR ILLNESS.
Dear World,
How is the fear?
- Afghanistan 

Dear World
How is the lockdown?
- Palestine

Dear World, 
How is your food stockpiling? - Yemen

Dear World, How is the separation from loved ones? - Syria

Dear World
How are border closures?
- Asylum Seekers
That overwhelming feeling you get in your stomach when your heart gets broken is the butterflies dying all at once.
stay sane by socially
distancing yourself
from reality

THE SAME PEOPLE THAT SELL THE PANIC SELL THE PILL
You think the Easter bunny will deliver essentials?
Quarantine diary

Day 1: Have stocked up on nonperishable food and supplies to last for months, maybe years, to remain in isolation for as long as it takes to ride out this pandemic.

Day 2: Had to go out and buy a pail of ice cream.



if you have a house be thankful and stay in it
Man darf die Mehrheit nicht mit der Wahrheit verwechseln

If you get an email with the subject
'knock knock'

. . . Don't answer it

It's a Jehovah Witness working from home

This is the beginning of a
global change



I sympathize for the homeless.  Many need help.  May God help them.
When this ends, 
may we find that we have become more like the people we wanted to be, we were called to be,
we hoped to be, and may we stay that way-
better for each other
because of the worst.
For anyone who hasn't already done so, remember to turn your clocks forward 4 months today.
Crisis*





*Individual   
 consequences
 may vary
BACK IN MY DAY THERE WAS LITERALY SO MUCH TOILET PAPER THAT PEOPLE WOULD STRING IT ON THE TREES OF OUR ENIMIES
Perfect excuse to not put on pants.

Relax, we were never in control 
anyway

Don't stand, 
don't stand,
Don't stand 
so close to me
One day you may find yourself telling stories about these really hard times when you survived staying at home - and you were forced to find a series on netflix, and mow the grass, and bake your own pain au chocolats, and only venture out of the house for a quick jog around the park.
 
 We still have the power 
 to turn it around.
 
 But first, you have to 
 believe that you can.
without getting too sciency about this, we're all pretty much fucked
How many relationships will survive?
Maybe you did nothing today. Nothing that means anything anyway. You didn't send that email, or pick up the paintbrush, read that book, or work out like you said you would. Maybe you were just there for the ones you love. You helped with school work. Ate something decent. And that's okay too.
On the plus side, I feel like I've caught up with all the sleep I might have ever  missed



the one with the longest straw gets to witness the aftermath first hand
One amazing outcome regarding online classes and distance learning: you defintely begin to recognize the true learners from the ones that are just going through the motions.
OMG...
WE FORGOT TO TELL THE AMISH, HAS ANYONE TOLD THE AMISH WHATS GOING ON???
HALF OF US WILL COME OUT THIS QUARANTINE AS AMAZING COOKS AND THE OTHER HALF WITH A DRINKING 
PROBLEM....THERE NO IN BETWEEN?

''damals als ich auf das köpfchen knallte.''

oder: alle gründe meines heutigen schadens

So, the CIA can hack into my TV and listen to every word  I say 
But McDonald's  can't hear me say  "No pickles" thru their  drive-thru speaker


Coronavirus!



Now coming to a city near you
The Boomerang Effect
PERSON:
WOW! You are a hot mess.

ME:
Oh my God! You think I'm hot!?
It all started with a cough and a sneeze...
YOU WANT A REALITY SHOW HOST AS PRESIDENT WELL NOW' YOU'RE ON SURVIVOR !!
Which will it be?

Get well soon,

Rest in peace,

Or

Lucky you!
When someone says,"I forgot to eat", I think to myself, you must be a special kind of stupid. 

I plan my entire day around eating.
WE PLAN TO CUT ALL HOMELESS PEOPLE IN HALF BY 2025.....

NOT REALLY A HUMANE SOLUTION IN MY OPINION !!

I'D LIKE TO SEE THE TEENAGE VERSION OF MY PARENTS !




We shall overcome
 Oh Mama mia, mama mia
Mama mia, wash your hands
COVID-19 has a sickness put aside for me,
for me

So you think you can stop me and just shake my hand?
So you think you can hang out and not break our plans?
Oh baby, can't do this with me, baby!
Just gotta stay home, just gotta stay home with my fever

Curving can get flatter,
anyone can see
Curving can get flatter,
curving can get flatter, you'll see
"I have seasonal allergies" has saved me more than once during this pandemic!
DADDY,
WHAT DID YOU DO DURING THE THE GREAT COVID-PANIC BUY?

THE MOST DANGEROUS JOB GOIN SON, 
REAR GUNNER ON AN ANDREX TRUCK!
My new film, “I Broke My Leg and Bedazzled It,” has a star-studded cast.

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.