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It is the ironic curse of the author to wish for success only to have it kill you when you find it.
Im fluent in three languages: English, Sarcasm, and Profanity.
There's no "we" in chocolate.
. . .? What I know how to do best is be honest. Love me, hate me, use me, or abuse me, that is just the way it is. Ofrkjr
The Flat Earth Society has members all around the globe.
You are here. Against all odds. A bundle of atoms with opinions, shoes, and unfinished laundry.
One minute you're young and fun. The next, you're turning down the car stereo to see better.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
My mind is like the Bermuda Triangle: information goes in and never comes out.
The next time your wife gets angry, drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say, "Now you're SUPER ANGRY!!" Maybe she'll laugh. Maybe you'll die.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Sorry, Winter hibernation done come early. So, what did I miss?
I'm writing a book on procrastination. I'll start tomorrow.
My goal this weekend is to move just enough so no one thinks I'm dead.
Mistakes. They always wait patiently for someone to make them.
Remember, you've already proven that you can survive the things that were meant to break you.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
Silent Night
Reckon I will just sit and watch what happens...
I always fill the silence. This time I am not. So you understand what you do to me. - lonelyscribe
A Wise Old Karate Sensei (Soft, slow, serious) “You seek speed. But speed is not the secret. Clarity is the secret. Once you know the strike must land it already has.”
I hate people who pretend to be cultural and talk about how they love Mozart. I bet they haven't even seen a single one of his paintings.
A bank will lend you money only if you can prove you don't need it.
Age is just a number. In my case, a really high one.
It is the ironic curse of the author to wish for success only to have it kill you when you find it.
I have intensity. I don't like, love, adore or admire 50/50. from me it's always 100% even if you think otherwise ... ! - lonelyscribe
Much like drinking or laundry or drinking while doing the laundry, Christmas music is something that you have to be “in the mood” for.
Dentist: Do you smoke or drink coffee? Me: I drink it. Dentist: ...
You are here. Against all odds. A bundle of atoms with opinions, shoes, and unfinished laundry.
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
LET'S PRETEND I GIVE A SHIT AND LEAVE IT AT THAT
I always fill the silence. This time I am not. So you understand what you do to me. - lonelyscribe
I'm writing a book on procrastination. I'll start tomorrow.
I'm so good at sleeping, I can do it with my eyes closed.
I heard they are putting chips inside of people.... ...I hope I get Doritos...
I was going to take over the world, but I overslept.
MUSE you are half of this script and the whole of my heart until I get a life partner - lonelyscribe
Finally went on a date. Everything was great till she asked me 'Boxers or briefs?' I said 'Depends'... She just turned around and left.
My mind is like the Bermuda Triangle: information goes in and never comes out.
Reckon I will just sit and watch what happens...
Sorry, Winter hibernation done come early. So, what did I miss?
"Part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time." - Joni Mitchell
I like to live one life at a time.
Whether they want to admit it or not, politics is everywhere and is in constant dialogue with the culture and society in which we live. It's in the sports we play, the music we hear, the films we watch. Our favorite shows have political messages not only in the dialogue, but in the choices made behind the sceneswhose money funds it, the crews background and experience, who is chosen to act, and how everyone is treated along the way.
He was so drunk, he tried to make a pass at me.
Your choices shape the path, your courage lights it. Walk in with calm strength.
When I care, I care hard. When I don't give a fuck, I really don't give a fuck!
It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today or naked tomorrow
You look like something I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying, "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT
If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.
If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal Listening to them - common Arguing with them - acceptable Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food they say the ones you love hurt you the most
THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is a beautiful concept. unicorns too.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. But I would rather be alone with you.
i've fallen in love with you, but you don't exist.
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