cedbuzz's Posts

Viens du côté obscur.

On a du chocolat.

Si tu mets ceux qui brassent de l'air d'un côté, et ceux qui te le pompent de l'autre, t'as la climatisation gratuite!

Reposted from cedbuzz

1996: Stop playing pokemon and go outside.

2016:Stop playing pokemon and come inside.

Reposted from Floki

I think my problem is that I have really fantastic bad ideas.

Reposted from Junglipunjaban

I slept with your mom!
I slept with your mom!
I slept with your mom!

Shut up dad, you're drunk!

Reposted from PlumaaTeam

Luenchen likes this

After reading this post you will realize that the the brain doesn't recognize a second 'the'.

Reposted from Lanelle

Luenchen likes this

In life and travel

Take only what You can carry

Reposted from Fionacatherine

"DO NOT TOUCH"

MUST BE ONE OF THE MOST SCARIEST THINGS TO READ IN BRAILLE..

Reposted from juneocallagh

Babs_77 and Luenchen like this

Autocorrect has not yet learned how much I swear and how little I talk about ducks.

Reposted from anonymous

My therapist told me I was nuts. Or maybe he was just eating nuts.

Squirrels are quite confusing.

Reposted from sosoandso

Luenchen likes this

if you like having sex while listening to music - always choose a live album. that way you'll get an applause every 3 to 4 minutes.

Reposted from anonymous

janem803 and sis like this

BURNE OUT (n. masculin). Testicule épuisé.

Just remembered I'm an adult and had a little panic attack.

Reposted from lottadrama

janem803, Luenchen and ZeepBella like this

Heroes
are normal people with big hearts

Reposted from SunnySarah435

janem803 and Luenchen like this

Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

Reposted from campino

janem803 and campino like this

Time is just a word for a condition we barely understand.

Reposted from Authlander

janem803 and Authlander like this

- Maman?
- Oui?
- Est-ce que je suis adopté?
- Tu crois vraiment que c'est toi qu'on aurait choisi?!

"On the journey to myself
I've been so many people."

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

YESTERDAY
I REALLY WANTED A BURRITO.
TODAY I AM EATING A BURRITO.
FOLLOW YOUR FUCKING DREAMS.

Reposted from delight_ecards

janem803 likes this

When you're good at something, you'll tell everyone. When you're great at something, they'll tell you.

janem803, janeh, mizim, haddock and Luenchen like this

i have never stopped loving you.

not counting those days you had your period,
of course.

Reposted from bjygeronimo

janeh likes this

Real women don't chase men.
They set traps.

Reposted from chipdicks

janeh likes this

Si on parvient à convaincre les Chinois que les couilles des Djihadistes sont aphrodisiaques, dans 10 ans, ils auront disparus...

Je ne crois en rien.
Je ne pardonne rien.

haddock likes this

- Je suis comme l'huile d'olive.
- Grasse?
- Non. Vierge, connard.

THOSE WHO STIR THE SHITPOT SHOULD LICK THE SPOON

Reposted from juneocallagh

janeh likes this

Wednesday
It's almost, kind of, sorta, close to, just about, nearly the weekend.

Reposted from weekender

cedbuzz and janeh like this

You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket... I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

janeh likes this

the bad news is:
time flies...

the good news is:

you are the pilot.

Reposted from Tanascha

janeh likes this

be the kind of gentleman that holds the door
open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.

Reposted from annairie

janeh and annairie like this

I need a glass of wine.
Or a bottle.
Or a winery in Italy.

Reposted from Sunshine123

pasquale85 likes this

I don't believe in guilty pleasures. If you fucking like something,

like it.

Reposted from anonymous

If you ever feel powerless, remember that a single one of your pubic hairs can shut down a whole restaurant.

Reposted from BJcore

Did you know, that 3-4 glasses of wine per day can reduce your risk of giving a shit.

Reposted from anonymous

dor1316, Luenchen and Babs_77 like this

"Selon les statistiques, il y a une personne sur cinq qui est déséquilibrée. S'il y a quatre personne autour de toi et qu'elles te semblent normales, c'est pas bon."

- JCVD

"Ceux qui renoncent sont bien plus nombreux que ceux qui échouent"

- Sénèque

Si tu mets ceux qui brassent de l'air d'un côté, et ceux qui te le pompent de l'autre, t'as la climatisation gratuite!

reposted by cedbuzz

Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can't make coffee...

haddock and satan like this

some of us are so scared of the unknown that we create our own cages

Reposted from anonymous

“Lâcher prise ne signifie pas ne plus jamais se soucier de personne. C'est réaliser plutôt que la seule personne sur laquelle vous avez vraiment contrôle, n'est autre que vous.”

MaScho likes this

« Une start-up, cest un “roller coaster” émotionnel, on peut l'approcher de deux manières : soit tu te fais du mauvais sang et tu te cramponnes à la barre, soit tu te relaxes et tu lèves les bras en l'air. »

haddock likes this

Though I can and I sometimes do use chopsticks,
I much prefer using my hands to pee

Reposted from ErikSmit

ErikSmit likes this

your mind needs as much exercise as your body. thats why I think about jogging every day

Reposted from mikedot

DIFFICULT ROADS
OFTEN LEAD
TO BEAUTIFUL
DESTINATIONS

Reposted from anonymous

_ATOMIC likes this

"I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living."

Steven Spielberg

hebdifescht and Babs_77 like this

"I don't dream at night, I dream all day; I dream for a living."

Steven Spielberg

I do this thing called whatever the fuck I want

Reposted from againandagain

doconzodotcom and Babs_77 like this

I just don't have the energy to shit butterflies and piss rainbows today.

Reposted from Bettydent

Luenchen likes this

JUSQU'
OU
PEUT-ON ALLER
TROP
LOIN?

Babs_77 likes this

THIS IS YOUR LIFE. Do what you love, and do it often. If you don’t like something, change it. If you don’t like your job, quit. If you don’t have enough time, stop watching TV. If you are looking for the love of your life, stop; they will be waiting for you when you start doing things you love. Stop over analyzing, life is simple. All emotions are beautiful. When you eat, appreciate every last bite. Open your mind, arms, and heart to new things and people, we are united in our differences. Ask the next person you see what their passion is, and share your inspiring dream with them. Travel often; getting lost will help you find yourself. Some opportunities only come once; seize them. Life is about the people you meet and the things you create with them, so go out and start creating. Live your dream, and wear your passion. LIFE IS SHORT.

Reposted from arbee

ET PUIS
AU PIRE
ON MEURT.

Luenchen likes this

J'ai jamais vécu la guerre... mais j'ai quand même croisé un paquet de trous de balles!

Never under estimate the power of stupidity.

Reposted from anonymous

Luenchen likes this

“BEING SECOND IS TO BE THE FIRST OF THE ONES WHO LOSE.”

AYRTON SENNA

Reposted from kolko

On s'aperçevra vite que la nuit à la belle étoile est néfaste. La voûte céleste rend insomniaque: trop de beauté, trop de grandeur pour songer à dormir.

On voyage pour changer, non de lieu, mais d'idée...

Dont make me choose between you and food because I would miss you.

Reposted from andreasjess

GaylrdSprFckr, Luenchen and Babs_77 like this

"The size of your dreams must always exceed your current capacity to achieve them. If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough. If you start off with a small dream, you may not have much left when it is fulfilled because along the way, life will task your dreams and make demand on you".

My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family.

They seem like nice people.

Reposted from anonymous

Babs_77 and Luenchen like this

Sometimes you have to destroy something to create something new.

Reposted from gingerly

the lion and tiger might be powerful...
but the wolf does not perform in the circus

Reposted from sputn1k

stanleyfu and Luenchen like this

Reposted from anonymous

Luenchen and kolelo like this

The distance between insanity and genius is measured only by success

Reposted from Babs_77

Babs_77 likes this

"Tout objectif flou conduit irrémédiablement à une connerie précise."

"Tout objectif flou conduit irrémédiablement à une connerie précise."

Babs_77 likes this

I'm not the type of person you should put on speaker phone.

Reposted from no667

Luenchen likes this

Can you imagine parents nowadays explaining to their kids how they met?

"Well, it all started one day when your dad 'liked' one of my selfies."

Reposted from 2schaa

Luenchen, 2schaa, stargater and GaylrdSprFckr like this

my saturday was going pretty well until i realized it was sunday.

Reposted from beesmoove

stargater likes this

It's Thursday, or as I like to call it:

Day 4 of the hostage situation.

Reposted from chipdicks

catsgirl2000 and Bernouxx like this

If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.

Reposted from fart

pasquale85 likes this

On average
I spend about $80 a year to watch bananas turn brown.

Reposted from bold

Babs_77 likes this

I'm stuck in a fortune cookie factory, please send help!

Reposted from avant-garde

Mightychik, ZeepBella, Luenchen and avant-garde like this

quit your job
travel the world
die happy

Reposted from BJcore

Luenchen likes this

I don't do drugs or drink.

At my age, I get the same effect just standing up too fast.

Reposted from est24601

ZeepBella and Luenchen like this

Can february march?

No. But april may

Reposted from Fountainhead

Mightychik and Babs_77 like this

"Vous n'avez pas tué Charlie Hebdo, vous l'avez rendu immortel !!!"

RandomHero1981, Interessant, Luenchen, PenSword72, NukeSkywalker and Babs_77 like this

reposted by Babs_77 and gillianrayner

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

Reposted from est24601

Luenchen likes this

Luenchen likes this

Et dire qu'il y a 2014 ans de cela, à cette heure-ci, Marie devait avoir une ouverture d'environ 6 cm...

Luenchen likes this

Me: I want a magical unicorn for Christmas!

Santa: Be realistic.

Me: OK, I want 5 minutes to myself each day to have my coffee hot and pee in peace.

Santa: What colour unicorn would you like?

Reposted from JodieT

piepa and JodieT like this

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

Reposted from Nanoolsen

ZeepBella and Luenchen like this

what if the best is yet to come and this was only the first part of the run...

Reposted from niniel

It's been almost 3 years since the end of the world in 2012.

Reposted from Jamille

ZeepBella and GaylrdSprFckr like this

And here starts another week without me being rich or famous.

Reposted from chipdicks

ZeepBella likes this

Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

Babs_77 likes this

I tried to be nice, I really did,
but then you opened your mouth.

Reposted from 2schaa

Moon-D, Luenchen, 2schaa and hebdifescht like this

Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous.

I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I'm very disappointed with all of you.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

It's not that I'm tired.

It's just that I don't like standing on my feet with my eyes open.

Reposted from Strava

Reposted from Demetrius

Reposted from Demetrius

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

Reposted from anonymous

Babs_77 likes this

Your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

Reposted from anonymous

I Was Born To Be Awesome, Not Perfect.

Reposted from TeenQuotes

GabiGabler likes this

I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka.

Reposted from Blitzkrieg

NukeSkywalker likes this

Everything will be just great.

dor1316 and Luenchen like this

Carpe
That
Fucking
Diem

dor1316 and Babs_77 like this

You know you are getting old when happy hour is a nap.

Reposted from janineyvette

dor1316 likes this

The blurred picture around the smartphone is called life.

Reposted from FrogLegs

dor1316, misterlab and Luenchen like this

renamed my ipod the Titanic, so when i plug it in, it says "the Titanic is syncing" he he

Reposted from makalapua

makalapua likes this

Just saw a butterfly with a girl tattooed on its lower back.

Reposted from sarcaSM

There's no stronger sunscreen than sitting at the bar.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

The real power of a man is in the size of the smile of the woman sitting next to him .

aehmpaeh likes this

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

Reposted from bold

A VENDRE:
Drapeau belge, perruque (noir jaune rouge), vareuse Witzel et chaussettes de retroviseurs Devos Lemmens.

I love you so much
that I would tell you
if I dropped your toothbrush in the toilet.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker likes this

Dans 80% des cas, les community managers sont aux marques ce que le papier cul est aux constipés.

- Ced

I've never seen a Mcdonalds or a Burger King under construction.

They just show up.

Reposted from iheartcheese

hebdifescht likes this

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

Reposted from swatchUSA

swatchUSA and NukeSkywalker like this

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Dad, you've always been like a father to me.

Reposted from hemko

piepa and NukeSkywalker like this

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

piepa and ccz6ih like this

Here's a tissue, you have a little bullshit on your lip.

Reposted from 2schaa

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

Reposted from soyy

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.

Reposted from Loupi4614

Loupi4614 and topbuzz like this

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

Reposted from freeyomind

Sun goes down earlier for short people.

Reposted from hebdifescht

They should ask us who we are instead of what we want to be.

Reposted from brattbritt

the problem is not being a sheep, the problem is following the wrong shepherd

Reposted from luke

Babs_77 likes this

Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM

Reposted from inesmbandeira

9 months before I was born, I went to this awesome party with my dad, and I left with my mom.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker and Luenchen like this

I like the nights.

Some of my best days were nights.

Reposted from mjf

topbuzz and Luenchen like this

Try to be less of a fucking piece of shit than you were yesterday.

- Buddha

Reposted from satan

satan and Luenchen like this

Explore.
Dream.
Discover.
Believe.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

Right now, somebody is hard at work in a factory, shoving chocolate eggs up a bunny's ass, for you.

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 and topbuzz like this

Never trust a warm toilet seat

Reposted from topbuzz

topbuzz likes this

Do you believe in miracles?

Me neither.

I believe in risks, faith and tequila.

Reposted from MissB

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genious and it's better to be absolutly ridiculous than absolutly boring."

- Marilyn Monroe

Luenchen and Babs_77 like this

Une pensée pour le type qui a dit à sa femme qu'il prenait le vol MH370 "Air Malaysia" et qui est coincé dans l'appart de sa maîtresse depuis... ;-)

On s'fout pas mal du Prince Charmant.
La nuit, c'est le loup qu'on attend.

Condom 99%

The pill 99%

Tennis socks in sandals 100%

Reposted from antonia1

sophh, ZoJ, Babs_77 and aehmpaeh like this

only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, you realize there's a way to solve problems without using violence.

Reposted from anonymous

Did you know that if you put your ear up a strangers leg you can hear them say:
What the fuck are you doing?!?

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

misterlab and Babs_77 like this

$"Et si je passais le reste de mon temps sur pause? Toute une vie entre deux fractions de secondes"...$

Babs_77 likes this

having a vagina doesn't stop me from believing that my balls are bigger than yours.

Reposted from beesmoove

LES FILLES SONT MECHANTES... PERIODIQUEMENT!

LES FILLES C'EST PAS
DES MECS BIEN.

"Je suis sincèrement désolé
si je t'ai blessé en te traitant de con.. J'étais persuadé que tu le savais déjà !!"

IN
GENEPI
WE
TRUST.

the problem is not being a sheep, the problem is following the wrong shepherd

Reposted from luke

misterlab likes this

If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you beacuse you didn't eat him.

Reposted from incitylights

patuljak likes this

Arguing with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon... No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyway.

Babs_77 likes this

I feel lazier than the guy who create the japanese flag...

mjf and stargater like this

Valentine's day: Happy unimaginative, consumerist-oriented and entirely arbitrary, manipulative & shallow interpretation of romance day.

crisoc and mjf like this

Sorry, but your password must contain a capital letter, two numbers,
a symbol, an inspiring message, a spell,
a gang sign,
a hieroglyph and the blood of a virgin.

Reposted from anonymous

"Le meeting! Torture moderne qui consiste à passer quelques heures dans une pièce fermée qui sent le vieux tapis et le café froid, pour débattre, en groupe, de sujets qui ne concernent que deux personnes."

Babs_77 likes this

I hate it when the voices in my head go silent...

I never know what those fuckers are planning...

Reposted from TriniDady

I knocked out a guy who said bacon sucks. No one talks about my friends that way

Reposted from scottluper

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty.
She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.

Reposted from Linneaelvira

bold likes this

My goal for 2014 is to accomplish the goals of 2013 which I should've done in 2012 because I promised them in 2011 and planned in 2010.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

aehmpaeh likes this

A faire ce soir:
Commander une pizza 5 min avant minuit et quand le gars arrive, lui dire "Enfin!? J'avais commandé cette foutue pizza l'année passée!!"
:-p

hebdifescht and Luenchen like this

If you were born in September, it's pretty obvious that your parents started their new year with a bang.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

Luenchen likes this

Reposted from TravelDexter

If a bear is chasing you,
make sure you're faster than your friends •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. likes this

just because it's a bad idea, doesn't mean it's not going to be a good time...

Reposted from makalapua

out of all the lies i've told, 'just kidding!' is my favourite.

Reposted from anonymous

bold likes this

Two beers and a glass of rain please.

Reposted from dAn

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

You're not deep
You're not intelectual
You're not an artist
You're not a poet
You're not a critic
You only have Internet access

I'm one of the nicest assholes you could ever hope to meet.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

sarcaSM likes this

IMAGINE

If trees gave off WiFi
signals, we would be
planting so many trees
and we'd probably
save the planet too!

Too bad they only
produce the oxygen
we breathe.

Reposted from Flockae

piepa and Luenchen like this

i don't need a football game to get drunk and scream at my television.

Reposted from beesmoove

la meilleure preuve d'une intelligence extraterrestre est qu'elle ne soit jamais rentrée en contact avec nous.

Babs_77 likes this

"Le vrai voyageur, c'est celui qui n 'est pas sûr de rentrer".

Paul Bowles

Babs_77 likes this

Beam me up, Scotty
there's no intelligent
life down here.

Captain James T. Kirk

Reposted from anonymous

ZoJ likes this

I may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm someones double vodka!

Reposted from anonymous

Ramadan : Ce que disait Eve pour faire avancer le bateau

Reposted from kolko

The new iPhone will have a finger print scanner. Or, in other words, Apple is about to amass the largest database of biometric data in the world.

I'm sure the people of NSA are dancing like little school girls right now.

Reposted from anonymous

Cédille : Invention stupide créée par un certain Monsieur Duçon

Reposted from kolko

Good things come to those who wait.

Crap.

Reposted from MacMoo

kolarg likes this

it's not about how good you are but how bad you want it.

Babs_77, misterlab and sarcaSM like this

You can kill the dreamer but you can't kill the dream.

Reposted from pixtor

misterlab likes this

You can kill the dreamer but you can't kill the dream.

Reposted from pixtor

If I am ever in a coma and have to be connected to machines to be kept alive, someone please clear my browsing history.

Reposted from mtriggs68

I wanted to start a revolution but general laziness tied me with his evil powers to my chair and forced me to eat ice cream.

Reposted from mandm12

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

Reposted from slavina

Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza...

Reposted from malwal

currently...
I'm fucking busy
-and unfortunately it's not the other way around.

Reposted from chocolat

misterlab likes this

"I don't think I could stab anyone. Let's be honest, I can barely get the straw in the Capri Sun".

Reposted from misterlab

beautifulcammy and piepa like this

give
the
storm
a chance.

Reposted from ohluix

ZoJ likes this

I'M NOT WEIRD,
I'M A LIMITED EDITION.

Babs_77 likes this

When i die i want my tombstone to offer free WiFi so people will visit me more often.

Reposted from naebitnae

piepa likes this

lets have a moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic on their way to the gym to ride stationary bicycles.

Reposted from beesmoove

maybe you just have to live for the small things, like being called pretty or someone picking up the pen you dropped or laughing so hard that your stomach hurts. maybe thats all that really matters at the end of the day.

Reposted from mlke

Ne pas confondre boule de flipper et testicule de dauphin

Reposted from kolko

sleeping
naked burns more
calories

Reposted from Roel

Eating cereal in the shower isn't saving me as much time as I thought.

Reposted from sarcaSM

hebdifescht and sarcaSM like this

if you think women are the weaker sex try pulling the blankets back to your side

Reposted from patrick

Proverbe Jamaïcain:
Si tu ne sais pas quoi faire, ne fais rien.

Babs_77 and Luenchen like this

Proverbe Jamaïcain:
Si tu ne sais pas quoi faire, ne fais rien.

mjf, Babs_77 and Luenchen like this

Proverbe Jamaïcain:
Si tu ne sais pas quoi faire, ne fais rien.

Babs_77 likes this

DO NOT BELIEVE ALL THE THINGS YOU TELL YOURSELF
LATE AT NIGHT.

Reposted from stargater

I jumped on the couch and heard a cracking sound.

Thank God it was only the cat.

Reposted from mandm12

laugh and the world laughs with you,

snore and you sleep alone.

Reposted from pannacotta

stargater, hebdifescht and GaylrdSprFckr like this

everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.

Reposted from kilinasio

Last year I joined a support group for antisocial people. We haven't met yet.

Reposted from anonymous

hebdifescht and kolelo like this

Men: if you ever want to know what a woman's mind feels like,imagine a browser with 2,837 tabs open.

All.The.Time.

Reposted from naebitnae

NSA liked
a post
of yours

Reposted from aehmpaeh

Trying
to
remember
to
forget.

Reposted from anonymous

the first 5
days after
the weekend are always
the hardest.

Reposted from beesmoove

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Reposted from bold

bold and ZoJ like this

"Les réseaux sociaux, c'est le crash test des campagnes".

Eric Hollander, Chairman/Creative Director Air

Babs_77 likes this

Bisexualité :
Optimisation des orifices.

Oedipe: Premier fils de pute.

Babs_77 likes this

Méditer: Rentrer à l'intérieur de soi.

Contraire: Sodomiser.

I really need a day between Saturday and Sunday

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

Luenchen likes this

Opinions are facts marinated in bullshit.

Reposted from loryane

The creative adult is the child who survived.

Reposted from bold

bold likes this

"You can't stop the waves but you can learn to surf."

-J. Goldstein

stargater likes this

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.., brunoclement and Luenchen like this

I'm gonna ignore you so hard you'll start to doubt your own existance.

Reposted from asadansari154

Weekends are like an orgasm.
It takes a lot to get there and when you finally did, it's over in no time...

Reposted from boni

hello weekend, nice to meet you.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

ZoJ and _Nathalie_ like this

"love is the answer.

but while waiting, sex gives you a couple of nice questions."

woody allen

Reposted from lilymarlen

You can't make everyone happy.

So just concentrate
on me.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY
AND MAYBE
A LITTLE BIT NAKED.

Reposted from cococaro

If "Plan A" didn't work, stay cool. The Alphabet has 25 more letters.

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

stargater likes this

Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

At every party there are two kinds of people: those who want to go home and those who don’t. The trouble is, they are usually married to each other.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

The synonym for reality is offline.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ and bold like this

you ever feel about as useful as

the number nine on a microwave?

Reposted from spoon

took a nude photo of myself. with the lights off.

you're welcome.

Reposted from t_treeman

Patient: "How much longer do I have doc?"
Doctor: "Ten."
Patient: "Ten what?"
Doctor: "Nine..."
(Will Ferrel)

Opinions are facts marinated in bullshit.

Reposted from loryane

Imagine the horror of a deaf person learning that farts make sound...

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

stop bullshitting or go to twitter.

Reposted from beesmoove

so many rules

so little time to break them

Reposted from _Nathalie_

Luenchen and _Nathalie_ like this

A man asked a fairy to make him desirable and irresistible to all women.

She turned him into a credit card.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

Pizza: round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box...

Reposted from _Nathalie_

ZoJ and _Nathalie_ like this

Everytime
you speak,
I feel my
brain cells committing suicide
one by
one •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Luenchen likes this

9 months before I was born, I went to this awesome party with my dad, and I left with my mom.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

stargater, NukeSkywalker and piepa like this

Life
is not
measured
by how many
years we have lived..
but by how many unforgettable memories we
made along
the way •

Reposted from Lirpae..

I live in fear of accidentally hearing a Justin Bieber song and liking it.

Reposted from hemko

hemko likes this

caffeine is bad for you, sugar is bad for you, alcohol is bad for you, but don't worry, cause that's bad for you too.

Reposted from permanentwaves

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

I'd like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Reposted from hemko

hemko likes this

I'd like to offer moral support, but I have questionable morals.

Reposted from hemko

hemko likes this

hipsters don't say "LOL" they say "LSIMHBIWFEFMTALOL"

(Laughing silently in my head because it wasn't funny enough for me to actually laugh out loud)

Reposted from anonymous

"Lorsque tout semble aller contre vous, souvenez-vous que les avions décollent toujours face au vent".

- Henry Ford

We all are
a little
broken.

& that's
okay.

MyM and mayabzbz like this

reposted by laurent

what's the difference between a homeless guy and a hipster?

-the iPhone

Reposted from anonymous

ZoJ likes this

It only takes a second to show someone how you feel about them-

The police call it indecent exposure, but whatever...

Reposted from anonymous

"Marketing is too important to be left to the marketing department !"

- David Packard

“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I am not interested in your feedback.”

- Brené Brown

SEX, HUGS
AND SOCKS
WITH HOLES

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

sophh, ZoJ and NukeSkywalker like this

If women ruled this world, there would be no wars.

Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

Reposted from satan

kolelo likes this

I don't care if you think I'm insane.

The unicorn who visits me in the night time says
I don't and
I believe him.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

Love is louder than the pressure to be perfect

Reposted from abbeyneacole12

GO
HUG
YOURSELF

Reposted from sarcaSM

KenTon and kolelo like this

Vous connaissez la différence entre un poney et une majorette?
La majorette a un neurone de plus qui l'empêche de chier sur la route.

- Xa, my brother

dear customer service,

first of all you should know that i am typing this with my middle finger.

Reposted from anonymous

kolelo likes this

IDIOTITIS:

A disease which causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands are affected. Might be contagious.

Best defense:
Slap and run!

Reposted from Lirpae..

kolelo and GaylrdSprFckr like this

Life is NOT like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos - what you do today, might burn your ass tomorrow.

Reposted from bold

stargater and kolelo like this

I'm sorry, what language are you speaking?

It sounds like bullshit.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

kolelo likes this

I love my toilet. We've been through a lot of shit together.

Reposted from TriniDady

kolelo likes this

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

KenTon, kolelo and _Nathalie_ like this

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself...

and spiders...
FUCK SPIDERS!!!

Reposted from swisscub

kolelo likes this

Don't read the next sentence.

You little rebel...I like you!

Reposted from anonymous

kolelo likes this

Intelligence
is like an underwear..
It is important
that you have it,
but not necessary that you show it off •

Reposted from Lirpae..

kolelo likes this

You can't buy happiness - but you can buy drinks and that's pretty close.

Reposted from Boldomatic

pistacho and kolelo like this

color of your pants
+
the last thing you ate
=
your band name

Reposted from svenZ

I'm not ignoring your calls. I just enjoy my ringtone.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

IDIOTITIS:

A disease which causes the brain to shut down and the mouth to keep talking. Thousands are affected. Might be contagious.

Best defense:
Slap and run!

Reposted from Lirpae..

I turned my phone on airplane mode and threw it into the air...worst transformer ever...

Reposted from _Nathalie_

kolelo and _Nathalie_ like this

Of course your opinion matters,

Just not to me.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

_Nathalie_ likes this

Life is like a camera. Just focus on what's important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don't turn out - take another shot.

Reposted from anonymous

KenTon, kolelo and kj55 like this

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

Reposted from bold

KenTon, kolelo and ZoJ like this

Le cannabis serait nocif pour la mémoire. On dira ce que l'on voudra, mais bon, tant qu'il n'est pas nocif pour la mémoire, ça va.

kolelo and piepa like this

Bruxelles est à la mobilité ce que la mycose est au pied...

I just took a hot shower. It's like a normal shower, but with me in it.

Reposted from anonymous

kj55 and kolelo like this

Do not have unprotected
text.

Reposted from JoiJetson

i play the keyboard in a band called the internet

Reposted from dona94

brunoclement likes this

CED'S RULES FOR TODAY.
Wake up smiling.
Soak up the sun.
Build sand castles.
Cath the waves.
Eat some seafood.
Take long walks.
Enjoy the ocean breeze.
Look for shells.
Flip Flop mandatory.
Nap daily.
Have fun.

I'm
the
after
party!

BEAUTIFUL THINGS HAPPEN WHEN YOU DISTANCE YOURSELF FROM

THE NEGATIVE SHIT

Reposted from wrdbnr

brunoclement likes this

Multitasking:
Screwing up several things at once.

sarcaSM likes this

BE YOURSELF is about the worst advice you can give some people.

KenTon, brunoclement and kolelo like this

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

And I think to myself...

Reposted from Boldomatic

bold, sarcaSM and kolelo like this

Let's do the rabbit thing.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

The
only thing stronger than a mother's love is a
garlic breath •

Reposted from Lirpae..

kolelo likes this

others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed

Reposted from anonymous

kolelo likes this

The best things in life are wild & free.

Superrnova, vanness, littlethings, sarcaSM and kolelo like this

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

ZoJ and _Nathalie_ like this

LISTEN TO SILENCE

Reposted from sarcaSM

guido likes this

justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.

Reposted from etcpp

guido and hebdifescht like this

optimists claim that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.

pessimists are scared that might be true.

Reposted from ernstrose

cedbuzz and guido like this

I tried sniffing coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose •

Reposted from anonymous

EVERYONE'S IRISH ON MARCH 17th

Reposted from Boldomatic

On ne grossit pas!!!!... On augmente sa surface de caresses!!...

I WANT TO HAVE TEXT WITH YOU.

Reposted from bold

kolelo likes this

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.

Reposted from nelis

sarcaSM likes this

FLY LIKE AN EAGLE.

FUCK LIKE A RABBIT.

Reposted from Claudio

brunoclement likes this

Get the kind of Friday you deserve.

Reposted from bold

I'm an idealist.
I don't know where I'm going but I'm on my way.

Reposted from sarcaSM

Krisargent, Mightychik, sarcaSM, Luenchen and kolelo like this

i remember when music cost money and water was free.

Reposted from BryanFischer

kolelo, pasquale85 and svenZ like this

"Content isn't king. If i sent you to a desert island and gave you the choice of taking your friends or your movies, you'd choose your friends - if you chose the movies, we'd call you a sociopath. Conversation is king. Content is just something to talk about."

- Cory Doctorow

hemko, inspired and hebdifescht like this

Pour cette après-midi, Bruxelles Propreté annonce un ramassage spécial de sacs poubelles bleus verts et rouges entre la gare du nord et gare du midi, tout doit partir !

Reposted from kolko

kolelo likes this

TEAM SPIRIT:
Comment donnes-tu envie aux gens de faire AVEC toi et pas CONTRE toi (coopération plutôt que compétition)?

My favourite thing about this sentence is that by the time you realise it's not going anywhere, you've already read it.

Reposted from ianboughey

If you think it's expensive to hire a professional, wait until you hire an amateur.

Superrnova, Authlander, hemko, kolelo, pasquale85, bold and Luenchen like this

don't give up on your dreams.

keep sleeping.

Reposted from Sonndich

brunoclement likes this

You drink too much.
You swear too much.
You have no morals.

You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend!

Reposted from satan

satan and bold like this

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

Reposted from RulesOfLife

RulesOfLife likes this

Don't add winky face emoticons to anything unless you want me to take it sexually.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

pasquale85 likes this

Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

HAVING EYE CONTACT FOR MORE THAN 6 SECONDS WITHOUT LOOKING AWAY OR BLINKING REVEALS A DESIRE FOR EITHER SEX OR MURDER.

KenTon and mayabzbz like this

Weekends are like an orgasm.
It takes a lot to get there and when you finally did, it's over in no time...

Reposted from boni

bold likes this

DONE IS BETTER THAN PERFECT

Reposted from Boldomatic

KenTon, brunoclement and kolelo like this

I'll have a café mocha vodka valium latte to go please.

Reposted from Boldomatic

cedbuzz likes this

TOMORROW

a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored

Reposted from svenZ

Wednesdays are the middle finger of the week.

Reposted from leslucas

Stress is caused by giving a fuck.

Superrnova, Mightychik, RandomHero1981, riles and sonya94565 like this

reposted by yourijesse

Some days, the best thing about my job is that the chair spins.

Reposted from Boldomatic

resolution 2013

uninstall ignorance
install curiosity

Reposted from anonymous

When I die,
I want to be thrown out of a plane wearing a Superman costume.

Reposted from bold

pistacho likes this

men at
25 play football.
man at
40 play tennis.
man at
60 play golf.

have you noticed that as you get older your balls get smaller?

Reposted from beesmoove

I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says "Haha, good one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap. ;-)

kolelo likes this

COLLECT MOMENTS / NOT THINGS

kolelo likes this

When a pregnancy test confirms your worst fear: You're just fat.

Reposted from leslucas

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

i'm trying to get in to the christmas spirit but the damn bottle won't open.

Reposted from beesmoove

kolelo likes this

"One day, I'll fly away"

GripFast likes this

Lundi, je vais fêter mes 1.262.044.800 secondes de vie...
Chouette, encore une bûche avec des bougies... ;-)

Si quelquefois tu te sens petit, inutile, démoralisé ou dépressif, n'oublie jamais que tu as été un jour le plus rapide et le meilleur spermatozoïde de ta bande...

Babs_77, ludiluddha and hebdifescht like this

reposted by ludiluddha

You're just jealous, because the voices only talk to me!

janem803, Superrnova, MyM, topbuzz, mengia, littlethings, cyzeah, sabrinag, Luenchen, kolelo and 3 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, Nina-Aliyah, temia30, sunshyne, sendrim, kedicat, Katla, elo_dit_, cutecurly, kolelo and 3 others

I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.

Superrnova, Mightychik, riles, hemko, _Nathalie_ and satan like this

COURAGE IS CONTAGIOUS

IGNORANCE IS PANDEMIC

Reposted from anonymous

"Tourner en rond est le moyen le plus sûr pour revenir à son point de départ".

Sven likes this

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poke me in the ribs and cackle, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Reposted from shafaagh

satan likes this

If idiots could fly, this place would be an airport!

I miss my pre-internet brain...

MyM, annairie, swatchUSA, Moon-D, RandomHero1981, dor1316, riles, kj55, Erdmannlibob, begrian and 6 others like this

reposted by hebdifescht, SimoKochi, TravelDexter, guggigirl, johannes, johannes, kolelo, hebdifescht, dor1316 and visorvice

Que les puces d'un millier de chiens galeux infestent le cul de celui qui te gâchera une seule seconde de l'année 2013 et que les bras de cet abruti deviennent trop court pour qu'ils ne puissent se gratter!

littlethings likes this

WARNING!!
In a few days it's 21/12/12.
Aliens will come down to earth to kidnap smart, beautiful and strong people.
So you're safe!
I send you this message just to say goodbye!

satan and hebdifescht like this

ATTENTION!!!
Dans quelques jours, c'est le 21/12/2012.
Les extra-terrestres descendront vers la terre pour kidnapper les gens intelligents, beaux et forts.
Vous êtes donc en sécurité!!
Je vous envoie ce message simplement pour vous dire adieu...

"If you are always trying to be normal, you will never know how amazing you can be".

janem803, MyM, riles, mjf, ly_liu, annaz, onyxside, satan and hebdifescht like this

WE DO NOT SEE THINGS AS THEY ARE, WE SEE THINGS AS WE ARE.

satan likes this

"Rire de l'anus de son voisin n'est pas un crime, mais convier toute sa famille à le faire est inadmissible."

mjf likes this

"Si mon chien avait ta tronche, je lui ferais raser le cul et marcher à reculons."

hebdifescht and bold like this

Cuisinella est au buzz ce que la Grèce est à l'Europe.

if you don't have dreams, you have nightmares.

ly_liu, hebdifescht, kolelo, GaylrdSprFckr, satan and bold like this

reposted by satan