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topbuzz

Never trust a warm toilet seat

59

If you look like your passport photo, the likelihood is that you need the holiday

35

The speed at which a woman says "nothing" when asked "whats wrong" is inversely proportional to the severity of the shitstorm coming your way

38

My Church offers no absolution

12

My wife doesn't like it when I sneak up on her...

...and according to the Judge, she also hates being called "my wife"

26

The other day someone told me you can make ice cubes from leftover wine. I was confused........ whats leftover wine?

15

When a woman says "what?". It's not because she didn't hear you. She's giving you another chance to change what you said

20

You can only say WTF so many times a day until you just decide to start drinking

I'm nearly there

14

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