sweswiss's Posts

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me

than a frontal lobotomy

#relationshit

DygytAlice, UserOne, SimonLauper, melissadesyr, guggigirl and shespeaks94 like this

reposted by UserOne

this ain't no party,

this ain't no disco,

this ain't no foolin' around

#relationshit

guggigirl and Luenchen like this

Let's get drunk
and tell each other how
we really feel •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Alcohol is fun

-

Rehab is for quitters

UserOne, aguiladescalza and guggigirl like this

I recommend vodka

There is a good chance that I'm going to need one of your kidneys someday....

I thought I ordered the Happy Meal but there is nothing happy about it and not much of a meal either.

guggigirl likes this

A big cock is a small comfort for a poor family

prubton, SourceBlack, Blackjackuar, Ziya, Lirpae.. and guggigirl like this

reposted by Ziya

It is easier to spend a lot of money compared to save a little bit

Lirpae.. and Babs_77 like this

If you ask, you might get a "Yes"

PenSword72 and guggigirl like this

Just because you are a pig does not mean you have to smell like one

sweswiss likes this

Even a broken clock is right twice a day...

More than I can say about you

PenSword72, Babs_77 and Luenchen like this

Logg off, that "cookies" shit makes me nervous

#nsa

bold likes this

An old Italian saying:
"You fuck up once, you lose two teeth"

#sopranos

Babs_77 and Lirpae.. like this

N o
S urvellance
A llowed

Babs_77 and Lirpae.. like this

If you can quote the rules, you can obey them

UserOne, Babs_77 and Lirpae.. like this

suckme and fuckme are in a house. suckme leave the house. who is left in the house?

UserOne likes this

one thing you do not want to hear from your airline pilot:
"dear passengers, it' time to panic"

Lirpae.. likes this

Minds are like parachutes:

They function better when they are open

PenSword72, soene, Babs_77, SimonLauper, Lirpae.., guggigirl and NukeSkywalker like this

cooking thai street food for friends with a glass of chilled Swiss white wine. can life be better?
Yes, a shot of chilled absolute vodka...
Now life is perfect

GaylrdSprFckr, Lirpae.., Luenchen and guggigirl like this

Swedish cure for Swiss grappa hangover:
Chilled Absolut Vodka!
My life is slowly returning to normal

_Nathalie_, Babs_77, guggigirl, SimonLauper, annabanan, Luenchen and gustisch like this

I cannot remember experiement 1 & 2...

aehmpaeh likes this

Experiement no 3 Conlusion:
Grappa give you as bad hangover as vodka...

aehmpaeh, Luenchen and guggigirl like this

I just began to figure out my smartphone...
Then along came tablets...
I'm going hitech crazy

Lirpae.. and tweetybird like this

1993:
On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog

2013:
On the internet, everybody knows you're a dog

_Nathalie_, Babs_77, Lirpae.. and tweetybird like this

A man is not where he lives, but where he loves.
I'm home - were are you?

mjf, _Nathalie_, kj55, guggigirl and Lirpae.. like this

You call it love,
I call it madness:
Same same but different

mjf, kj55, Babs_77 and Lirpae.. like this

MBA = Married but available

aehmpaeh, guggigirl, Lirpae.., kj55 and tweetybird like this

"He who asks is an idiot for 5 minutes, but he who does not ask remains a idiot forever."
(Chinese proverb)

janem803, PenSword72, perellano, soene, guggigirl, ga_reb, Lirpae.., kj55 and tweetybird like this

Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt!

kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

The problem with stupid people is that they have no idea how stupid they are

UserOne, kj55, Babs_77, Lirpae.. and guggigirl like this

Good moms let you lick the whisks...
Great moms turn them off first

UserOne, kj55, Babs_77, Lirpae.. and soene like this

On my way to make USA Bold

pasquale85, kj55, Lirpae.. and Luenchen like this

same
shit,
different day

janem803 likes this

I lost my Bold but I am back for some more

hemko, Lirpae.., guggigirl and kj55 like this

Just woke up and realised that Absolut Vodka stole my memories from last night! I'm gonna sue the bastards for stealing & fucking with my life

shespeaks94, kj55, claudia, guggigirl, bold, Lirpae.., tweetybird and guido like this

Just woke up and realized that someone stole an hour of my life.
If you find it, pls bold me

kj55, sera_la_dera, Lirpae.., Luenchen and tweetybird like this

Why is it that when you shout "Aaaaaagh" in a library, everyone stares at you and go "shs" but when you do the same thing in a plane, everyone shouts the same thing?

UserOne, kj55, Lirpae.. and tweetybird like this

Don't fall asleep angry, stay awake and plot your revenge

aguiladescalza, kj55, bold, Lirpae.. and tweetybird like this

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

UserOne, JodieT, royalstudio, whatley, robert2408, tweetybird, kj55, etcpp, _Nathalie_, soene and 3 others like this

reposted by bold, nelkoria and llamabat

I see dead people

Oh! I forgot, its Easter

UserOne, MissVissch, claudia, guggigirl, bold, satan, _Nathalie_ and Lirpae.. like this

When I see you I believe in Hell until you leave

mjf, hemko, tweetybird, kj55, Sven and Lirpae.. like this

In Sweden we have Easter Witches.
In Switcerland we have Easter Bunnies.
Why can't I have a Bitchin' Bunny for Easter?

prubton, tweetybird, Samwell, satan, _Nathalie_, sweswiss, Sven, Lirpae.., pasquale85 and Luenchen like this

Never understood why a Bunny is bringing eggs - is this some sort of strange mutation God's sick sense of humour to confuse the kids?

Sunshine123, soene, sweswiss, kj55, annabanan and Lirpae.. like this

Sorry kids but the Easter Bunny froze to death today so no chocolate eggs

UserOne, pure74, sweswiss, kj55, Lirpae.. and Luenchen like this

The problem with some people is that they are breathing... especially you

Lirpae.. and kj55 like this

When I'm bored, I stand in line at an ATM machine and when the person in front of me enter his PIN code, I yell "GOT IT" and run

UserOne, tweetybird, Lirpae.. and Luenchen like this

What happens to the guidedog when a blind man bungy jump?

UserOne, hemko, Lirpae.. and Luan977 like this

that awkward moment when you notice that someones zipper is down but you don't want to say anything because you don't have a good excuse for why you were looking that low

guggigirl, soene, Lirpae.., Luan977 and Luenchen like this

People like you are the reason why People like me drink loads of alcohol - every day of the week

UserOne, aguiladescalza, tweetybird, _Nathalie_, Lirpae.. and Luenchen like this

Peanuts should be forbidden, at least in combination with alcohol and weekends!

Junomea, Lirpae.., A.M. and Luenchen like this

Why is it always the last peanut you eat on a Saturday evening that makes you puke your gut out on a Sunday morning?

nichola_gray and Lirpae.. like this

bisexuality =
100% market penetration during the weekend

hebdifescht and mwmax like this

You know, they got a luggage store in the airport? A place to buy luggage.
How late do you have to be for a flight where you're like
"Fuck it - just grap a pile of clothes and shit. We'll get a bag at the airport".

UserOne, tweetybird, soene, guido, bold and Lirpae.. like this

I saw a woman wearing a t-shirt with "GUESS" on it...
so I said "Implants?"

UserOne, guggigirl, aguiladescalza, pixtor, mwmax, Lirpae.. and kj55 like this

I love you more today than yesterday. Yesterday you really pissed me off!

UserOne, aguiladescalza, mwmax, _Nathalie_ and kj55 like this

Santa saw your bold posts.

Your getting a dictionary for this Christmas

Tnx Zanta / sweswiss

Translated:
There is no cow on the ice i.e.
There is nothing to worry about (a cow walking on ice can only end with something bad)

kj55 likes this

Det finns ingen ko på isen
(an old south swedish saying)

belolis, kj55 and sweswiss like this

Don't feel bad.
A lot of people have no talent

pasquale85 and kj55 like this

Seriously I tried to behave but there were too many other options

UserOne, ernstrose, Pumuckel and kj55 like this

Because you never know what can happen on the way to your final destination

UserOne, kj55, pasquale85, Lirpae.. and bold like this

And why doe suicide bombers have life insurance?

Reposted from sweswiss

And why doe suicide bombers have life insurance?

kj55, A.M., Luenchen and Lirpae.. like this

reposted by sweswiss

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

UserOne, kkim, kj55 and sweswiss like this

Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed & dumped all these stupid people,
but they apparently are not coming back for them

UserOne, ernstrose, kj55, sera_la_dera, Lirpae.. and sweswiss like this

I'm rather rich & sick than poor & healthy

mjf, Lirpae.. and kj55 like this

duty
free
swe swiss

hemko likes this

Discover the flavours of sweswiss

Lirpae.. and kj55 like this

Latin; Soo
Cool

Lirpae.., kj55 and sweswiss like this

Latin; Soo Cool

sweswiss has spoken and that settles the matter

sweswiss, Lirpae.. and kj55 like this

sweswiss locuta causa finite
est

I don't have a problem with alcohol....
But I have a problem without....

n.schi and kj55 like this

I don't want everything. Just what is mine and all that is next to it.

kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

I don't question authority...I am authority

UserOne, Lirpae.., kj55 and bold like this

Enough talk about me! What do you think about of me?

mjf, tweetybird, kj55, guido and pasquale85 like this

Don't confuse my solution with the "only solution"

soene, kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

Stupidity = doing the same thing over & over again expecting a different outcome

Sven, kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

I can be charming when I don't think about killing you

soyy, kj55 and guido like this

So you do not like me - that is OK! Just remember, there are people who do not like you!

kj55 and Lirpae.. like this

When someone tells me that everything happens for reason I want to punch him in the face & say "Yeah, I guess you are right"

ItsNotMeBlog, UserOne, kj55, Ash1297 and 27thAvenue like this

I wish my hangover was a day before rather than the day after

kj55 and bold like this

Twitter is for people who can't shut up - even when they are alone

peo_w, ernstrose, Samwell, kj55, 27thAvenue, sweswiss and ninjaliciou5 like this

i love it how my middle finger always get an errection whenever you are around.

Reposted from anonymous

kj55, sweswiss, Ash1297 and maudapena like this