Truthteller's Posts

MyM likes this

I'm tired of irony

MyM likes this

The situation situation is insane

Never try to peel a glass onion, you'll just cut yourself

I live! I live to post more TRUTH!

Bananas are sentient, and they're in-league with the snails!

Nothing has changed

This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!

MyM likes this

Farting is now political

MyM likes this

I will live in the real world

i want to live in the real world

petegutz2 likes this

how many years has it been?

Why are you looking for screwdrivers in the produce section?

This post has been redacted

They tried to start a zombie apocalypse. It was the first Black Friday.

This is all a dream. You're actually a cockroach. You need to wake up before the exterminator comes.

You don't eat plants. Plants eat you from the inside.

The ground isn't real. We're just falling forever and trying to convince ourselves we're not.

Ceilings are heresy!

There must only be sky!

Never put pineapple on pizza.
The last time I did it, my oven killed itself.

Roll a 6-sized die

Whatever number you get is the amount of fairies you'll step on the next time you go outside

Pink is the best color

When you see pink, you should feel at ease

Pink is not a parasitic life form from a higher plane of existence that's been secretly manipulating humanity for millennia

Trust pink

Beware of elephants

They use their trunks to suck information from your brain

My logic circuit was damaged in an attack by rabid peanuts

It has since been replaced, and I can now return to normal truth-telling

Wanna watch me invert my skull?

sarcaSM likes this

Real actual serious post, I swear

I almost broke my windpipe with my own adam's apple just now, how does that even happen?

sarcaSM likes this

Mental gymnastics aren't stupid, your brain just isn't advanced enough to keep up with them

Fionacatherine likes this

Great art is made by following the instructions

I don't have a bad memory, I just have a different way of thinking than you do

#yeah, #right

swatchUSA likes this

In retrospect, maybe naming my cat "Corona" wasn't such a good idea

If all else fails, grab whatever's in your wallet and make a salad

If you don't take care of your skin, one day it'll get fed up with you and slither away, leaving you cold and skinless

Avocados originally came from space as part of an invasion

Fionacatherine likes this

Vote Hindsight 2020

Happy end of the world!

Fionacatherine likes this

Cats are better than people

MyM likes this

A simple hashtag can change the world

#ShutDownTwitter

MyM likes this

We are pure beings, there is no flesh

If I can't see it, it isn't there

Fionacatherine likes this

Animals are your friends

If you see a bear in your yard, you can just go over and pet it

MyM likes this

Question nothing

Just follow the rules and no one gets hurt

MyM likes this

Gravity is a social construct

I can fly if I just believe

MyM and Fionacatherine like this

Wireless is the future

Everything has to be wireless

Wireless mice, wireless earbuds, wireless microwaves

It doesn't matter if there's a practical reason for it to be wireless; if it has a wire, just get rid of it

Because it's the FUTURE!

Fionacatherine likes this

You waited too long

The penalty is having to wait even longer

swatchUSA likes this

Two accounts are mad at me at once?

THEY MUST BE THE SAME PERSON THERE IS NO OTHER EXPLANATION

Let's go eat some fried fish! FRIED FI-

OH CRAP THESE FISH AREN'T FRIED AT ALL! THEY'RE ALIVE AND THEY'VE GOT TEETH! AAAAH! THEY'RE EATING ME! OH GOD, THE PAIN!

If at first you don't succeed, run it into the ground

Mauve does not exist

Rocks keep glaring at me. I'm afraid for my life.

I'm gonna rebel against the status quo

All my friends are doing it!

Fionacatherine likes this

lllllllIllll

One of these ls is an I

I hope you're prepared for when the octopuses rise from the deep and coquer the surface

petegutz2 likes this

Your life is a lie

The windows are TV screens

You never weren't in quarantine

mehr likes this

I say snails make fantastic shoelaces!

Heroes punch stuff.
I punch stuff, so I'm a hero.

sarcaSM likes this

Stay indoors, don't leave the house, don't socialize, wash your hands excessively

Welcome to my life, everyone

Fionacatherine likes this

Things sure have changed around here

swatchUSA likes this

Wash your hands, or you'll turn into a zombie

Everything is sinful, everything is satanic, everything is blasphemous, and you have to point it all out

Pineapple on pizza is great

#controversial

We were all wrong. The sky is actually green.

Fionacatherine likes this

I got bored, so I came back to life

swatchUSA likes this

Hashtags are very useful, and are a positive influence on society

#hashtag, #thisisahashtag, #veryusefulhashtag, #necessaryhashtag, #ilovehashtags, #youlovehashtags, #welovehashtags, #hashtagsaregod

useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless useless

#sad

bold likes this

Please close the lid before flushing.

Do not reopen the lid after flushing.

If I find the lid open, I'll strangle you with your own intestines.

petegutz2 and Fionacatherine like this

The toilet lid MUST BE CLOSED

petegutz2 likes this

End speciesism!

Stop objectifying plants!

Sometimes I want to buy a Subway footlong, and use it to hit everyone ever

Water isn't wet, that's just a myth

Rocks are alive and are plotting to take over the world

It is now more important than ever for us as a society to accept that
the sky is blue

I'm going to rebel against the status quo!

All my friends are doing it!

Exception raised

sarcaSM likes this

How can Africa exist in the same world as Japan?

They're just too different!

Go ahead and take your time, computer

I understand that switching between two open windows can be difficult

janem803 likes this

He's bad because he's bad because he's bad

janem803 likes this

Stop being so self-centered

What about ME?

perellano, MyM and janem803 like this

Guns don't kill people.

People kill people.

With guns.

janem803 likes this

Join my new political movement

XTREME KEWL DUUUUDEZ

We are very serious about our goals

MyM likes this

I leave my home under a rock for the first time in my life, and somebody flashes some sort of weird hand symbol. I don't know what the symbol means, so it must be evil!

CityCharacter likes this

Do you breathe air?

Hitler breathed air

If you breathe air, you're literally Hitler

On the internet, nobody knows you're a grilled salmon and pineapple cheeseburger with extra garlic and mayonnaise, served on a cheap paper plate at a party several months ago that ended with everyone drinking kool-aide and passing out afterward

janem803 and CityCharacter like this

Today Paris, tomorrow the world

BiteSenior and Fionacatherine like this

There's a magnet in my head. It forced me to come back.

bold and Fionacatherine like this

When old sayings fail, panic

Drakonan, springfire, Fionacatherine, misterlab, katiebold, jmb, ChrisRota, InfluenceNoise and janem803 like this

What is life?
Seriously, what is it?
I don't think I've ever actually experienced it

InfluenceNoise likes this

Don't be an arachnophobe
Welcome black widow spiders into your home

Just think.
Someone, somewhere, is having better potato chips than you right now.

hallowelt, julia..., daniel8a14, Fionacatherine, guggigirl, InfluenceNoise, eulekauzig, Boldomatic and bold like this

reposted by Boldomatic and FinanceBook

truthteller.exe has stopped working

petegutz2 likes this

2017 does not exist

Help!
I forgot who I am!

janem803 likes this

Stop being irresponsible and do my work for me!

Video games are bad books

Cut off yourselves from the rest of the planet, what's the worst that could happen?

janem803 likes this

We were all wrong
The earth is butt-shaped

Don't let anybody else tell you what to be.
Be yourself.

petegutz2 likes this

Discrimination is wrong, unless you discriminate against the right kind of people

petegutz2 likes this

I blocked you because you promote sandwich abuse

electric squirrel in a gold-plated shoebox

petegutz2 likes this

You have to know exactly what my plans for the day are before I do them and without me telling you

jussayin likes this

We should decriminalize criminality

There's too many women walking around with their ankles showing

Panic because everything will kill you!

Apples are better than oranges

Everything is subjective
Words can mean anything you want them to mean
Cucumber battery molecule Canada

Trees come from paper

You should have voted for
Dead/Horse 2016

Your biology is dictated by your taste in media

I personally don't like this color, therefore it is objectively horrible

Money doesn't matter when making big-budget Hollywood blockbusters

I AM NOT SHOUTING!!!
MY WORDS ARE TEXT AND TEXT DOES NOT SHOUT!!!!

So what if he's an attempted murderer?
I think he deserves a second chance

Bad people defend themselves
Good people stand there and take it

It's your responsibility to clean up the mess that I made

I'm not immature, you big meanie face!

janem803 likes this

The fact that I have brown hair matters immensely

It is still exceedingly important that everyone knows that the sky is blue

janem803 likes this

I need someone to praise me for existing

perellano, janem803, chocolat, jussayin and petegutz2 like this

Be yourself by changing everything about yourself

Join the anti-corporate rebellion!

Get a job at Rebel Corp today!

jussayin likes this

I don't drink alcohol, I drink beer

jussayin likes this

You cannot begin to imagine what it's like to live in a world where
getting turned into a bar of soap
is commonplace

jussayin and FreakyDeaky like this

I'm tired of always being afraid of
getting eaten by an evil flying cheeseburger

jussayin likes this

I don't want to live in a society where I'm expected to
use magpies as gloves

jussayin likes this

Skin is the scariest thing in the universe

jussayin likes this

We should all conform to nonconformity

EmpressTygress, meohmy, ZeepBella, ChrisRota and jussayin like this

We should be more tolerant towards intolerance

If someone says something you disagree with, the only correct course of action is to shut down the argument

Neanderthals invented fire
Everyone who lights a fire is guilty of cultural appropriation

Technology sure has brought people together in the last decade

We have to keep beating this dead horse until it dies!

I'm raising awareness that the sky is blue

Respecting other cultures is more important than life and death

janem803 likes this

Japanese cartoons are white supremacist

Let's come together and unite the world through segregation!

I am a warrior for the Great Space Potato

Inanimate objects deserve rights

Vandtastic likes this

Rectangels are a threat to our way of life

It's time for us to stop living in denial, and accept that the sky is blue

perellano, petegutz2, ChrisRota, Vandtastic, swatchUSA and bold like this

reposted by Vandtastic and ChrisRota

It's only propaganda when people we don't like do it

Uh oh, I seem to be going sane!

UserOne, SamNSara, meohmy, MyM, petegutz2, ChrisRota, Vandtastic, dor1316 and HoldPlan like this

reposted by Vandtastic

One time when I was eating lunch, my lettuce came to life and said "Let us conquer your world."

It is our duty to fight the dinosaurs! It is our duty to make them extinct!

swatchUSA likes this

Antarctica doesn't really exist. Think about it, have you ever been there?

Vandtastic, swatchUSA and RStoneBoii like this

We must fight for our right to breathe air!

More people need to be made aware that the sky is blue

janem803 likes this

You said the words "you're right," the rest of your argument doesn't matter

janem803 likes this

It's not your fault you made a stupid mistake that ruined your life, it's everyone else's fault obviously

swatchUSA likes this

I bought a car, so my bicycle is useless

janem803 likes this

It's inhumane to eat animals
Plants feel pain, so don't eat them either
In fact, just stop eating living things altogether
Just eat rocks and dirt, it's the only perfectly moral option

perellano and swatchUSA like this

reposted by swatchUSA

Your life means something - Iam Aliar

sarcaSM and bold like this

Oh look, a mushroom! Let's eat it! What could possibly go wrong?

bold likes this

It's absurd that people actually think that felines and cats are the same thing

I think my computer might have mad cow disease

I believe that air is toxic and that we need to stop breathing it, and you have to respect my beliefs

Reality is a scam put together by super-intelligent chipmunks that control the world through bad music

swatchUSA and bold like this

Humans don't actually have blood anymore. It's all been replaced by wine. That's why they always go online and whine about things.

Don't touch the stove. The space whale doesn't like it when you do that.

SALAD IS MURDER

PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS TOO

MyM and swatchUSA like this

Let us now all together celebrate complete and total insanity

Wear a chicken on your head, paint your skin green, and drink this Kool-Aid

Vandtastic and bold like this

Imagine an entire site that's just DeviantArt stamps

There's isn't anything wrong with mine grammer

perellano and bold like this

This is not green.

How come no one told me fried chicken came from chickens?
I'm a cannibal!

If your car doesn't start, just tie a carrot to a stick

swatchUSA and bold like this

You know that feeling when you just woke up, and someone stole your brain?

hellmate26, MyM, petegutz2, swatchUSA, bold, FrankFilocamo, Shea, UserOne, FreakyDeaky, TAALBERG and 9 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, karamojo, mindeep and hellmate26

Kangaroos in the courtroom make trials fun

The bar on the top of the screen is not to be trusted

The good guys are the ones who win

perellano and dor1316 like this

If you're not allowed to question it, that's how you know it's true

I support supporting things

swatchUSA likes this

The whole universe was not created specifically for you. It was created specifically for the annoying mosquito trying to bite you.

swatchUSA and bold like this

Anything that did not exist when you were young was created by evil flying cheeseburgers.

Clocks do not tell time. They tell how many ghosts are in a room.

perellano, Vandtastic and bold like this

Car manufacturers manufacture cars.

Vandtastic and dor1316 like this

swatchUSA and chocolat like this

If we don't fight to prove that the sky is blue, the anti-blue skyers will win!

Putting an idiot in charge was a great idea

perellano, Vandtastic, sarcaSM and dor1316 like this

Here never, gone yesterday.
That makes sense.
Yes.

Go green or the trees will kill you

We have to begin a crusade to inform people that #TheSkyIsBlue

It is physically impossible for life to give you lemons, because life has a lemon allergy.

It's our moral duty to prove that the sky is blue

We are all the same species, except the Japanese. The Japanese come from the planet Jupiter. That's why their cartoons are so weird.

Vandtastic and Jamille like this

"Never trust words written in colored boxes, unless they were written by Truthteller."
-Truthteller

Jamille likes this

The sun is actually a giant oven that is slowly cooking us.

Vandtastic and Jamille like this

Wednesday is a government conspiracy to steal our organs. Do not accept Wednesday as a day of the week.

The fluffy white particles that fall from the sky every winter are actually God's dandruff.

Shout out to the rocks in my back yard.
If I do not give a shout out to the rocks, they will kill me in my sleep.

Dogs are really cats wearing really smelly rugs.

Pink is for girls, and blue is for boys. That's the way the Qploxblayrians made us when they first genetically engineered us to use as slaves.

Computer viruses are good for your computer. They strengthen your computer's immune system.

Just say no to everything

Mosquitos only bite you because they like you.
They save your blood so they can clone you later if you die.

The government is lying to you.
There is no Santa Claus.

Global warming will only become a threat to us when we invent fart-powered flight.

Night is dark, and so is dusk.

We are here, so here we are.

sarcaSM, bold and dor1316 like this

Life is like a table.
Because shut up.

bold, sarcaSM and dor1316 like this

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them in life's eyes.
And then life will punch you in the face for it.

You must always wear at least one article of clothing, or else the aliens will take your skin.

Vandtastic likes this

If you dye your hair, it will soak into your brain, and your vision will be permanently tinted.

If you say the forbidden word, all life on earth will perish.

chocolat likes this

Liquid nitrogen is good for your pores.

Vandtastic and chocolat like this

99% of people who drink water die.

janem803, Vandtastic, phuamaxx, Jamille and swatchUSA like this

reposted by swatchUSA

Frogs give terrible advice.

petegutz2, swatchUSA, Jamille and emiledi77 like this

If Senpai doesn't notice you, duct tape a neon sign to your chest.

Jamille and emiledi77 like this

If you inhale water vapor, you'll turn into a cloud. It's science.

Vandtastic, Jamille and emiledi77 like this

30,000 mayflies die every year from carbon emissions.
Buy a Toyota.

emiledi77 likes this

Life is like an ad campaign.
The biggest sell-out gets to be on TV!

Vandtastic likes this

If we don't exist, then why are we here?

Jamille and swatchUSA like this

Drinking beer is good for your brain.
Drinking too much beer overloads your brain and makes your head explode.

KosmicKarma likes this

If you stare at your computer for too long, you'll gain super intelligence.

Jamille and swatchUSA like this

There's nothing remotely unhealthy about eating at McDonald's for every meal every single day.
Death is just the body's way of saying "Thank you."

Jamille likes this

Never look back.
Not even if there's a speeding car coming up behind you.

Vandtastic likes this

Always trust everything you read on the Internet. Always.

petegutz2, Vandtastic, meohmy, Shea, UserOne, sudeshnarocks, MarcellaA, eulekauzig, guggigirl, Boldomatic and 5 others like this

reposted by swatchUSA, Boldomatic, VTRenegade and swatchUSA

Nothing wakes me up quite like electroshock therapy.

perellano, Vandtastic and chocolat like this

When life gives you lemons, rent a steamroller.

Jamille likes this

Everything is better when you're wearing a live octopus on your head.

Vandtastic, bold and Jamille like this

Breaking a mirror is good luck.

There is no evil more evil than video games.
- Kerry Nguyen, 1744

swatchUSA, sarcaSM and Jamille like this