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MarcellaA

Catch my set on Viceland's Flophouse April 21st, competing May 5th on Comedy Central's @midnight

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MarcellaA

Remember the good ol days when you would just ask a guy if he had a girlfriend or wife and now you gotta make sure he ain't voting Trump.

23

Sext me the test results.

10

Slow down. You're rushing into nothing

9

Nothing is funnier to me than sports fans booing athletes as if they can do any of this shit.

6

I threw away all my bills because they're fake news.

11

We should also start using contact tracing to find out how somebody became a racist or sexist or an asshole.

7

Before these asshats defund Planned Parenthood, maybe someone should tell them that's where their escorts go to get tested?

9

DACA doesn't incentivize illegal immigration, but an undocumented model becoming 1st Lady might.

3

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