atrano's Posts

There are a Million Way's To Say " I Love You"

"Put Your Seatbelt on"
" Watch Your Step"
" Get Some Rest"

You Just Have To Listen

Reposted from juneocallagh

emiledi77, juneocallagh, janeh, atrano, perellano and meohmy like this

My teenager boy askedd me on Friday night before he hit the road with friends: " Do you trust me 100 %?". I told him that I didn't know that you could trust 50%. Trust or do not trust. That's what Yoda would say. Anyone agree/ disagree?

emiledi77, juneocallagh, Sunshine123, atrano, meohmy and haddock like this

You have two hands . One to help yourself and one to help others .
Andrew Hepburn

janem803, emiledi77, Sunshine123, janeh, purplechill, atrano, meohmy and juneocallagh like this

reposted by emiledi77

Depression : " My car is paid off today. Im sad because the longest relationship I ever have is with this car . "

emiledi77, juneocallagh, janeh, atrano and meohmy like this

reposted by emiledi77

My Mom is a fortune teller. She always predict what is going to happen if I don't listen to her advice . She is right all the time.

janem803, emiledi77, janeh, MyM, haddock, juneocallagh and purplechill like this

reposted by juneocallagh

"Dad. Even my ex said he appreciates me now that Im older and wiser". My Dad replied : "He lied".
I love my Dad to death.

emiledi77, janeh and juneocallagh like this

I told my husband that I am upset that I didn't make to the gym today. He said: "I know the gym called".
FYI: I am a gymnoholic.

emiledi77 and juneocallagh like this

I think of Bold as Style and Facebook Instagram Twitter as Fashion. "Fashion passed . Style remains."

emiledi77, atrano and juneocallagh like this

My teenager boy has the survival skill of a goldfish .

emiledi77, juneocallagh, Sunshine123 and atrano like this

THE STONE YOU THROW MY WAY COULD BE THE STONE YOU TRIP OVER TOMORROW...

Reposted from juneocallagh

emiledi77 and juneocallagh like this

THE STONE YOU THROW MY WAY COULD BE THE STONE YOU TRIP OVER TOMORROW...

Reposted from juneocallagh

juneocallagh likes this

"How many pounds you lost this week ". My husband asked .
" None but I didn't gain any."
Think positive .

atrano, haddock, juneocallagh, God-Like and meohmy like this

Wife: " Honey I lost 2 pound this week"
Husband : " I found it"

juneocallagh, God-Like, atrano and meohmy like this

Honey I lost 1 pound . My husband :" I found your pound . Its stuck on my belly."

God-Like and A.M. like this

My jealous coworker asked me " Do you ever go to work without make up?".
My honest answer: " Yes the last time I did that yoi asked me if Iam ok and that I look tired".

juneocallagh likes this

Don't break anybody's heart, they only have one.
Break their bones, they have 206 bones.

ZeepBella, emiledi77, juneocallagh, atrano, jonesygirl80 and Babs_77 like this

reposted by emiledi77

My patient once told me: " You know we have a Black Jesus here in the psy ward".
RN: " Where is the White Jesus"
" He is at home my husband".
RN : " Where is the Asian Jesus"
My patient replied quickly: "
There's none".
FYI: I M AN ASIAN R.N

juneocallagh and atrano like this

"Honey I love my new job at the psy ward."
"You fit right in my love"

juneocallagh, atrano and meohmy like this

How are your kids doing in school? .
Fantastic! ..
Wow what's happened?
I just lower my expectations.

atrano, juneocallagh and csvanholm like this

"Does she mean that much to you?"
" Yes, she means the whole world to me."
" Then your world is too small ..."
From " Wicked".
Anna Tran

juneocallagh likes this

Wife: I had a bad dream. There's a girl lay on your chest and you said her hair feel so good"
Husband: " We have the same dream"

juneocallagh, atrano and coco03 like this

I feel like a sexy bitch on my beach vacation.

juneocallagh, atrano and asgerhagensen like this

My doctor asked me if I am sexually active. I answered " Yes at least once a day". He told me " Thats not what I mean ?" I am so confused about English. What did I say wrong. Please help.

#sex

juneocallagh, atrano and asgerhagensen like this

Why do Americans call it a " blow job when it's actually a " suck" job?
From: " English as second language"

#sex

juneocallagh and asgerhagensen like this

NEWLY WED:
" Why are you blowing my love?"
" Its a blow job isn't it"
True story : American husband and Vietnamese wife.

juneocallagh, atrano and asgerhagensen like this

I feel so guilty that I have been a Bolding Bitch and laughing my bitching butt off all day and not doing a thing.

juneocallagh and asgerhagensen like this

" I love you. You are my life raft"
" Hang on tight. Im appology for the rough ride"

juneocallagh, asgerhagensen, ladiilacii and atrano like this

My life would be easier if people looked like their personality.
Repost from " I don't remember"

juneocallagh and atrano like this

Fuck you,
very much.

Reposted from anonymous

UserOne, juneocallagh, csvanholm, pasquale85, atrano and ladiilacii like this

Have you ever smell somebody's fart next to you and said: " What did you eat. I can almost taste that".

juneocallagh, atrano and patrick like this

Pleasantly Confused Patient:
" I ve been looking for that big diamond wedding ring , how come it ends up on your finger".

juneocallagh, atrano and ladiilacii like this

RN to patient:
I would agree with you but then we are both wrong.

juneocallagh, asgerhagensen and atrano like this

Husband to wife: " Honey , what cream should I put on his bottom. It's kind of red ...?"
Child: " Whip cream works".

juneocallagh, asgerhagensen and atrano like this

Wife to husband: " I m not fat am I".
Child to Mom: " But your legs are"."

juneocallagh, atrano and slikkepind7 like this

R.N: " do you speak another language Mam?"
Madam: " I speak B. S fluently"

juneocallagh, csvanholm, atrano, asgerhagensen and ladiilacii like this

I looked up on Google what does it means to dream of " failed test". It auto -completed my sentence " dream of falling testicles". Lucky me I don't have them.

juneocallagh and atrano like this

" Honey. I am gonna fart. Would you want me to leave the bedroom. "
" Stay. I ll leave"

lidiarenee_ likes this

On Mother Day:
" No no. Today is Father day. Go tell your Dad"

atrano, NomiMAN and lidiarenee_ like this

At family Mother day's dinner :
" What did you do the 1st haft of the day"
" Getting ready for the 2nd haft of day"

atrano, juneocallagh and manutd7770 like this

I know it when my best friend calls me cause it said on the caller ID : " Restricted".

atrano and juneocallagh like this

Teenagers are like Powers Rangers. They changed to their defensive suits quickly. And different suits all the time.

atrano, csvanholm, ladiilacii and kj55 like this

"Dear son. On Mother Day I ask that you always forgive me in your heart that I have been angry at you mamy times if your mistakes. Please forgive me for your faults as a son is my faults as a mother"

atrano likes this

" Son
When you grow up. Would you be strong orne just?:
" I would be whatever you taught me to be.
Happy Mother Day"

juneocallagh and atrano like this

" Sweety. You need to go to bed. Mommy has to sleep with Daddy. I m his wife".
" He needs another one"

atrano likes this

"Mom. I wish I get fired from school."
From: a 5_years old boy.

"You need to meditate at least 10 minutes a day. Its good for you.
" I can't. I m too busy"
" Then you need to meditate 1 hour?"

juneocallagh likes this

" Being a housewife must be hard for you. You've been working at the hospital for years"

" Dirt is much easier to clean up than blood".

juneocallagh, csvanholm, atrano and manutd7770 like this

What did you do for Mother day?
I showered for her when she asked

manutd7770 and atrano like this

Wh people with closed mind always open their mouth.

MyM, csvanholm, BlackJack83, atrano and ladiilacii like this

reposted by emiledi77

Wife:
I like my work ( at the psych hospital). I lve my patients.
Husband:
You seem related to them very well.

"Nurse. Don't think I m crazy because you dont like what I said?".
" Of course not Sir. Only how you said it".
" How?"
" Well. Your speech is incoherent, rapid, rambling , unintelligible, repetitive, slurred , monotonous, pressured, explosive and abusive. Does it make sense to you?"
" Yes. it makes PERFECT NONSENSE. Now shut your pie hole".

atrano and juneocallagh like this

" Are you saying I am delusional. ?"
Nurse" No Sir. I am saying you have delusional thoughts".

" PSYCH UNIT".
" Nurse. I can't wait to get out of here."" " Me too".

janem803 likes this

" Iam not crazy. I shouldn't be here".
" I assure you that this is the place for people who think they are not crazy and they are not belong here."

atrano likes this

" Nurse. You are so crazy. "
" I fit right in am I?".

" Sir. I need to draw your blood for AM lab"
" No Way. So that you can dip my blood with bread like your main course".
" No. Thats just my appetite. Now may I"

" You need to have this injection so that you can be back to reality".
" I don't want to. I dont like reality"

" Nurse. My roomate was confused and lay on my bed last night. "
" Oh no. Why didn't you say anything".
" Its ok. I like him. He is pleasantly confused".

Positive thoughts:
" I had some horribly weird bizarre dreams last night"
Nurse: " You must feel exhausted. Are you glad that those horrible things aren't real. Now lets eat some real breakfast. "

I thought I am the one who know it all untill I work with those nurse_ coworkers.

I work at the psych hospital. I love to go to work. They make me feel I m normal.

meohmy and Miloklaas like this

"There is no subtitles option in this movie. Only " English for the deaf and hearing impaired". Thats not fair.

" Nursecan you wrap my left hand's knuckles with kerlix. Its bleeding because I was banging on the windows when I was angry"
A moment later...
" Nurse. Why you are wrapping my right hand. The left hand is the injured one".
Nurse:
" Im.being PROACTIVE".

" Dr. Would you please give this patient some pain medication. His pain is not under controlled."

"Nope Tell him he can bang on his chest like King Kong"

" Can you give him something else like Ativan IM because he is banging on the Nurse's door"

"Yep. Now we talking.Lets have..."

"Why are you here. This is a psych hospital. You must have some suicidal thoughts? "

"No.I just have homicidal thoughts."

" Shouldn't you be in the PD (PoliceDept.) instead of ED (Emergency Dept.)?

mjf likes this

" there are two kinds of anti depressions you can choose from."
" what are the side effects."
" One makes you gain weight. The other induces Parkinson's syndrome."
" No thanks. I d rather be skinny & depressed than fat happy robotic walking zombie".

"You just gonna ask me the same question those doctors ask me. Don't you."
" No I am your nurse. You are in the psych unit. I'm going to ask you what you haven't told those doctor s."

Patient:
I have " connection problem with people"
Nurse:
" Keep trying. Its just a failed attempt. "

atrano likes this

Nurse:
" Good morning . How are you today".
Patient:
"I couldn't sleep at all. Too noisy. Too cold:.
Nurse:(; thinking)
"I didn't ask how were you last night".

Patient:
" I hate people here. I hate the air I breath".
Nurse ( thinking to herself)
" Then don't breath"

atrano likes this

Did you know that " common sense" is not that "common" in nursing.

Toddler:
" Mom, your boops have eyes"" No dear they are nipples"

Every women need makeup. I only know one women who doesn't need makeup. Thats Elizabeth Taylor. And she wears tons of makeup.
" Osage County" Movie

" Son, it's your birthday. Did you notice I cleaned up half of the dog's poops for you"
" Where was the other hafl?"
" He ate it"
Based on true story.
My son turn 16 today.

atrano likes this

I think pharmaceutical companies should list all of the " positive side effects " and change the " potential SE to " less desirable outcomes" to increase " pills compliance".

Nurse:

" My son is so sweet. He said : Mom you need to sleep well so that you don't make mistake in hospital. "

Patient:

"So did you sleep well?"

"Nurse I take these pills to show my cooperation so I can get out of here. Cause taking pills against my religion".
" How so. There are cocains / marijuana urine screening. Are they not drugs".
" Nope. Anything grows from the earth are ok with my religion".
" I see".
Moral: " You can always learn from anybody you meet. Just ask the questions even you think you know the answer."

"Sir. Did you sleep well last night".
" I always have nightmares. Its PTSD"
" I am terrible sorry. I wish you coukd have my dream. It always beautiful"
Next day:
" Sir. Did you have a good night"
" Yes. Indeed . How about you?:
" I didn't sleep. Its was just a very long night mare".
The moral: " Dont share your dream".
Based on true story.

Teacher: " Your son said the " F" word today"
Mom : " What did he exactly ? "
Teacher: " Go hug yourself".
Mom: " I thought the F word starts with letter F".
FYI : I taught my son that after reading this from the " boldmatic writer".
IAM SO PROUD. I NOT ONLY LOVE BOLD. I AM DARE TO BE BOLD. I CHALLENGE YOU ALL TO BE BOLD LIKE ME. THEY ARE SO NONSENSE OUT THERE. THEY MADE ME EXTREMELY AGITATED.

Mom: " Please stay away from the girls that like to taddle tell. Thats what girls do."
Little 5 years old: " You knows what boys do? Punch the girl in the face when they taddle tell. "
Mom: " You will be sitting in the principle office"
5 years old: " So. They alway believe the girls and I will be sitting in there anyway. I might as well"
Based on true story.

Nutritional Therapist:

" Nurses, please stop put in the nutritional consults to us. Your patients are in the psychiatric unit , not oncology unit. Plus everybody ordered " double portions.""

Nurse: " The doctor
wants to know why they all said " lost appetite".
Based on true story.

"They said you choked a girl in your class room. Why?"
"Mom , her breath 's stinky and she kept breathing in my face"
" Why didn't you just tell her that?".
" I didn't want to hurt her feeling"

kj55 likes this

" Why didn't you change to your husband last name when you got married?"
" I asked my husband the very same question when we got married . Why the women in this country has to change to her husband' s last name when they got married?"
He said: " Its cultural. Cultural is important"
Me: "Then I will keep my maiden name because its my cultural that we keep our identity"

kj55 likes this

Our fight:
Husband: " You are crazy"
Wife: " Yep I married you"
Husband: " You are wrong. I chose you".
Wife: " Then you are undeniably crazy"
Husband" Last word freak".
Wife:

atrano and kj55 like this

Husband: "Honey the security alarm is going off right now. Please tell me what password did you reset?"

Wife:" Our wedding anniversary"
Husband: " What's it"

kj55 likes this

" Honey. I m going to the mall. Its 75% off today"
" Its 100% off if you don't buy anything at all"
I can't believe Iam still marry to this guy. He makes so much sense.

csvanholm, atrano and kj55 like this

A friend at work asked: "Just wondering if it is true that you are both female and male cause your Facebook's said you are both."
Based on true story.

kj55 likes this

" Why are you breaking up with me? Is there something wrong with me?"
" Its not you. Its everything you are not. I am sorry" Reposted from " I don't remember".

atrano and kj55 like this

"How did you end up here?"
" I became more dependent whiskey and less dependent on the job"

atrano and kj55 like this

Teacher: You failed the test.
Student: You failed to educate me.

Reposted from anonymous

ErikSmit, csvanholm, atrano and kj55 like this

"Mom have you seen my super man toy ".
"Did you look in the dog poops in the backyard".
" Which one?".
FYI: If you think you want a puppy dog. Think again.

kj55 and atrano like this

Some men say a woman's place is in the kitchen.
Just remember, that's where all the knives are.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

atrano and kj55 like this

Some men say a woman's place is in the kitchen.
Just remember, that's where all the knives are.

Reposted from _Nathalie_

atrano, roosterbear, csvanholm and kj55 like this

"I buy my own diamonds and I buy my own rings.
The house I live in I've bought it . The car I am driving I bought it. I depend on me."
And I am a dependent on my husband tax form.
" Independent women" by Destiny Child.

Saint Louis, United States

kj55 likes this

Riddle:
What goes up but never goes down?
A. Age.
B. Cost of living.
C. Both A & B.
??????????????

Saint Louis, United States

csvanholm, atrano and kj55 like this

The nice thing about Bold is that no body judge your grammar. .. " Great mind think alike". They just know what you mean.

bapu, csvanholm, BlackJack83, asgerhagensen, atrano, kj55 and nsa like this

Mom: " . You need to go to bed. Mommy need to have a good night sleep. Mommy don't want to kill anybody at the hospital." Child: " . Don't worry mommy. You will be fine. But have you ever killed anyone in the past?". Mom : " It was a near miss"

csvanholm, kj55 and atrano like this

" You need to take your medicine at the same time every day to avoid the " Roller Coaster" effect.
" I like the Roller Coaster effect. Cause when it is flat like in the EK strip, you are so dead."

atrano and kj55 like this

" Nurse , I lost my voice"
" That's terrible. I like your lost voice."

bapu, UserOne, csvanholm, kj55, nsa, atrano and mjf like this

RN:
"Do you have any suicidal thought or homocidal thought?."

Patient:
" May be"

RN:
Its a " Yes or No" question. Like " Yes I am pregnant or No , I'am not pregnant
"
Patient: " Then its a " May be answer"
.

atrano and kj55 like this

atrano and kj55 like this

Smoking e_cigarette and cigarette are like
shopping _online and shopping.

csvanholm, kj55, nsa and atrano like this

What if when we die the light at the end of the tunnel we see is just us being pushed out of another vagina?

Reposted from wiltun

UserOne, csvanholm, pinktinkbell, kj55 and atrano like this