duncandamastah's Posts

Is hell just the Joshua Tree playing on repeat

streetmedic and CurrentNobody like this

Nobody:

Big chubgus: *appears*

me: weird flex but ok

like and subscribe if you get it

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$chosjxsoxjwofkdjcjendjcifjebxkxowlwpqohqvwi!?hdjsjJjnsnsnskjsjsnsbsnjsDjjs:&&3&3@3&3&3&3&|£*]]#_^]!~£~!.'skksmNhjsbzj$!?!€\€$$:&3837:&3939!!|£.£.!€€€|€€,|€££pngmgmpn@m@n$

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Just had an MRI and it sounded like the best Death Grips album I've ever heard.

Reposted from lukeoneil47

@streetmedic

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"What do we do when the zombies get here?"

I've got news for you, they're already here.

@streetmedic

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reposted by streetmedic

Every Black Keys song sounds like it should be in a beer commercial.

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reposted by streetmedic

If you pay for the IQ test, you've already failed the IQ test.

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"And watered by the deeds of those
Who know and who are known;
Knowledge is a deadly friend
If no one sets the rules
The fate of all mankind I see
Is in the hands of fools"

--Greg Lake, "Epitaph"

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One of my pet peeves is people unironically quoting Star Wars.

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eBay seller: "payment must be received within 24 hours"

also eBay seller: "but, of course, I can take my sweet-ass time getting your item shipped out to you"

Reposted from streetmedic

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You ever hold the door for someone and regret it halfway through but you can't really close it at that point since you'd look like a douche so you're just stuck there having to stand there waiting for them taking ten minutes to walk to the door?

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A Shirley Temple is my favorite nonalcoholic drink that looks like an alcoholic drink.

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reposted by streetmedic

I'm not pessimistic, I'm just realistic.

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There's rules, and then there's common sense.

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reposted by streetmedic

Why is it that the less you do, the more you get paid?

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It's not bragging, it's just sharing how much better I am than you.

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That is somehow not the weirdest thing I've seen today.

SiriLovesAlexa, streetmedic and CurrentNobody like this

A yellow traffic light means "go faster" to some people.

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reposted by streetmedic and MissInk

Can't look for my glasses

until I find my glasses.

Reposted from streetmedic

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon.

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There's a new shithead around every corner.

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reposted by streetmedic

I'm not a Democrat or a Republican; I'm reasonable.

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reposted by streetmedic

Do me a favor and stop asking for favors.

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reposted by streetmedic and BiteSenior

Every "ism" has its schism.

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Everything I ever really needed to know I learned from the inside of Snapple caps.

duncandamastah

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reposted by streetmedic

Stanley Kubrick's the type of guy who would've used real apes for 2001 Space Odyssey.

@streetmedic, #stanley, #kubrick, #2001, #a, #space, #odyssey

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The path of the righteous man is...

Eh fuck it, I'll just take a taxi.

Reposted from anonymous

@streetmedic, @Ziya

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When I think something is finished that's my brain telling me it needs revision.

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reposted by emiledi77

Any adult male who plays this Pokémon shit needs to immediately turn in his man card.

@streetmedic

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$g_g (/|\) // \\$

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Reposted from streetmedic

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reposted by streetmedic and emiledi77

If you're not losing at least some of the time

you're not challenging yourself enough.

Reposted from streetmedic

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Don't let the dog walk you.

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reposted by streetmedic

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$(•_•) < ( ( > / \$

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