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DEAR GOD,


PLEASE SEND CLOTHES TO THOSE POOR LADIES ON DADDY'S COMPUTER.
....HER BOOBS WERE HUNG BY THE CHIMNEY WITH CARE... 
IN HOPES THAT ST. NICHOLAS WOULD FILL THEM WITH AIR!!
WHEN YOU GET WINE HANGOVER, 
IT'S  CALLED THE GRAPE DEPRESSION.
Do you ever feel like your body's "Check Engine" light is on, but you're still driving like "Nah.... It'll be fine!"
Breaking News:

Local man addicted to brake fluid says he can stop anytime he wants....
Some possessions own a person.





Just calm the body count down - wealth isn't sexually transmitted; without the wisdom to earn your money rightly, managing money takes more skills than to sell what should be a matter of principle   

                                                           'jus sayin'
Smoking will kill you.

Bacon will kill you.

But smoking bacon will cure it!

Every day, researchers document the inferior medical care received by people of color. But they receive the same level of safety precautions when they are airline passengers. 

See, you can't endanger minority group passengers without endangering white passengers at the same time. Merry Christless Christmas.

STUDENT PHILOSOPHY



"Why are you so attentive 
under the trees on the 
college campus?"

"They whisper."


- lonelyscribe
. . .?
Yes!
Beauty that only 
your eyes can see,
most definitely,
qualifies as being
superficial.

Ofrkjr



Does spirituality have to come with an easy proof lid?
Someone should re-alphabatize the alphabet

It's all wrong!
MAY YOUR MERCURY BE MORE FREDDIE AND LESS RETROGRADE
I JUST CAME HERE TO READ THE COMMENTS AND DECIDE WHO'S GOING TO HELL.
good judgement comes from experience, experience comes from bad judgement.
**************************
SINCE THE SNOW CAME ALL THE HUSBAND HAS DONE IS LOOK THROUGH THE WINDOW....IF IT GETS ANY WORSE, I'LL HAVE TO LET HIM IN....
LORD I NEED
MONEY TO ORGANIZE
YOUR BIRTHDAY...
Be a smart voice instead of a loud one
I've started investing in stocks.

Beef, Chicken, and Vegetable.

One day I hope to be a bouillonaire.
if i can just get through today then i only have one more day until i need to get through another fucking day.
i want to be cremated from the neck down and my head put on a stick and if you want to say something at my funeral you have to hold the head stick.

Holiday Wish List 

1. less gifts, more memories

2. less busyness, more peace

3. less stress, more joy

4. less chaos, more calm

5. less excess, more gratitude
What 
do you call 
Santa taking a break?

A Santa Pause.

Ha ha ha ha ha

Ofrkjr
they say theres a place down in mexico where a man can fly over mountains and hills...     and he don't need an airplane, or some kind of engine, and he never will           (mid 70's)
Shoving 
your liberal horseshit on other countries is the new empire.
I really need a day between Sunday and Monday...
Whats the deal with all these terrorist attacks? 
What are they expecting?  
Certainly not that others will become sympathetic to their cause?
All it really does is cause people to hate them all the more. More than they already do - isn't that counter-productive?
Doesn't history prove time and again that people can't be forced to believe in what you want them to?  Violence just pushes them further away and turns them against you...
Ich hasse es, wenn Frauen so schöne Augen haben, dass ich es nicht schaffe ihnen auf die Brüste zu gucken...
Someone just jumped off the Pont Neuf.

They must be in Seine!

 Ugh!

   
     Das Ungewisse 
     an Distanz ist, 
     dass man nie 
     weiss, ob der 
     andere vermisst 
     oder vergisst.