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I looked for a Q-tip today but it was stolen by the insane house cleaner

I felt sad..

The left don't want equality. They want to be saviours.
Q: whats a lawyers favorite drink?

A: subpoena colada
...about 4 minutes into my run, I've decided I want to work on my personality instead.



If kisses were snowflakes
I'd send you a blizzard
   I have a grateful heart









any time I grate cheese.


Sometimes, it takes a whole

 O-.           `
    \/)    '       _._      \  O  `      _ _ _ 
     | (U            |  _._   \/ _ >/           \ 
   /|                  |    | _[_][_]  |              |
 / /                  |    |    \ | / |   \ _ _ _ / 
~ ~                /|\/|\~/|\/|\     / | \

lot of noise to to drown the blues




SOMETIMES GOOD THINGS END BECAUSE PEOPLE AREN'T READY



SOMETIMES YOU NEED TO STOP SEEING THE GOOD IN PEOPLE AND START SEEING WHAT THEY SHOW YOU.


YOU'RE SO IN YOUR HEAD YOU CAN'T EVEN ENJOY WHERE YOU ARE.
Sozialismus, Kommunismus, Haselnussmus

smiling is always easier than revealing why you are sad
I HATE having a messy house.

Not enough to actually clean it.
But enough to give it a really disgusted stare from my seat on the couch.
"Dad, can I turn the heater on?  It's getting cold!"

'Yeah, but that'll count as part of your  Christmas present then too'..
Get your relatives speaking to one another again, by sending a heartfelt Christmas card with a picture of your family and an extra child on it that nobody knows.


I deserve sex today but whatever




Reality is overwhelming and too beautiful and complex and tragic. 

Fantasy is simpler.
begin...


...and end each day with a grateful heart
it's difficult to stop when you've already started not communicating with people.

“Exercise makes you look better naked. So does Tequila. Your choice.”



Charles Bukowski
opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them.
if everyone on earth died simultaneously, the internet would be comprised entirely of bots posting, liking, and upvoting each other.
. . . ?
Never,
Ever, 
Apologize 
For Being Honest!
If 
They 
cannot handle 
The Truth, 
then 
They 
are the ones 
with the problem! 
Not You!
Ofrkjr
what if all of the indiana jones movies are just dreams that han solo has while he's frozen in carbonate?
we worry too much. 
we take everything seriously. 
it's better to take things easier and think about consequences. 
and not do anything stupid.


And. Still. It's only fucking Tuesday.
dear wives, men have migraines and erections all the time.

looking for some heavy maintenance and revam-ping to keep me flying





HIGH STANDARDS PROTECT YOU FROM LOW QUALITY EXPERIENCES



Am I blue?
Am I blue?
Aren't these
tears in my eyes 
telling you.
I know what you did last winter.

hol dir mit Boykott-Bier einen Kater gegen Katar