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behind every successful man is a surprised mother-in-law.
behind every successful man is a woman rolling her eyes.
remember, if things get really bad and we have to resort to cannibalism - vegans first.

Rainbow capitalism annoys me a little more every day because it gives me the feeling of belonging to a white minority that doesn't even exist
I so much wanted a badass password, so I wanted to drop the "p" from the word password and use that,


but then I was told to piss on that as assword is an assinine password so 
I passed on that and I'm using my cat's 
                   nickname instead.
If it doesnt feel right, dont investigate or wait for it to make sense. Find the nearest exit and time will tell later. 

          
            Every time.
What's that word for generally pissed off but not pissed off with anything in particular?
What a year this week has been..
Wenn man wissen möchte,
wie und was die  Welt 
von Deutschland denkt, muss 
man am ESC teilnehmen.

Vielleicht könnte unser Land 
mal aufhören, so zu tun, als 
ob es überall vorne mitmischen 
muss durch Omnipräsenz aus 
schlechtem Gewissen und 
Schuldgefühl. 

Und : 
Klugscheißerei und Arroganz.





Love with me
best friends are basically therapists who get paid in margaritas.

chocolate lately 
was chocolatey
i may not be your cup of tea but i'm totally your 10th shot of tequila.
CHILDHOOD IS MEASURED OUT BY SOUNDS AND SMELLS AND SIGHTS, 
BEFORE THE DARK HOUR OF REASON GROWS.




One day you'll find someone who is obsessed with you. 

It's probably going to be a dog. But it is what it is.
"So, what do you do?"
- I'm a supervillain.
"Whats your name?"
- Autocorrector

"Hahahaha! Are you Sirius?  What's your super powder?  Wait a minion... what the help is happy ninja to me? PLEATS MAKE IT DUCKING STOP!!!!"


            I see you 

          and you are
 
            beautiful
Husband:  ''Why do you keep buying plants when you just end up killing them?''

Wife:  ''Just to remind you what I'm capable of.''
I DON'T ALWAYS FART IN BURGER KING, BUT WHEN I DO IT'S A WHOPPER !
i used to side with chief brody but now i'm team mayor because the sharks only gonna eat 1-2 more people & he'll be stuffed then we'll sell tons of shark toys and make a fortune.

as the Marquis de Sade spent most of his life in prison or confined I elec-
ted his "Les 120 Journées de Sodome ou l'école du libertinage" as new toilet read

re the exposure to govern-mental surveillance agen-cies: our thoughts do not exist outside of our aware-ness.
So the forgetful and the dreamers are the safest and the happiest in this brave new world

there is no honey in newbies



 zooh bull
DEAR MC DONALD'S CASHIER;
DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, THERE'S NO AGE LIMIT ON A HAPPY MEAL.

AND DON'T FORGET THE TOY !
GRAFFITI IS ON OF THE FEW TOOLS YOU HAVE IF YOU HAVE ALMOST NOTHING. AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T COME UP WITH A PICTURE TO CURE WORLD POVERTY YOU CAN MAKE SOMEONE SMILE WHILE THEIR HAVING A PEE.

-BANSKY








Bang!



Tact is for people who aren't  witty enough to 
be sarcastic





Got real tight tonight,
Reckon the floor will punch me,
Right in the kisser.
i'm experimenting with how many apples i need to eat a day to keep everyone away regardless of their profession.
MOONSHINE

Your love for me was rare,
like a lunar eclipse - more darkness than light.

Mine was a full moon.


 




- lonelyscribe



And then, one day, you find someone who makes you feel a deeper sense 
of home. 

Those people are called architects.