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if my heart could speak, it would put my mouth to shame.
"How much to hire a church singing group?"

"You mean a choir?"

"Fine, how much to acquire a church singing group?"
When I was young, there was no internet.

People used to have to walk for miles to call me an asshole.


 I'm
 fragile.
it's as simple as
give-and-take:



friends give,
enemies take.
Oh, sorry! 

I didn't see  your ego has a 'fragile' sticker on it.
"Looking back at all the successes and failures in my life....


I can't help but be proud that at least the potty training thing stuck!"

What's the difference between a kleptomaniac and a literalist?

The literalist takes things literally. 
The kleptomaniac takes things, literally.
It probably doesn't pay to argue over things we have chosen to believe as part of our identity.
We're all waiting our turn in conversations. Most people aren't good at listening. They're good at appearing to listen while rehearsing what they'll say next. The gap between speaking is just preparation time.
"Whenever someone says they did something 'Like a boss', I assume that means they didn't do it at all, and are merely taking credit for it!"


~ Bill Murray



being told your enemy is my enemy too is the fastest way to lose the friendship ~
Don't take anyone for granted.


Funny how people can be mad at the guy finding the fraud, but not the people wasting your money.
Arguing  with idiots is like playing chess with a pigeon...

No matter how good you are, the bird is going to shit on the board and strut around like it won anyways.
Fifty shades of grey is only romantic because the guy is a billionaire.

If he was living in a trailer it would be an  episode of criminal minds.


sipping wine at home
in the gathering twilight
and longing for home
what doesn't kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms, a sick sense of humour and the vocabulary of a fucking sailor.
Don't bold and drive.
fear not!
Your problem is that you interpret self-doubt as a sign of your character rather than a wave of inner sensations that every human experiences more often and intensely than you know.
if facts hurt your feelings, you need new feelings, not new facts.
i was thinking about writing my autobiography until the medical journal editor told me that a special issue dedicated to a case study would not be enough in my case.
Strive to be right without becoming self-righteous; because you're correct doesn't mean you can be careless.
"Everyone has a justifying ideology to excuse self-serving behavior."

-James Traub


NACH DIESER PAUSE 
WIRD DAS LEBEN OHNE UNTERBRECHUNG FORTGESETZT •




It takes a feral to walk a feral cat on a leash. Being informed a possible bite will be met with a full set of teeth only confirms it and the fact that each may have met their match.

Just because
I don't
require much 
doesn't mean
I deserve 
the bare
 minimum.



 We had a
 good run.






 We were good
 while we lasted.
there is no right life in the wrong one.
the best captains are always standing on the shore!