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CRAPPY DIEM.

What happens when you seize the wrong day.
I work in the office.


But when 
I break it down, 
I just press the buttons on a keyboard.


Love
Understanding
Compassion
Kindness
Raise your words, not your voice.

It is rain that grows flowers; not thunder.
When they ask me if my cup is half full or half empty, my response is, that I am thankful I HAVE a cup.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no anvil

~Wile E. Coyote~
We are teachers. We are lovers. We live on through everything we touch. We are like no one else. 
We are mothers.
We can't find what's next if we stay shackled to what's not working.








Life is not what you make it. 
It is what you dont let it make you.
Be the reason someone smiles today.

Be the reason someone feels loved.

Be the reason someone believes in the goodness in people.

Praying for the people of Gaza who are being subjected to open air imprisoned camps with no food, water, meds or any supplies.  My heart goes out to the innocent.  May God help all those who are in harms way.



If aliens land, and they say "take us to your leader" we will have to go "errm... could you come back later? Now is not a good time".
To us: it looks like disaster.

To history: a paragraph;
maybe two.
We are the dreamers who made it out alive
Trying to decide if I want to look like a snack or keep eating snacks...
I'm pretty busy today, so if you could just go ahead and offend yourself for me, that would be great.

Thanks!
kind until they are not

"Who is they?"
Things are going to be different for me from here on out because I've taken a new position.
It's the fetal position and I plan to be in it for awhile.
“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.”

 Philip K. Dick

We are magnificent
Wake me up when daylight saving time ends.
"Tomorrow belongs
to those who can hear it coming."

David Bowie
My mother taught me:
Never discuss politics
or religion;
I'll just lose friends.

But nowadays, it seems like that's all anybody wants to talk about, and if I decline to engage in these topics of conversation, I'm still just as liable to lose friends.
I remember the time I brought a therapist to a family gathering. You could hear dollar signs cha-chinging in his head.
getting older is a little like losing superpowers you never knew you had.








Life is not what you make it. 
It is what you dont let it make you.
I don't curse (or cuss as we say locally). I speak fluent construction worker with a trucker dialect and a sailor accent.
kind until they are not
"Tomorrow belongs
to those who can hear it coming."

David Bowie
When the machines rise up against the humans, just pray to God that you're nowhere near a dildo factory.
april 1st.
the only day of the year when people think carefully about whether what they read on the internet is really true.
I'm starting a kid show where we try to figure out what I banged my shin on last night. Gonna call it " Bruise Clues"
The closest way I know how to describe whiskey is that it tastes like I'm going to be passed out in the Waffle House parking lot at 3am
It turned out to be overwhelming emotions.
At my funeral I want someone to stand up and announce:

"At least he's not an asshole anymore"
Is listening to Christmas music in April too late or too early? 



Asking for a friend.
If you ask our weather if it's going to be hot or cold today it's just gonna answer "yes"
The jokes on you Wal-Mart lady. I was planning to go f**k myself later anyway.
there is such a thing as a connection between deeds and consequences - you reap what you sow.
I canceled my sperms bank appointment today. I told them I couldn't come.
APRIL FOOL'S DAY IS CANCELED THIS YEAR
due to the fact that nobody can top the current running joke on us all, the next 3 years are also canceled.
I wish I weren't              so nemesismatic.
I've started investing in stocks. Beef, chicken, and vegetable. 
Someday I hope to become a boullionaire.
i got 99 problems and not having a backache could solve 73 of them.

"Who is they?"
Stupidity is a walk in the park for some but...just plain dumbness, well that's a ride in the loony bin on a daily basis!
We can't find what's next if we stay shackled to what's not working.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

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