Posts Liked by maxfaitbetise

Findet ihr TV Gewinnspiele auch zu einfach?

A) Ja
B) Bratwurst

I may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I'm someones double vodka!

Wissen die Fische im Aquarium, von der Welt da draussen?

The universe contains protons, neutrons, electrons
and morons.

beer makes you see double and feel single

everything you've ever wanted is on the other side of fear.

Vodkacoffee @ 8 a.m. beats your ritalin.

be a smile on someone else’s face

A duckface a day, keeps the gentlemen away.

The moment when people ask what Hitlers last name was.

THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Everyone's curious

But no one really cares.

Whenever I delete an app on my phone,
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •

Frühling,
du geile Sau!

I think wet dreams are actually God giving you a handjob for being so good.

Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.

You drink too much.
You swear too much.
You have no morals.

You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend!

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

Don't add winky face emoticons to anything unless you want me to take it sexually.

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

404: Life not found

Time you enjoyed wasting was not wasted!

you can't have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time

Weekends are like an orgasm.
It takes a lot to get there and when you finally did, it's over in no time...

ICH ESSE NUR VEGETARIER

Everything is made in China. Except babies. They are made in vaChina.

What happens in Vegas...
ends up on Facebook.

All i ask is a chance to prove money can't make me happy !

W
Y c I o
N o n i t r
e r i o t ' l
w k s t a y. s a d.

90% of women don't like men in pink shirts. Ironically 90% of men in pink shirts don't like women either.

touché.

unbezahlte Überstunden

FUCK YOU

Am i killing time
or is time killing me?

EIN HAMSTERRAD SIEHT VON INNEN AUS WIE EINE KARRIERELEITER

sex, drugs and rock 'n roll.

its weekend

I'll have a café mocha vodka valium latte to go please.

$_==/ i i \==_ /XX/ |\___/| \XX\ /XXXX\ |XXXXX| /XXXX\ |XXXXXX\_ _XXXXXXX_ _/XXXXXX| XXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXX |XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX/ ^ ^ ^ ^ " \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/ ^ ^ ^^ \XXXXXX |XXX| \XXX/ ^ ^ \XXXXX/ ^ ^ \XXX/ |XXX| \XX\ \X/ \XXX/ \X/ /XX/ "\ " \X/ " /"$

Wir können ja Fremde bleiben.

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit
and
knowing you're shit..

get it right •

Beer.
Helping ugly people have sex since 1862.

oo
,..,

i need blood

Anyone who smiles on a Monday morning cannot be trusted.

some of your best memories will come from some of your most foolish decisions.

What is arrogance?

Thinking you can compete with me!

beckenrandschwimmer

You look like I need another drink.

I myself am entirely made of flaws, stitched together with good intentions.

don't
let
idiots
ruin
your
day!

the last thing I want to do is hurt you.

but it's still on the list.

Everything happens for a reason!

Sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and you make bad decisions.

bad decisions make good stories

Never
make eye contact while eating banana.

Some say the glass is half full, some say the glass is half empty. I say “Are you gonna drink that?”

HAVE A NICE PROBLEM.

Me: I wanna go on a diet.

Food: Hahahaha No.

I MISS HATING THE SUMMER HEAT ^

If the Wetter gets better I'll be netter.

Hey Vegetarians, my food shits on your food!

A LAUGH IS A
SMILE THAT BURSTS

Wer schwankt hat mehr vom Weg.

Askhole- A person who constantly ask for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.

Fuck this, I'm going to marry someone rich

It's not the dress that makes you look fat!

It's the fat.

ver_iss dich !

a) m
b) p

Ich sage nicht, dass ich Batman bin.

Ich sage nur:
Niemand hat Batman und mich jemals gemeinsam in einem Raum gesehen.

near
dark

Fat people are harder to kidnap.

Just got a booty call from life -

apparently it still wants to keep fucking me.

Don't believe everything you think.

Monday? I told you to fuck off last week

|
•
|

your ass must get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth.

IT'S SNOWING, QUICK TELL EVERYONE ON SOCIAL MEDIA.

#not

You make me wish I had more middle fingers.

I SO CAN'T WAIT TO BE ASHAMED OF WHAT I DO THIS WEEKEND!

9

{cloud}

#HighAsFuck

JESUS LOVES GAYS

I may look calm but in my head I have already killed you three times AND hid the body.

Life Is About Kicking Ass Not Kissing It

if you aren't living on the edge, you're taking up too much space.

PROVE
YOU
EXIST