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Posts Liked by lucai

Sometimes I drink a glass of water...
just to surprise my liver.

29

My favourite part of attending a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka...

129

a smile is the best makeup any girl can wear

142

my sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think i'm stupid.

145

a mosquito landed on my balls... hardest decision of my life

114

i licked it, so it's mine.

195

Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.

628

Never
make eye contact while eating banana.

339

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