Posts Liked by echophoe

just write any numbers in the sudoku boxes,
it doesn't matter.

we're all gonna die.

Thanks for tagging me in a Facebook photo that I immediately untagged because I didn't look amazing.

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

I love school, I love maths,
I admire all my teachers,
I enjoy studying, I adore my haters, I love winter, my favourite animals are spiders, my favourite colour is shocking pink...

...and I like being sarcastic.

In the Sims, you don't say I love you. You say "habadu bashadi" which translates to "I cannot move because there is furniture in the way. I think that's beautiful.

There are four sides of every story.

Yours, mine,
the truth and the internet version.

I don't mind being nude, if you don't mind being speechlessly impressed.

School is slowly killing me. Wasn't it supposed to educate me?

people who talk behind my back, is in the perfect position to kiss my ass!

Friday is my sunshine

I wake
up with a good attitude everyday..
then idiots happen •

Most of us can keep a secret. It's the people we tell it to who can't.

If someone is ugly, you call them a stalker.
If the person is good looking, you call them a secret admirer.

What do I do when
I see someone extremely beautiful?

I stare, smile and when I get tired, I
put the mirror down.

You can't make everyone happy.

So just concentrate
on me.

Girls who claim that a lot of guys are after them should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

The next time you get a call from a blocked number answer the phone and say, "It's done, but there's blood everywhere."

Wow...
it turned out that I'm not a Ninja.

That really hurt...

Leaving the house on a monday morning would be much cooler if someone would yell "Aaaaand Action" as I walk out the door.

Monday - when the world rotates incorrectly.

Hurricanes are
like women.
When they come, they're wet and wild, but when they leave, they take your house and car.

If I share my food with you it's either because I love you a lot
or because it fell on the floor...

Looking at your best friend and saying:
I'll do it
if you do it.

Remember when staying up late was actually exciting?

Now that's just life.

I live for two reasons:

1) I was born.

2) I haven't died yet.

Ups...just got caught peeing in the swimming pool. The damn lifeguard shouted so loud, I almost fell in.

$Dear math, I'm not a therapist, solve your own problems.$

Life is short & so is your penis.

Crowded elevators must smell so different to midgets...

Your body has a wingardium leviosa effect on my penis.

Welcome to the dark side. We lied about the cookies.

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

When I have money = Nothing to buy.

When I don't have money = I want everything.

listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the fuck you were gonna do anyway

happenis

Hey, want to double your iPhone battery life? Put the fucking thing down.

Pizza: round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box...

Skinny girls think they are chubby,
chubby girls think they're fat
and fat girls think they can wear leggings •

does your ass ever get jealous of all that shit that comes out of your mouth?

She liked my bold.

So I guess you could say things're getting pretty serious.

Top ten things men understand about women.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

shut up, you'll never be the man your mother is

what's the difference between a homeless guy and a hipster?

-the iPhone

If someone says, they'll always be there for you... make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.

Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!

I WANT A TICKET TO ANYWHERE.

im not
stupid
i just have bad luck when im thinking

Making mirrors look good.

- since 1998

I'm honestly convinced some women don't fart. They just store it up, and it comes out as drama.

I SWEAR AS MUCH AS I WANT TO
YOU FUCKING FUCK OF A FUCKFACE

I'm thinking.

Please stand by.

Don't judge me.

If you're reading this you're not working either.

can't seem to find love.
but it's okay.
I know exactly where the chocolate is.

There's always a light at the end of a tunnel.
Just pray it isn't a train.

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience--well, that comes from poor judgment••••

nobody
said
it was easy,
no one ever said it would be so hard••••

COLDPLAY-

you're so ugly, i heard you went to an "ugly" contest and the judges told you "sorry, no professionals"

I can hear monday already whispering "go fuck yourself" into my ear...

If women ruled this world, there would be no wars.

Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

I think I've fallen in hate with you.

The sexiest thing about smoking cigarettes is the part where you don't smoke them.

music is like feelings and colors mixed together with a little beat of the drums

A balanced diet means a cupcake in each hand.

TODAY I'M GONNA SPREAD JOY. I HOPE SHE WON'T MIND.

Imagine if you called the wrong number and the person who answered was a celebrity. "Hello" "Mom?" "No. This is Morgan Freeman."

Mom: You can't stay online forever.
Me: Is that a challenge?

I'm not a morning person. or a night time person. I don't think i'm even a person.

looking at you, I realize what a waste of skin you are

Me? Jealous? Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahayes.

I'm gonna kill you.
Hahaha.
No, seriously. Run.

The Harlem shake is just an excuse to go full retard for 30 seconds.

Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha
Ha Ha Ha Ha

Me in class: Wait... What happened? What do we do? What do we write? When's the test? What is this? How do you do this? What?

Fat, single, and ready for a pringle

Some kids were dropped as a baby. But you were clearly thrown in the air, smacked by a ceiling fan, and tossed out the window.

Some kids were dropped as a baby. But you were clearly thrown in the air, smacked by a ceiling fan, and tossed out the window.

if ugly were a crime, you'd get a life sentence

$_==/ i i \==_ /XX/ |\___/| \XX\ /XXXX\ |XXXXX| /XXXX\ |XXXXXX\_ _XXXXXXX_ _/XXXXXX| XXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXXxxxxxxxXXXXXXXXXXX |XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX |XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX/ ^ ^ ^ ^ " \XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX/ ^ ^ ^^ \XXXXXX |XXX| \XXX/ ^ ^ \XXXXX/ ^ ^ \XXX/ |XXX| \XX\ \X/ \XXX/ \X/ /XX/ "\ " \X/ " /"$

valborg is the proof that swedes make up holidays so they can skip school or work and drink instead

I'm not as random as you think I salad.

There are only five things we need in life:

- good friends
- good job
- good food
- good sleep
- good _uck *

* whatever you're
thinking, it's right.

I don't care if you think I'm insane.

The unicorn who visits me in the night time says
I don't and
I believe him.

I can't find the joke

(._. ) ('-' ) (._.) ('-') ( '-') ( ._.)

so gay he can't even drive straight.

off is the general direction in which i wish you would fuck

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN MUSIC GENRES

Sentence: I SAW A FLOWER

RAP: Yo, I was hangin' with my muthafuckin' homies and we saw a muthafuckin' flowa' in a muthafuckin' garden.

POP: I saw a flower, I saw a flower, I saw a flower. It had blue petals; blue petals; blue petals.

ROCK: In fields where nothing grew but weeds I found a flower at my feet, bending there in my direction

EMO: I came across a beautiful flower but it FUCKING DIED.

METAL: ARSGYDSD FLOOOWWWWEEEERRR!!! AZBSVDHJSHDJD IN A FIELD!!!!!

I have a black belt in sarcasm

Remember, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Except for herpes. That shit'll come back with you.

M A R E
A M O R
R O M A
E R A M

30'000
boldness points

yeah!! :D

Stand up for the color blind-lesbian- single mum-left handed-eskimo-tree huggers.

sweet dreams are made of cheese

Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!

I was gonna make a gay joke

Butt fuck it

Dear parents, knocking WHILE you open the door to my bedroom
kinda defeats the purpose of knocking...

"I need a boyfriend"

No, you WANT a boyfriend.
You NEED water, cause you sound thirsty.

"I'm a ninja."
"Prove it!"
...
"Did you see that?"
"See what?"
"Exactly."

I forgive and forget,

because I have a good heart and a terrible memory.

I forgive and forget,

because I have a good heart and a terrible memory.

I saw something
that reminded me of you today,
but don't worry I flushed it •

Wenn Robben robben robben Robben Robben nach

Sad story: my favorite Italian chef died. In other words, he pasta way.

Dear spider, unless you pay rent, you can't live in my room.

Home:

a place where I can look ugly and enjoy it.

$*Set the math book on fire* It has way too many problems. So it wanted to die... R.I.P.$

Where did little Susie go after the bombing?

Everywhere

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

i play the keyboard in a band called the internet

Today, it was my wedding day.
Three people showed up.
My mom, my dad, and the priest.

YOLO

I DON'T THINK SO

i may be drunk, but you are ugly, and tomorrow i will be sober

$Make little things count Teach midgets math$

every bunny was kung foo fighting

did i copy this?

don't be all acting like you invented the english language and stuff

the fucking thing i fucking like the most in the english fucking language is that you can fucking put the fucking word "fucking" every fucking place you want without giving a fuck
...
excuse my French

Forest, "Jenny, I may not know what Love is,

but Google does"

Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?

Glad fucking påsk!

If you can't say anything fucking nice about anyone, come sit by me.

You call it making a mess.

I call it marking my territory.

if lives gives you lemons, just throw the fuckers back.

i'd like to see things in your point of view, but i can't get my head that far up my ass

Pretending to work all day can be quite exhausting.

Wanna read something funny?

Something funny.

What does a cat and a fork have in common?
They both have tails, except the fork.

I just awesomed all over the place.

STRESS IS
CAUSED BY GIVING A FUCK.

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

Jag suger på utländska språk

My love is like a candle.

because if you forget me ill burn your fucking house to the ground.

Work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody is watching you.

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not
hear the music.

Nietzsche

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them...

shit happens I mean... just look at your face.

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.

Because fuck you, that's why.

find what you love and let it kill you

Deal with it.

if I ever get a female dog I'm going to name her Life, and then I can tell eveyone that Life is a bitch.

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.

friends are like balloons, if you stab them they die.

My life is a romantic comedy minus the romance and just me laughing at my own jokes.

EVERYONE'S IRISH ON MARCH 17th

When I'm available no one texts me.
When I'm busy... BAM! ...still no one texts me.

I'm sick about all the Irish stereotypes!
As soon as I finish this drink, I'm punching someone.

I just awesomed all over the place.

justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.

i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.

You look like something
I draw with my left hand.