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TheBestQuotes's Posts

If you smacked a kid in the face with a bottle of Johnson's No More Tears, would it create beautiful irony?

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A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it. -Jerry Seinfeld

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Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us. -Jerry Seinfeld

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"Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning."

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"I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.- Rodney Dangerfield

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"Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the 'Y' becomes silent."

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