stephie5992166's Posts

They
Keep
Saying
My
Prince
Will Come ?
I
Think
Mine
Got Hit By A TRUCK !

Reposted from juneocallagh

juneocallagh likes this

I was gonna take over the world
this morning, but I overslept.

Postponed.

Again.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi and juneocallagh like this

Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Reposted from cooledpizza

kiamisdeluxe, juneocallagh and cooledpizza like this

If I have to fight for your attention then you can just keep that shit.

Reposted from MissB

juneocallagh likes this

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

Reposted from anonymous

juneocallagh and RandomHero1981 like this

there's plenty of fish in the sea, you just suck at fishing.

Reposted from avant-garde

juneocallagh and avant-garde like this

The worst part of
holding memories
is not the pain.
It's the loneliness.
Memories need to
be shared.

Reposted from JodieT

juneocallagh likes this

We're all lunatics here..

Reposted from JodieT

juneocallagh, RandomHero1981 and beautifulqueen like this

Do you have a "swear jar," or what? I'll help you fucking fill that shit, and you can buy me drinks!!

Reposted from anonymous

juneocallagh, PenSword72 and GabiGabler like this

The remote control can't get up and put the DVD in..

..That's the main reason why I need a man.

Reposted from JodieT

juneocallagh likes this

Some days you just have to create your own sunshine

Reposted from Aishaaxx

juneocallagh likes this

You are the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo.....

Reposted from makalapua

makalapua likes this

They say that right before death, your life will flash before you like a movie.

Your goal in life should be to make that movie the best one you'll ever see

Reposted from Moon-D

Let's have a beer. And talk about how bad everything is.

Until we fall in love

Reposted from anonymous

If I told you to go fuck yourself would you need directions?

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

I regret some of the things I said last night......

I came up with way better insults this morning

Reposted from makalapua

makalapua likes this

why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Reposted from avant-garde

DON'T JUDGE
MY CHOICES
WITHOUT
UNDERSTANDING
MY REASONS

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

sometimes
all
we
really
need
is
for
someone
to
say
"i believe in you"

Reposted from EmilyTudor

RandomHero1981 likes this

i hate being awoken in the middle of my sleep to pee.

Reposted from annairie

annairie likes this

Family:

You laugh with them

You learn from them

You fight with them...

...But deep down you'll
always love them.

Reposted from kj55

kj55 likes this

Every man thinks that the dream of every woman is to find the perfect man.

BULLSHIT

The dream of every woman is to eat without getting fat!

Reposted from Luenchen

Luenchen likes this

I want something else to get me through this semi-charmed Kind of Life

Reposted from RandomHero1981

if you think i am going to be one of those people that sit around and be nice, you are wrong.

i am gon' be real, say things you might not want to hear, and if you can't handle it, you better get the hell outta here.

Reposted from jude

"Being single does not mean you're weak. It means you are strong enough to wait on what you deserve."
- Niall Horan

Reposted from anonymous

ene likes this

I'm one of the nicest assholes you could ever hope to meet.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

I can look you dead in your face while you're talking, and not hear a damn thing you said.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

One day he'll wake up and realize how amazing she really was and when that day comes, she'll be waking up next to a man who already knew.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

Best friends? Bitch, we're sisters!

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

I realize that people that smile and laugh the most are the ones who are suffering the most.

Because laughter isn't only the best medicine, it's also the best disguise.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

Show a girl you don't care and she'll chase you. Show a woman you don't care and she'll replace you.

Reposted from wiltun

If we are not supposed to drink and drive why does every bar have a fucking parking lot.

Reposted from anonymous

ccz6ih and crishoni4280 like this

I'm not drunk, I'm just exhausted from a long night of drinking.

Reposted from anonymous

Find someone who makes you feel drunk when you're sober.

Reposted from anonymous

ccz6ih likes this

Tonight I will drink heavily.

Tomorrow I will sleep late.

The early bird can have the fucking worm. Because mornings and worms both suck.

Reposted from anonymous

crishoni4280 likes this

Non drinkers always say too many people die because of alcohol.

They always forget how many more are born BECAUSE OF IT.

Reposted from anonymous

"money can't
make you happy"

WELL IT SURE AS HELL AIN'T GONNA MAKE ME SAD

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde likes this

"I HAVE TO ENDURE ALL YOUR SHIT AND YOU ONLY HUG ME WHEN YOU'RE DRUNK."

-THE TOILET

Reposted from BJcore

Not drinking gives me a headache.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

You don't know real love until you have loved an animal.

Reposted from FrogLegs

I don't want the perfect

I want the right ONE

Reposted from aehmpaeh

aehmpaeh likes this

Where do spiders find dates?

On the web.

Reposted from MissB

ccz6ih likes this

I hope you all find someone who gives you cute names and tells you it's adorable when you do embarrassing things and hugs you when it's early in the morning and makes you feel like you have a whole disneyland fireworks show going off inside your body and never ever lets you go

Reposted from avant-garde

avant-garde and ccz6ih like this

Rest in Peace, Mrs. Doubtfire.

Reposted from RandomHero1981

just wanted to update everyone on the fact that absolutely nothing new is happening in my life

Reposted from jano

I like storms..
they let me know
that even the sky
screams too •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. likes this

The mirror is my best friend because when I cry it never laughs.

(Charles Chaplin)

Reposted from guggigirl

Maybe she's not on her period... Maybe you are just an asshole....

Reposted from ulvepigentinke

If you could read my mind I'm pretty sure you'd be traumatized for life.

Reposted from anonymous

Be with a guy who ruins your lipstick, not your mascara.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker likes this

The officer said "You drinking?"
I said "You buying?"
We laughed and laughed...

I need bail money.

Reposted from anonymous

Fuck mornings, fuck early work hours, fuck alarm clocks...

Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex, or bacon.

Reposted from anonymous

LeTii likes this

Would you like me to seduce you?

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 likes this

My second language is drunkese.

Reposted from chipdicks

I bloody love you.

But, touch my cake, and I'll flatten you.

Reposted from JodieT

Bra sizes:
A- almost boobs.
B- barely boobs.
C- can't complain.
D- dang.
DD- double dang.
E- enormous.
F- fake.
G- get a reduction.
H- help me I've fallen and can't get up.

Reposted from JodieT

Most things
I write,
Come from
the heart,
The mind,
Or the bottom of a wine glass.

Reposted from JodieT

be who you are, and not what they want you to be

Reposted from tk93

be who you are, and not what they want you to be

Reposted from tk93

Drunk people run stop signs.

High people wait for them to turn green.

Reposted from anonymous

LeTii likes this

You may not be Mr. Right, but I'll fuck you until he shows up.

Reposted from tk93

LeTii likes this

i wish I could remember how much fun I had last night...

Reposted from Loupi4614

Loupi4614 likes this

I have mixed drinks about feelings

Reposted from avant-garde

Whoever is in charge of making sure I don't do stupid shit is fired.

Reposted from anonymous

I wanna be there when karma ass fucks you with a cactus.

Reposted from anonymous

I hate when people tell me swearing isn't necessary.

I'm fucking vulgar not stupid

I know it isn't fucking necessary.

Reposted from anonymous

Don't be mad because I don't care anymore.
Be mad because I once did, and you fucked it up.

Reposted from anonymous

Alcohol kills brain cells, but not the ones that make me drink.

Reposted from misterlab

LeTii likes this

I work hard so my dog can have a better life.

Reposted from anonymous

I hate people that say "She's a nice person once you get know her."

They might as well just say "She's a fucking bitch but you'll get used to it."

Reposted from anonymous

I hate people that say "She's a nice person once you get know her."

They might as well just say "She's a fucking bitch but you'll get used to it."

Reposted from anonymous

romantic slaps on the ass.

Reposted from anonymous

Alcohol because bad decisions can taste good.

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

It pisses me of when people at weddings always poke me and say you're next...

So I started saying the same thing to them at funerals.

Reposted from anonymous

I'm not saying
you're a slut.

I'm just saying if
your vagina had a password,
it would be 1234.

Reposted from anonymous

We have so much in common. You want to travel, & I want you to go.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

Insert a beer.

And i will do that thing what you call dancing.

Reposted from A.M.

My boss didnt know I drank, till one day I came to work sober.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker likes this

I want you to know that somebody cares.
Not me, but someone.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

I have tonight off so if anyone's free let's go somewhere &

look at our phones together.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

DON'T EVER CHANGE
JUST GET NAKED

Reposted from soyy

So you think I'm weird?

That's ok, you'll be sure in a minute.

Reposted from Moon-D

People are never satisfied even after they get what they wanted. Dumbasses.

Reposted from anonymous

supermom likes this

You're not fat! C'mon, chin up.

No, the other one...

Reposted from manutd7770

Simetimes I just sit and think.

Other times I just sit and drink.

Reposted from misterlab

misterlab likes this

1998
is as far away as 2030.

Are you feeling old yet?

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

My doctor told me to start killing people...

Well not exactly, his exact words were to, "Reduce or eliminate stress". Same difference.

Reposted from anonymous

RamonaStewart and coco03 like this

Lips that touch liquor touch other lips quicker

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker likes this

So you think I'm weird?

That's ok, you'll be sure in a minute.

Reposted from Moon-D

coco03 likes this

You're a special kind of fucked aren't you

Reposted from anonymous

coco03 likes this

Kiss me like your ex is watching

Reposted from Takkie

Takkie likes this

I'm a woman. I don't know what I want, but I get mad if I don't get it.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii and Ms_Ntlebi like this

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

Reposted from bold

LeTii likes this

Friends are angels who lift us to our feet when our wings have trouble remembering how to fly. :¶

Reposted from buglove

i'm becoming a turbobitch

AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE

Reposted from brody

I'M NAKED UNDER THESE CLOTHES!

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

That awkward
moment when you fart, thinking nobody
else is around...

Reposted from kj55

coco03 and kj55 like this

getting into a relationship may seem like a good idea but so was getting on the Titanic and look what happened there

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii, tk93 and Ms_Ntlebi like this

Sorry I pissed you off, but I find you much more entertaining this way.

Reposted from 2schaa

2schaa likes this

"Who the fuck stole my...
nevermind found it."

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii, coco03 and Ms_Ntlebi like this

Making love is like mp3 download: clumsy people pay, the smart ones do it for free

Reposted from Babs_77

Babs_77 likes this

I'M NOT SEXY,
BUT I DON'T KNOW IT.

Reposted from Akatrine

tk93 likes this

Cherish always, anyone
who prompts the question, whether thought or spoken, "Where have you been all my life?"

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 likes this

Why is it that when you think of someone you like, the tendency to smile like a blithering idiot shortly comes after?

Reposted from annairie

One thing that is never going to change is the past.

Being ok with that makes all
the difference.

Reposted from anonymous

LeTii likes this

My face may look all fucked up, but, I'm proud, it's the only one I have. And, for the most part, it attracts the best kind of people, too.

Reposted from anonymous

LeTii and PenSword72 like this

do you ever wonder how many people notice you? but you don't notice them because you're to busy noticing someone else who'll probably never even notice you?

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

A relationship is only for two people, but some bitches don't know how to count.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

NukeSkywalker and ccz6ih like this

taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 3 hours? in 9 years? no one can be sure

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii and Ms_Ntlebi like this

Tomorrow's a new day and another chance to fuck things up just a little bit differently.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

ME, MY PILLOW AND
MY BED

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

i'm drunk! has nothing to do with the bags, just wanted everyone to know.

Reposted from eliane

WE ARE EDIBLE
TO EACH OTHER, TOO

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 likes this

No one ever gets tired of loving.

But people may get tired of waiting, assuming, hearing lies, saying sorry and hurting.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii and Ms_Ntlebi like this

soon as you realize love is in the air, somebody farts.

Reposted from Pattsicle31

LeTii likes this

If only we had more time to do nothing together.

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 likes this

I don't know which of my multiple personalities to choose.

Reposted from anonymous

It's not so hot in herrre*, but take off all your clothes,

anyway?
Hi.

Reposted from anonymous

PenSword72 likes this

You post all of your drama on Facebook

then get upset when people judge you?

You really must be a special kind of stupid.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii and Ms_Ntlebi like this

I need a hug.

Or six shots of vodka.

You know what, screw the hug...

Reposted from jakobking13

LeTii likes this

If Eskimos sit on the ice too long, do they get "Polaroids"?

Reposted from misterlab

LeTii likes this

I feel like I'm going mad; I keep grabbing more beer but the one in front of me is always empty

Reposted from brody

fuckin
heart,
obey!

Reposted from anonymous

abe likes this

You are like the first slice of bread in the bag, everybody touches you but noone really wants you

Reposted from acos2

SPENDING THE NIGHT WITH YOU IS WORTH ANY BAG UNDER MY EYES.

Reposted from Akatrine

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

LeTii likes this

Time really flies when you take two naps a day •

Reposted from Lirpae..

Lirpae.. and LeTii like this

I don't like to think before I speak, I like to be just as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii and Ms_Ntlebi like this

When your phone doesn't have enough battery to take pictures or make a call, but has enough battery to remind you every 10 fuckin' seconds that the battery is low!

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

Perhaps fuck off might be too kind, I'd say "go to hell", but I don't want to see you ever again.

Reposted from Pesca

Pesca likes this

IF GRAVITY DISAPPEARED
I WOULD STILL HOLD ON TO YOU

Reposted from anonymous

magicalwordsforyou and ccz6ih like this

YOU ARE AMAZING. Don't you forget that!

Reposted from coco03

coco03 likes this

I just love seeing people walking by with little smiles on their faces because something small happened that made them happy. Maybe they got a cute text, maybe they got laid, maybe they killed a man. You never know.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

LeTii, Ms_Ntlebi and ccz6ih like this

Beds are sl*ts.
They sleep with everyone.

Reposted from kj55

ccz6ih and kj55 like this

If someone gives you the middle finger, ask them, "what time?".

Reposted from kj55

kj55 likes this

I just don't know
what to say

I think of you every
night and day

I wish you were here

I wish I was there

I'd love to be with
you anywhere

Reposted from kj55

LeTii and kj55 like this

That one friend you'll always love too much but could never endure a relationship with

Reposted from brody

#to, #randall

You make me smile...

And also super horny, but that's not the point.

Reposted from MeMyselfAnd..I

ccz6ih likes this

Don't be sad laundry,
no one is doing me either

Reposted from anonymous

coco03, Slotter6 and ccz6ih like this

Roses are red, my screen is blue.

And I'm sitting here thinking WTF did I do

Reposted from jakobking13

LeTii likes this

Just got a booty call from life , apparently it wants to keep fucking me !!

Reposted from angelbabyymf

Just got a booty call from life , apparently it wants to keep fucking me !!

Reposted from angelbabyymf

I don't give a fuck.
I mean I do, but fuck it.

Reposted from edwin_vkbyvk

having a vagina doesn't stop me from believing that my balls are bigger than yours.

Reposted from beesmoove

Let's get drunk and fall in love every other weekend.

Reposted from sarcaSM

Wear me like you mean it.

Reposted from Fitzie

life is what happens when you put your phone down.

Reposted from anonymous

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

Reposted from Nanoolsen

I live for the nights that I can't remember with the people I won't forget.

Reposted from TheHoodgirl

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

Reposted from cubjurholt

Tequila + me = lucky you!

Reposted from julian1921

ccz6ih likes this

WANTED :
Partner In Crime

Must be fluent in sarcasm, up for all types of shenanigans and have my back 24/7.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

You only live once, but if you do it right... Once is enough!

Reposted from theDon

I just rescued some vodka.

It was trapped
in a bottle...

Reposted from Loupi4614

Vaginas are like the weather; if it's wet, it's time to go inside.

Reposted from FreeBird

Growing a beard is so much easier than developing a personality!

Reposted from GaylrdSprFckr

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

I'd like to offer moral support but I have questionable morals.

Reposted from snajsig

The only Pill that would make me Happy is the one that brings you back to life.

Reposted from RandomHero1981

Dear bitch, first of all you should know I am typing
this with my middle finger...

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

Step aside coffee, this is a job for alcohol.

Reposted from Ms_Ntlebi

Ms_Ntlebi likes this

that awkward moment when I'm drunk
and you're still ugly

Reposted from snajsig