Greydon's Posts

No democracy? We will fight against you to force you.

USA. Every single time.

#democracy, #usa, #war

Sneakers.

Don't let running happen to you.

#sneaker, #sneakerness

Moon-D and stephinity like this

That awkward moment

when your crush becomes best friends with you

#that, #awkward, #moment

Proceline likes this

Oh
oops.

Sorry.

do shit

before it starts to stink

#shit, #stink

If you ask a girl if she's pregnant and she says no and she asks why, only way to disarm the situation:

"I thought this because your tits have grown"

#girl, #pregnant, #tits, #fat

blue doesn't always mean sad

it can mean blue

#blue, #sad, #meaning

janem803 and mjf like this

5% of people are good in Maths. I belong to the other 5%.

Proceline, bold, SimonLauper and hebdifescht like this

Lieber Gras rauchen als Heu schnupfen.

#rauchen, #schnupfen

Seen this written on a wall
THINGS I HATE:
1. VANDALISM 2. IRONY
3. CAPS
4. LISTS

#wall, #graffiti, #irony

PenSword72, newbe, perellano and Proceline like this

bold likes this

B sits at PC
A: what are you watching?
B: Nothing

Pornhub. World's biggest archive of nothing.

What path does a crazy person take to get home?

The psychopath.

#crazy, #path, #psychopath

Proceline and bold like this

My easter bunny was castrated

Now he's a bunny

#bunny

I say I have the body of a God!!

Yeah buddha says my wife.

Reposted from pashley65

Today is Sunday.
This means, tomorrow is Monday.

;_; :'(

#weekend, #Sunday, #Monday

Boy: Hi.
Girl: Do I know you?
Boy: I am rich
Girl: Oh hey, I'm Katy, nice to meet you!
Boy: my name is "rich"
Girl: Sorry, I don't talk to boys

#boy, #girl, #rich

To improve the taste of salad, just add pizza.

#taste, #pizza

We cook bacon and bake cookies.

Something clearly went wrong with English.

#bacon, #cookies

Proceline and SEOlaf like this

War is when the government tells you who the enemy is.

Revolution is when you find out for yourself.

#war, #revolution

They all laughed when I said I was going to be a comedian.

Well they're not laughing now.

#comedian, #laugh

Proceline likes this

I opened my heart for you

Now I bleed to death

#heart, #bleed

SMS to my wife:
I'll be home in 20 min. If haven't arrived then, read this message again.

#wife, #home, #sms

mjf, Luenchen, yesyooor, atrano, gautreaux_507, SYB, derkaranitsch, Butch, avant-garde, hebdifescht and 2 others like this

reposted by NukeSkywalker, pashley65, raffizh and SYB

Monday-Friday
5 Days

Saturday-Sunday
2 Days

t(-_-t)

#week, #weekend, #Monday, #Friday, #Saturday, #Sunday

Never run with scissors.

Someone else could run with rock and beat you.

#scissors, #rock, #paper, #joke

Alexander der Grosse sagte einst zu seinen Soldaten:

"Steigt auf das Schiff."