allizdog's Posts

Have you ever smelt a lotion so luscious, that you check to see if it's edible?

purplechill likes this

I swear im so close to blocking my parents on whatsapp. Im on the edge, i cant take these chain messages anymore!

prubton and emiledi77 like this

Mum: Stop shouting, Max.

Me: I'm not shouting my voice is just loud!

Sleight of Mouth at its finest.

emiledi77 and NerdWord like this

Just screenshotted the freakiest nude on snap my girl has ever sent. Checked Photos to "observe" it in it's full glory to find my storage was full and it didnt save. Fuck my life

prubton and emiledi77 like this

Everybody has a plan until they get punched in the mouth

purplechill and emiledi77 like this

Humble pie is like cod liver oil. It taste like shit, but nonetheless it is good for you

emiledi77 likes this

Its funny how people would rather be certain about their failure than uncertain about their success

emiledi77 and purplechill like this

You don't have to hang out with enemies, even if they are within yourself.

purplechill and emiledi77 like this

All of my friends are getting married whilst im still busy sending gifs on Tinder

emiledi77 likes this

Whoever it is knocking at the door interupting the metaphysical hangover i'm nursing.. GO F#&K YOURSELF

purplechill and emiledi77 like this

I hope you practice safe Netflix over the holidays guys

emiledi77 likes this

Its hotter than Saruman's sweatshop today in Cyprus and I Lurvvv it!

SarcasticAssO and emiledi77 like this

plenty of people to do something with, but no one to do nothing with

janem803, SarcasticAssO, Authlander, emiledi77 and PenSword72 like this

reposted by emiledi77

"What rhymes with orange?"
- "No. It doesn't."

Reposted from Lieutenant

Lieutenant likes this

The last of human freedoms - the ability to choose one's attitudes in a given set of circumstances.

PenSword72 and Authlander like this

reposted by emiledi77

Sonny's "Door Test" still applies to uber. Think i found me a keeper!

Authlander and PenSword72 like this

worrying is fantasizing in the wrong direction

Reposted from ErikSmit

ErikSmit likes this

Love is like a fart.

If you have to force it, it's probably shit.

Reposted from blackboxmagic

jodib likes this

"You know what? Life does not get better. You do. You get better."

Reposted from menas1988

Authlander likes this

The sex was so good even the neighbours had a cigarette.

Reposted from 27thAvenue

jodib likes this

10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion.

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.

Reposted from swatchUSA

janem803, PenSword72, PolhuntP and swatchUSA like this

Go out and do something. It isn't your room thats a prison, its yourself.

Reposted from MissB

DominicLomax and PolhuntP like this

Everyone wants to be heard in their silence

Reposted from anonymous

I refuse to go bungee jumping. ..I came into this world because of a broken rubber and I ain't leaving because of one

Reposted from shubhmk

jodib and hensch like this