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I'm friendly, but it isn't easy to be my friend

29

Whenever there's
an awkward
silence, try
whispering,
"Did you forget
your line?"

24

Okay. I think I've said too much.

Now my notifications tell me that someone 'wanked' my post.

Which makes me horny, by the way.

14

If a tomato is a fruit... then is ketchup a smoothie?

24

Thank you, dear alcoholics.

13

*meeting gf's parents for the first time-*

* shakes hand*

" hi I'm a big fan of your work.."

18

Wieso wird ein Neutron nicht in die Disco gelassen?

- "Zutritt nur für geladene Gäste"

18

Attached at the soul,

not the hip.

10

Women can't understand a man's point of view.

Men can't understand a woman's point of view.

That's the reason why man and woman can't ever argue.

5

(-.-)
-<>-

9

peanuts
or how youYawn
give
hashtags
#pee
#nuts

14

Let's have a really private conversation and just use body language

10

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