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I had the epiphany
that laughter was light, and light was laughter,
and that this was the secret of the universe.

- Donna Tartt,
The Goldfinch

21

One day I went to play Pinball where my friend worked. I had a bunch of quarters on the seat of my truck.

I did not want to dig into my purse to find them. So I put them all in my bra.

I started pulling them out while I was talking to her. A waitress stopped and stared at me.

My reply to her was "I am the worst stripper ever!"

15

Can you describe yourself in two words?

Lazy.

10

No matter how much you dance and prance, the last few drops go down your pants.

6

As I was going up the stair,
I saw a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today.
I wish, oh wish he'd stay away.

(unknown author)

9

Knowlegde is to know that a tomato is a fruit.
Wisedom is not to put it into the fruit salad.

7

The only right food is the stuff you can pick from the soil
or the tree or...
it has a mum and daddy.

7

We're just ordinary people
We don't know which way to go
Cuz we're ordinary people
Maybe we should take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow (Take it slow oh oh ohh)
This time we'll take it slow

6

You wrecked me, but yet I apologized!!!

5

There was a going away party for the Priest at my Church. While I was standing there looking at the cake a friend hit came up to me who is blind. "What's written on the cake?" she asked. I told her, "Just walk up and feel the cake." I told her, "They have it written in especially for you."

4

shut your mouth
and eat!

3

I was reminded that my blood type is

Be Positive

2

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