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I left you a Fuck-it note. It's like a Post-it note, only it's not yellow.

23

A christian telling an atheist he is going to hell

Is about as scary as a small child telling an adult they won't get any presents from santa

19

Telling me you're at 20% body fat, is as interesting as telling me
what you had for dinner.

19

Dear people who write imaginary letters to inanimate objects and strangers.

They can't read them. Unfortunately, we can. Please stop.

Sincerely,

Me.

17

Oh thank the sweet imaginary lord,
it's payday!

9

The delivery guy who just came to my door didn't appreciate my morning jig, OR my comedic references to his funny patterned socks.
What's a girl to do?

7

There is never a moment

Where I don't feel uncomfortable, or out of place, anxious, or desperately miserable.

Luckily, I have booze!

6

I would rather, and on more than one occasion actually have, punch myself in the face than deal with this social situation.

5

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