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HR sent an email about procrastination at work.

I haven't opened it yet.

18

Warum ist der Magnet männlich?

-> Wäre er weiblich, wüsste er nicht, was er anziehen soll.

16

If you think it's expensive to hire a professional, wait until you hire an amateur.

14

What do ya do when ya can't fall asleep?

12

have a purrfect day out

11

90, 90, 96 hours to go.......I wanna be sedated.

9

Of all the things I've lost, I miss the shoes that I KNOW I had on at my brothers wedding!

8

Love doesn't make the world go 'round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.

~ Franklin P. Jones

8

Real pirates use a chainsaw

Hrrr Hrrr Hrrr

6

There is hope and a kind of beauty in there somewhere, if you look for it

H.R. Giger

6

You get talent when you discover the ground of your pain.

H. R. Giger

6

I know one woman who didn't have a Happy Thanksgiving or a very Merry Christmas, but I think she might be having a Happy Valentines Day!

6

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