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dear diary
the therapist at school said my ‘darth vader obsession’ is just a frantic plea to show my family i am worth saving but i choked him and threw him off a ledge

3

*rises from couch with blanket wrapped around his shoulders*
*dramatically throws off blanket*

2

is murder a good date activity
what if we have ravioli beforehand

2

i’m nice men

1

*force-pulls your pigtail*

1

no this *is* a lightsaber in my pants actually but i'm also quite pleased to see you

1

dance like no one is watching except the ghosts of your enemies who could theoretically be watching at any time and will not let you alone

i guess don’t dance

1

dear diary
sometimes i think my mom would relate to me better if i were more dashing and roguish
so i’m taking up calligraphy

1

a relationship is when you listen to someone talk with your shirt on and also off

1

what base is it when she tears your lightsaber in half

1

im carrying this lightsaber to promote social distancing

stay back

1

how long should you wait in a relationship before you have the talk about sand

1

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