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You never hear in the news,

'Two hundred killed today when athiest rebels took heavy shelling from the agnostic stronghold in the north.'

10

If you're gonna get your medical advice from a TV doctor, you might as well just get the advice from Dr Dre or Dr Seuss.

Because at least that way, the bad advice you get will rhyme...

8

I drink to have a good time. It's a failsafe. I take whatever mundane shit I was doing anyway, and I pour booze on it, and within a short amount of time - it's fantastic.

I have a problem? No, lady, I have a solution.

5

I don't even understand the connection.
'Died for your sins'
What is.. how...
'He died for your sins' Well, how does one affect the other?

I fuckin' hit myself in the foot with a shovel for your mortgage.

4

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