svenZ's Posts

du musst nicht dein Leben ändern, sondern dein Ändern leben

guggigirl likes this

CHletting, haddock, _Nathalie_, dreamworld and guggigirl like this

guess who's back?

guggigirl, mir-jam and Pesca like this

Why is Peter Pan always flying? He neverlands...

I love this joke, because it never grows old...

hekasa, vivca, guggigirl, brody, fuechsin, kj55 and begrian like this

make the money! don't let the money make you

JenniJulia, musissy, begrian, kj55, aehmpaeh and againandagain like this

Was soll heissen das Alter ist nur eine Zahl? Alter ist ein Wort. Ein sogar meist dummes, wenn es am Anfang eines Satzes verwendet wird.

MaScho, musissy, ZoJ, beside, againandagain and Luenchen like this

I'm not an alcoholic,

I'm a soberphobic.

JenniJulia, brody, misterlab, Babs_77, Lirpae.. and DonSpaccafurnu like this

Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in the world, there's an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH".

GuitarArnie, kj55, foreignG, MeMyselfAnd..I, mrpyatt02, bold, guggigirl, kolarg, Lirpae.. and juergmettler like this

reposted by foreignG

Don't be 16 and Pregnant.

Be 18 and Graduated.

musissy, Babs_77, mariechen_xo, Roel, beesmoove, kj55, againandagain, beside, Junomea, MeMyselfAnd..I and 3 others like this

reposted by SoftballLover

MEphobia

the fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it

JenniJulia, vivca, llomholt, Roel, Babs_77, suingomat, Lirpae.., avant-garde and lollip like this

I wonder what is worse for your lungs; Smoking, or walking into an Abercrombie store...

steffi, chillout, nicoleyeary, BJcore, 5011wireless, kolelo, ianredsox, musissy, MeMyselfAnd..I, Pesca and 3 others like this

reposted by nicoleyeary

Roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poetry, show me your boobs.

philthy69, fool, llomholt, againandagain, musissy and aehmpaeh like this

a meal without wine is called breakfast

hebdifescht, llomholt, guggigirl, unflat, vivca, poenky, mehr, Lirpae.., beesmoove, _Nathalie_ and 3 others like this

Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name. Coincidence? I think not...

mjf, vivca, misterlab, Babs_77, MeMyselfAnd..I, juergmettler, lollip, guggigirl, hebdifescht and kolarg like this

September

the monday of the year

philthy69, vivca, photosbynae, 27thAvenue, acmepost, dreamworld, MeMyselfAnd..I, aehmpaeh and Babs_77 like this

"Polar bears can't jump."

-Black bears

If women ruled the world there would be no wars, just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other.

jenivet, mariechen_xo, Luenchen, Lirpae.., poenky, soene, MeMyselfAnd..I, maggy, classy_cassie and musissy like this

reposted by MeMyselfAnd..I

neuer nationalsport:

sexboxen

ZoJ, fruitgarden, Lirpae.., Luenchen, Babs_77 and juergmettler like this

I never use turn signals... It's nobody's damn business where I'm going.

steffi, hebdifescht, fool, Babs_77, kolarg and mariechen_xo like this

Things guys dont say: Nice crocs bro!

misterlab, Babs_77, musissy, lollip, soene, fool, SimonLauper and Lirpae.. like this

Whoever Shawty is, she apparently has a lot of rapper boyfriends.

That awkward moment when you talk to yourself and you start smiling like an idiot because youre just so hilarious.

vivca, misterlab, MeMyselfAnd..I, elephantasia, Babs_77, llomholt, Lirpae.., nano560, musissy, kkim and 4 others like this

I'm that bridge jumping friend your mother warned you about.

MeMyselfAnd..I, Babs_77, Lirpae.., musissy, Luenchen and nano560 like this

Trust me, when I woke up today it wasn't planned to
be so sexy!

but things happen

mynameisasal, kolarg, hillbillymitch, Babs_77, Pesca and musissy like this

I got 99 chores & I ain't did one! - Lay Z

mjf, photosbynae, Duncan, piepa, makalapua and beesmoove like this

reposted by Duncan and photosbynae

I'm not lazy!!!

I'm just extremely motivated to do nothing

Vandala, misterlab, exiter, sven01ch, nano560, sera_la_dera, Babs_77, suingomat, maggy, Lirpae.. and 3 others like this

I don't make typos... I invent new words.

kolarg, musissy, Babs_77, Roel and bold like this

Dear Alcohol, We had a deal where you make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer. Sincerely, I saw the video... we need to talk.

mynameisasal, photosbynae, vivca, Lirpae.., kolarg, Babs_77, MeMyselfAnd..I, whyn03, kj55, Luenchen and 1 other like this

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.

mjf, lixnaw73, photosbynae, sera_la_dera, Lirpae.., kolarg, Babs_77, MeMyselfAnd..I, seth_m_y_k, ernstrose and 4 others like this

reposted by Aaryn_D

I forgot Rihanna's ex-boyfriend's name... And then it hit me...

mynameisasal, vivca, nathii, misterlab, ernstrose, kolarg, anonyman, Lirpae.., MeMyselfAnd..I, kj55 and 4 others like this

9 year olds have an iPhone, an iPad, a MacBook... When I was 9, I felt cool with my new markers.

WifeStorage, catmilkempire, truthseeker57, kj55, _Nathalie_, photosbynae, Romansp, vivca, ZoJ, A.M. and 7 others like this

reposted by Babs_77 and truthseeker57

that awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell, and then you hit the mirror...

perellano, _Hiding_, realsherryls, lollip, jayblue, brody, eylinacsah, maggy, kj55, naebitnae and 9 others like this

reposted by naebitnae, jayblue, malwal and Lydiacatlady

I wish more things could be blamed on autocorrect.

Reposted from hemko

stephinity, naebitnae, Lirpae.., ernstrose, _Nathalie_, kj55 and hemko like this

hab heute dem zeitungsboten aufs maul gehauen...denn wer austeilt, muss auch einstecken können

_Nathalie_, ZoJ, Lirpae.., yve74, Sven and jano like this

common sense is like deodorant - the people who need it most never use it

wickedpyxxie, Lirpae.., Fridaa, JuliaBredberg, 5011wireless, eveline, musissy, GuitarArnie, _Nathalie_, MeMyselfAnd..I and 9 others like this

Unus pro omnibus,
omnes pro uno

brody, hemko, Lirpae.., NowhereDom, fuechsin, begrian, _Nathalie_, danielfrei, musissy and Junomea like this

brüste sind das beste Beispiel, dass sich Männer auf zwei Dinge gleichzeitig konzentrieren können

Babs_77, juergmettler, NataliaMaria, marco-a, Lirpae.., ZoJ, fool, hebdifescht, musissy, anonyman and 1 other like this

reposted by Rolfbold

$againandagain . ; ; . / ; ; ; ; \ _ _ _ . ; ; . | ; ( ; ; ; - " " ` ' - . , ; ; ; ; ;| \ ; ' ' ; ; ; ) ; / / \ ; ; ' / . ; . . ; . \ | ; ; o ; ; ; ; o ; ; | ; ' " - ' ` ` ' - " ' | / \ . _ . / ; ; ; ; ; _ , _ Y _ , _ . ' / ; ; ; ; ; \`- - . ___ . - - ; . / | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; . __ . ; ; ; . \\ ; \ ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; \ ; \__ . ; . | ' ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; = ; ; ; ; ' | -__ ; ; ; ; / | ` " " ` . - - - . _ / ; /; ;\ ; ; / / ; / ; ; ; ; ; ; ; - ; /; ; / | ; / \_ , \ | ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; | | ' - . . .- - '; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; ; \/ ` " " " ` ` " `$

Reposted from anonymous

wickedpyxxie, begrian, misterlab, ZoJ, Grainnexxx, evvelina, atina, kj55, Sven, MeMyselfAnd..I and 2 others like this

we don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing

wickedpyxxie, kj55, Babs_77, halcaida, mulkiwalker, guzfox, ernstrose, rockboyjoey, Roel, Junomea and 11 others like this

reposted by 3m1n and Babs_77

sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap 8 people at once

cjsbabygirl, marinasundvall, Linneaelvira, photosbynae, wallifer, misterlab, MeMyselfAnd..I, kj55, ernstrose, izzi and 10 others like this

If you
Can
Dream
It,
You can
Do
It!

Reposted from anonymous

mynameisasal, photosbynae, stephinity, fruitgarden, begrian, LovisaLoveby, kj55, naebitnae, vrtx, mpsw and 2 others like this

Don't give up things that make you smile

Reposted from nwallinn

Babs_77, Fridaa, photosbynae, sarilarifari, fruitgarden, maritzebill, begrian, movi, kj55, naebitnae and 6 others like this

replying to idiots doesn't make you a smarter person

mikey6767, rgray007, Nina-Aliyah, vivca, bella78, misterlab, musissy, kolelo, Lirpae.., ernstrose and 5 others like this

respect your parents!!!

they passed school without google!!

Babs_77, Sven, sss63, barbaresco, rgray007, permanentwaves, kj55, caitlinpittkin, maggy, hebdifescht and 18 others like this

reposted by Babs_77

when
nothing
goes
right,

go
left.

Reposted from haekaru

vivca, marco-a, kj55, annabanan, pecegigios, mmcontreras28, ernstrose, kolelo, buntebilder, Lirpae.. and 5 others like this

$. \ • TAXI ! \ l \' l \ ' '$

Reposted from Claudio

naebitnae, aehmpaeh, kj55, BoldRecipes, fool, lollipop_1234, ernstrose, lexigarcia, kolelo, TheChosen and 16 others like this

Promote what you love instead of bashing what you hate.

Reposted from Boldomatic

Babs_77, brody, permanentwaves, kj55, annabanan, izzi, mmcontreras28, ansch, kolelo, anonyman and 2 others like this

Boobs are the proof that men can focus on 2things at once

KnightofSIAL, janem803, Mapiya, curvema, Vandala, atrano, scc38, dizzel, dangrb, Babs_77 and 57 others like this

reposted by LisaMonahan, philip15, philip15, Ville14, emelielinddal, kolelo, No1luvme, Sukiakina, becco87, tobbewest and 6 others

so if you cooler than me

does this mean I'm hotter than you?

brody, Fridaa, t_treeman, hemko, hubbabubba, edenvin, kj55, Angepinkod, jolinesteen, martinjo and 27 others like this

reposted by tranqilo and jeaneijman

nervenkostümverleih

MDC, Nina-Aliyah, 5011wireless, a.rodriguez85, ZoJ, laut, claudia, fruitgarden, Claudio, Lirpae.. and 2 others like this

reposted by raffizh

i'm not insulting you...

i'm describing you

brody, rgray007, kj55, wallifer, teresa, Claudio, justkenzie, swannee13, chillout, hebdifescht and 7 others like this

if you wanna go fast - go alone

if you wanna go far - go TOGETHER

riles, mameesa, jelectra, permanentwaves, teresa, gingerNinja, caitlinpittkin, darcielefort, fruitgarden, mrlazer and 8 others like this

reposted by mameesa

you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

_Nathalie_, brody, kj55, MDC, caitlinpittkin, darcielefort, mrlazer, Arsyah21, arm_8991, goldentree and 4 others like this

reposted by brody and Nikki0801

Everyone should
believe in something.

I believe I'll have another beer!

rgray007, teresa, darcielefort, A.M., anonyman and random_FOX like this

Lieber Pferde in der Lasagne, als Esel an der Macht

rgray007, suingomat, izzi, Luenchen, laut, pasquale85, ZoJ, hawtshyet, musissy and Nina-Aliyah like this

hoppla schorsch

rgray007, movi, izzi, alice_98, ZoJ, Luenchen, musissy, laut, guido and kolelo like this

An ugly personality destroys a pretty face •

Reposted from Lirpae..

kj55, MDC, facelessSKY, piepa, NukeSkywalker, lailaperaro, maggy, mrlazer, lollipop_1234, kolelo and 1 other like this

alle kinder essen lasagne. ausser paul der kannte den gaul.

Reposted from paulina

rgray007, _lindahell, sven01ch, pasquale85, musissy, _Nathalie_, ZoJ, laut and begrian like this

if your mum can't find it...it's gone FOREVER

hemko, facelessSKY, random_FOX, misakic, musissy, _Nathalie_, alice_98, pasquale85, chillout, emer and 9 others like this

Hört mal auf ständig auf der Lasagne rumzureiten

t_treeman, Pumuckel, HelterSkelter, fuechsin, Junomea, jared, lollipop_1234, pasquale85, musissy, begrian and 8 others like this

roses are red, violets are blue, vodka is cheaper than dinner for two!

wickedpyxxie, MDC, random_FOX, chillout, pasquale85, ansch, musissy, againandagain, jennola504, izzi and 3 others like this

Heute muss mein Glückstag sein! Ich habe ein Hufeisen in meiner Lasagne gefunden!

mjf, rgray007, Bigi, boni, unicornly, Luenchen, Lirpae.., _Nathalie_, fruitgarden, hebdifescht and 8 others like this

"Give it to me" she yelled, "I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now!"

She could scream all she wanted, I was keeping the umbrella.

mjf, kj55, sss63, hemko, rgray007, t_treeman, teresa, nathii, YellaSummer, Jurhan_Leyte and 7 others like this

Wer reitet so spät durch Nacht und Wind?

Es ist die Lasagne ohne Rind!

hemko, random_FOX, boni, begrian, guggigirl, _Nathalie_, jared, A.M., soene, guido and 5 others like this

Chase after your dreams in shoes that are comfortable.

-RhillThoughts

Reposted from RhillyVerse

facelessSKY, vivca, fruitgarden, arm_8991 and alice_98 like this

if you stand for nothing you will fall for anything

wallifer, annabanan, gingerNinja, facelessSKY, typca, fraenzi., LingLewandowski and alice_98 like this

Swaghetti Yolonese

poopy, ats, stephinity, janosh, againandagain, arm_8991, fruitgarden, piepa, ZoJ, musissy and 1 other like this

reposted by diannevaldez

I don't just want to be seen
I want to be remembered

Reposted from undefiniert_

facelessSKY, random_FOX, alice_98, arm_8991, Lirpae.., begrian and Luenchen like this

alle Kinder essen Lasagne, ausser Gerd, der mag kein Pferd

hemko, vivca, Maskenkind, jano, undefiniert_, summr, fruitgarden, juergmettler, musissy and _Nathalie_ like this

don't worry if you don't understand girls!
even girls don't understand girls

Schmanda, 3lif.ates, Nushia, sandrakvant, reboot, frysch, kalikristine, cupcakes, random_FOX, miablack and 11 others like this

reposted by sera_la_dera, miablack and 3lif.ates

Neu!

Lasagne mit 1 PS!

Reposted from YellaSummer

sera_la_dera, Junomea, annaz, _Nathalie_, juergmettler, poenky, ZoJ, movi, summr, againandagain and 3 others like this

räuber

+

poli

soene, fruitgarden, laut, Lirpae.., musissy, pasquale85 and Luenchen like this

In der Kantine spendierte sie Lasagne.
War aber versalzen.

Naja, was soll's.
Einem geschenkten Gaul schaut man nicht ins Maul.

Reposted from anonymous

BJcore, A.M., lollipop_1234, ZoJ and pasquale85 like this

everybody wants happiness, nobody wants pain but you can't have a rainbow without a little rain

random_FOX, vivca, janatinka, maggy, jennola504, alice_98, soene, chillout, Sven, pasquale85 and 6 others like this

if beer and women aren't the answer, then you are asking the wrong question

dangrb, vivca, chillout, pasquale85, hebdifescht, GaylrdSprFckr and Lirpae.. like this

reposted by GaylrdSprFckr

alle kinder essen lasagne, ausser ronny, der mag kein pony

Reposted from tanja

dreamworld, A.M., pasquale85, bold, fruitgarden, Junomea, guido and ZoJ like this

are you an idiot?

no sir, i'm a dreamer

mjf, Sven, lollipop_1234, pasquale85, laut and alice_98 like this

You don't have a Valentine?

Some people don't have a mother on mother's day or a father on father's day, so
SHUT UP!

Reposted from Lirpae..

johnflicker, YellaSummer, charlsten, alice_98, ZoJ, jennola504 and laut like this

give the mind the same attention you give your penis

mjf, hemko, pasquale85, chillout, hebdifescht, Arsyah21 and laut like this

horses these days: run before they FINDUS

gingerNinja, _Nathalie_, YellaSummer, charlsten, fool, Arsyah21, piepa and fruitgarden like this

reposted by fool and izzi

musissy, MySign, ZoJ, dreamworld, beesmoove and ansch like this

Please be patient with the bartender. Even a toilet can serve only one asshole at a time!

F1To, jennola504, alice_98, pasquale85, jano, pixtor, A.M., bold, kolelo and guido like this

reposted by diannevaldez

i just saved a bunch of money on valentine's day by switching to single

justdaly likes this

my date for valentine's day

dentist appointment

jennola504, justdaly, musissy, soene, pixtor, bold and _Nathalie_ like this

my degree if sarcasm depend on your degree of stupidity

etc.

end of thinking capacity

Reposted from anonymous

ernstrose, alice_98, Maskenkind, Roel and chillout like this

try to behave like a gentleman every time

it will never go out of fashion

ccz6ih, mrpyatt02, pasquale85, fruitgarden, guggigirl, Luenchen, soene and hebdifescht like this

i go pooping at work

because i like the thought to get paid for shitting

ernstrose, pasquale85, boni, chillout and hebdifescht like this

i'm not afraid of flying

i'm afraid of suddenly not flying

kj55, stephinity, saminays, toni_downing, Roel and soene like this

reposted by mrpyatt02

my love for you is growing and growing

you can probably feel that when i hug you

#valentine

lollipop_1234, chillout and toni_downing like this

Champions aren't made in the gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them: a desire, a dream, a vision.

hemko, alice_98, fruitgarden and atina like this

three terrible facts:

1. today is not friday

2. tomorrow is not friday

3. even the day after tomorrow is not friday

perellano, Sven, jennola504, Junomea, prismalo, maggy, kolelo, atina, sarcaSM, chillout and 2 others like this

reposted by guggigirl

I've told you 20 billion times not to exaggerate.

kj55, jennola504, fruitgarden, atina, guggigirl and GaylrdSprFckr like this

my teeth are so white, they can't dance

Bigi, gingerNinja, Junomea, JohnLemon, piepa, pasquale85, againandagain, hebdifescht and bold like this

reposted by brody

8h of sleep isn't cool! you know what is cool?

8h and 9min of sleep!

karinasasek, musissy, Lirpae.., poenky, boni and jessiika like this

hate is
easy

love is
courage

riles, Sven, Ella01, jennifer97, alice_98, guggigirl, musissy, LingLewandowski, maggy, fruitgarden and 3 others like this

if you don't like where you are: MOVE! you are not a tree!

Authlander, JuliaBredberg, begrian, guggigirl, chillout, musissy, mir-jam, Roel and soene like this

der Papst tritt zurück um mehr zeit mit seinen kindern verbringen zu können

hemko, fruitgarden, pasquale85, guido, soene, _Nathalie_, hebdifescht, ZoJ, danielraschle and BJcore like this

back in my days, there was a word for people that say they have "swag"

RETARDED

stephinity, GaylrdSprFckr and toni_downing like this

it's hard to score without a goal

__________
||======= ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
|| ||
::::::: || ::::::: ||
::::::::::: :::::::::::
::::::: :::::::

Turn up the music

Reposted from anonymous

principessa_r, _Nathalie_, fruitgarden, musissy, ZoJ and toni_downing like this

why does toilet paper need commercials?

who is not buying this?

hemko, stephinity, izzi, kolelo, jano, nadjeshda, fruitgarden and Lirpae.. like this

diapers and politicans should be changed often

both for the same reason

stephinity, anonyman, bold, pixtor, hebdifescht and pasquale85 like this

color of your pants
+
the last thing you ate
=
your band name

gloriaRN, marco-a, frysch, Ella01, sss63, alinaaa27, delaghetto_, random_FOX, catheriiine, diwamoto2010 and 33 others like this

reposted by drebbit, kkim, janatinka, elaranjr, steadyme, catheriiine, cassy, Ella01 and cedbuzz

oh my god, these boobs look heavy!

may i hold them for you?

kolelo, fruitgarden, dreamworld, pasquale85, Lirpae.. and Nina-Aliyah like this

dä lift isch kaputt!

häsch es scho mal mit abe und wieder uefahre probiert?

ZoJ, fruitgarden, A.M. and Lirpae.. like this

i'm sorry i listened to what you said and NOT what you meant

chillout, soene, lehoo11, kolelo, fruitgarden, justdaly, Junomea, pasquale85, Lirpae.., jano and 1 other like this

Dear sneeze, If you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and leave it at that. Sincerely, I look like an idiot.

colzeyxxx, steffi, lehoo11, _Nathalie_, rebiiriiot, maudapena, _Julia, justdaly, prismalo, Lirpae.. and 2 others like this

was?! du hast immer noch nicht mit der projektarbeit begonnen?

ja, diamanten entstehen unter druck

Sven, alice_98, kolelo, hebdifescht, janosh, soene, Lirpae.., A.M., tonjaselina, pasquale85 and 6 others like this

if you have chemistry, you only need one other thing...timing...but timing is a bitch

azkaban3000, Nina-Aliyah, cooter201, ansch, begrian and Lirpae.. like this

i'm so sick and tired of friends who can't handle alcohol

the other night they dropped me three times while carrying me to the car...

sushabtsols, mirjamjaeger, ingatoft, hemko, mecb, littlethings, kj55, musissy, Luenchen, Bigi and 6 others like this

reposted by mrpyatt02 and Denican

the world is our only home

be tolerant!

janosh, Lirpae.. and Luenchen like this

do no regret growing older. it's a privilege denied to many!

Bigi, Lirpae.., hebdifescht, fruitgarden, pasquale85, roveje, mir-jam and YellaSummer like this

reposted by roveje and diannevaldez

i haven't failed! i just found 10'000 ways that won't work

- Thomas Edison

reboot, Ella01, jmward, vivca, paigeymarie_13, arm_8991, fruitgarden, chillout and stephan like this

of course i talk to myself

sometimes i need a professional opinion

arm_8991, chillout, karinasasek, guggigirl and pasquale85 like this

WARNING

drinking alcoholic beverages before pregnancy can cause pregnancy

janem803, catmilkempire, Babs_77, brody, lollip, feeeenn, mayabzbz, _Nathalie_, stephinity, alice_98 and 6 others like this

reposted by Boldomatic, teldom, 0antonio0, ayeeilovefood, ecosta, khunbenja, chiaki26, hmiyazaki, tad333, tlow2323 and 1 other

i was wondering why the baseball is getting bigger

then it hit me

againandagain, _Julia, soene, pasquale85, Luenchen, begrian and Lirpae.. like this

soup of the day:

the tears of our enemies

pixtor, againandagain, sven01ch, stephan and Lirpae.. like this

reposted by saminays

a clean desk is a sign of a sick mind

againandagain, rebiiriiot and sven01ch like this

reposted by sven01ch

love is like a fart

if you have to force it, it's probably crap

Bigi, annaz, YellaSummer, maggy, Lirpae.. and bold like this

the guinness book?

you mean my biography

A.M., _Nathalie_, alice_98, rockboyjoey, fruitgarden, stephan, musissy, fraenzi. and Luenchen like this

do you have a date for valentines day?

yes! February 14th

Bigi, Jurhan_Leyte, BJcore, chillout and musissy like this

don't wait for a hero

become one instead

fruitgarden, alice_98, soene, Lirpae.. and begrian like this

if you wanna be well prepared for your exam

close this app. NOW!!!

agneymenon, SteveBob, mjf, vivca, fool, sarilarifari, fruitgarden, musissy, Arsyah21, xtiinax and 7 others like this

it's true alcohol kills people

but how many are born because of it?

kj55, Bigi, anonyman, stephinity, vivca, musissy, annaz, elephantasia, _Nathalie_, janosh and 4 others like this

vagina-jokes aren't funny

period

Reposted from lehoo11

Bigi, pasquale85, YellaSummer, maggy, _Nathalie_, poenky, againandagain, sven01ch and GaylrdSprFckr like this

if tomorrow isn't the due day, then today isn't the do day

pasquale85, justdaly, sloppytuesday, sarcaSM, Lirpae.. and GaylrdSprFckr like this

morning erections

your body's way of saying: "battery charged 100% - unplug and play"

littlethings, _Nathalie_, kolelo and ansch like this

my friend thinks he's smart. he said onions are the only food that makes you cry.

so i threw a coconut at his face!

nathii, darling_zee, juergmettler, elephantasia, Lirpae.., alice_98, Luenchen, LingLewandowski, len_10, chillout and 2 others like this

reposted by saminays

i'm too lazy to change the color of my bolds

lehoo11, Lirpae.., pasquale85, musissy and fruitgarden like this

Does your asshole get jealous of the shit that comes out of your mouth?

27thAvenue and Sven like this

communist until you get rich! feminist until you get married! atheist until the airplane starts falling!

riles, littlethings, ernstrose, vivca, _Nathalie_, hebdifescht, stephan, againandagain, fruitgarden, jano and 1 other like this

i don't always talk to arts students

but when i do i ask for large fries

principessa_r, boni, againandagain, lory-unicorn, Lirpae.. and rockboyjoey like this

if you wanna fight the power get the power to fight

BJcore, hebdifescht and ansch like this

don't stop believing

stephanschmid, vivca, lexigarcia, hebdifescht, NinjaGirl5851 and pasquale85 like this

what did the ball say to the other ball?

don't talk to the guy in the middle his a dick

vivca, nathii, hellomikael, chillout, LingLewandowski, principessa_r and Lirpae.. like this

wanna go on a date with me?

yes: smile
no: backflip

littlethings, vivca, LingLewandowski, soene, little_hippie, tonjaselina, againandagain, Lirpae.., musissy, pasquale85 and 1 other like this

(-.(-.(-.(-.-).-).-).-)

chinese mafia is watching you

Reposted from policante

nela81, vivca, movi, ludhip, fruitgarden, arm_8991, pasquale85, hebdifescht and kolelo like this

mirror is my best friend because when I cry it never laughs

Samwell, vivca, bailsburg, alice_98, LingLewandowski, janosh, little_hippie, _Nathalie_, leni, Lirpae.. and 3 others like this

it's so cold outside, i actually saw a gangsta pull his pants up

vivca, fool, chillout, Jurhan_Leyte, mrpyatt02, boni, NukeSkywalker, Luenchen, ansch, alice_98 and 2 others like this

beer is good but beers are better!

vivca, chillout, annalena_kle, stephinity, mischeli, ludhip and boni like this

i've met bread smarter than you...

Maskenkind, GuitarArnie, ludhip, alice_98, noahveit, miss_kimbrly and boni like this

she was perfect...

until i found her duckface photos!

ninjaliciou5, ludiluddha, vivca, Nina-Aliyah, ludhip, boinky, boni, xtiinax, jano and musissy like this

reposted by murietta

never laugh about your wife's choices

you are one of them!

atrano, petras.s., vivca, principessa_r, xtiinax, mischeli, _leonie1312, lexigarcia, hebdifescht, fruitgarden and 4 others like this

reposted by mischeli

tryin' to lose weight?

watch a documentary about the fast food industry

Sven, xtiinax, summr, lexigarcia and carmencannelle like this

durex

"helping you to avoid natural disasters"

Sven, arm_8991, darling_zee, bananike, fruitgarden, bettie_sailor, liza, LingLewandowski and sarilarifari like this

reposted by bettie_sailor

the better the vacuum cleaner the more it sucks

paigeymarie_13, liza and kolelo like this

today, the official day of doing nothing!

TRUE STORY

guggigirl, vivca, musissy, LingLewandowski and hebdifescht like this

GAY MARRIAGE is legal in 6 states, but having sex with a horse is legal in 23 states.

good going, america.

Reposted from awesam

vivca, _Nathalie_, chillout, charlsten, alice_98, miss_kimbrly, pasquale85, NinjaGirl5851, kathrinkeller, bold and 1 other like this

pornosucht ist übrigens ne krankheit, die man wegspritzen kann

misterlawl, kolelo, chalchbrenneli, NukeSkywalker, juergmettler, pasquale85, ZoJ, fruitgarden, piepa, boni and 1 other like this

there is no losing

only delayed victory

hemko, hebdifescht, kathrinkeller, kolelo, Lirpae.., Luenchen and RLPH like this

reposted by kolelo

die ersten Menschen waren nicht die letzten Affen

Reposted from chalchbrenneli

jano, againandagain, kolelo, xtiinax, Lirpae.., hebdifescht and ansch like this

please, be quiet! i'm very interesting!

Samwell and vivca like this

bei manchen frauen denke ich .. ist das schminke oder haben die beim paintball verloren?

Reposted from guido

movi, Nina-Aliyah, againandagain, stephinity, fruitgarden, ZoJ, MrJoeBanks, janosh and rebiiriiot like this

YOLO?
bitch, pls!
You mean Hakuna Matata!

Reposted from anonymous

prismalo, rockboyjoey, vivca, gaenggu, leni, boni, LingLewandowski and boinky like this

.my alarm clock killed my dreams.

Reposted from Dom

ludhip, stephinity, vivca, paigeymarie_13, ZoJ and Nina-Aliyah like this

trage deine frau auf händen, sonst musst du irgendwann zusehen, wie es ein anderer tut...

bananike, nela81, little_hippie, musissy and fruitgarden like this

if japanese pop is jpop?

then is chinese rap, crap?

brenzy, stephinity, NinjaGirl5851, musissy, lucapelloni, beesmoove, againandagain, hebdifescht and piepa like this

i am as motivated as the guy who drew the japanese flag.

Reposted from Duncanville

feeeenn, neezy, alice_98, fool, kolelo, sarcaSM, noahveit, soene, bold, janosh and 1 other like this

TOMORROW

a mystical land where 99% of all human productivity, motivation and achievement is stored

ganymed71, Mouni, juergmettler, Boldomatic, mehr, elunico, alice_98, Sven, boinky, bold and 1 other like this

reposted by Boldomatic, weverp, cedbuzz, inoperante2, ryndnls, 1l4r14 and arguellos

C. Ronaldo räumt sein Zimmer solange nicht auf, bis man ihn Messi nennt!

mjf, _Nathalie_, Sven, GuitarArnie, Aehkyae, ansch, little_hippie, leslucas, leni, pasquale85 and 1 other like this

attendance is not mandatory, but if you don't come to class, you won't do well

CHALLENGE ACCEPTED

liza and fruitgarden like this

l don't want to impress you or anything...
but i say VOLDEMORT outloud

JenniJulia, lexi12, vivca, ansch, hebdifescht and karinasasek like this

don't grow up - it's a trap

katrink., policante, soene, karinasasek, paigeymarie_13, liza, jessiika, hebdifescht and beesmoove like this

i'm actually a very nice person until you piss me off

enigma, nela81, soene, hawtshyet, vivca, bold, janosh, greysky27, karinasasek, beesmoove and 3 others like this

quack quack

MOTHERDUCKER

nela81, mrpyatt02, piepa, pasquale85 and boni like this

VEGETARIAN

ancient tribal slang for the village idiot who can't hunt, fish or ride

_Nathalie_ and vivca like this

VOTE FOR
NOBODY

nobody will keep the election promises

nobody will
listen to your concerns

nobody will help the poor & unemployed

_Nathalie_, jessiika, alice_98 and fruitgarden like this

RELIGIONSKRIEGE SIND KONFLIKTE ZWISCHEN ERWACHSENEN MENSCHEN, BEI DENEN ES DARUM GEHT, WER DEN COOLEREN IMAGINÄREN FREUND HAT.

Reposted from boni

ernstrose, enigma, _Nathalie_, vivca, soene, A.M., fool, janosh, jessiika, alice_98 and 5 others like this

once i had a contest with superman

the loser has to wear his underwear out of his pants for the rest of their life

morsan87, youckton.k, hebdifescht, strikesetswim, gaenggu, vivca, fool, mrpyatt02, chillout, bold and 5 others like this

reposted by fool and raffaela

just because you can't dance doesn't mean you shouldn't dance

-alcohol

aleksnom, sss63, cyzeah, pasquale85, bold, soene, Sven, chillout, rockboyjoey, hazelca and 7 others like this

weird is just a side effect of being awesome

nela81, juergmettler, kolelo, karinasasek, like.something, rockboyjoey, paigeymarie_13, Nina-Aliyah, austinroberts, atina and 4 others like this

my middle finger gets a boner when i think of you

hemko, Sven, paigeymarie_13, lexigarcia, eazyela, noel_W and alice_98 like this

girls are supposed to dance.

that's why god gave them parts that jiggle

inspired, fruitgarden, NukeSkywalker and alice_98 like this

resolution 2013

uninstall ignorance
install curiosity

Reposted from anonymous

austinroberts likes this

studies have shown that men actually like to cuddle in bed

studies have also shown that men are ready to say anything to get in bed with hot researcher

Lirpae.., Alibin, bold and mischeli like this

reposted by mischeli

2013...ich begrüsse sie

Nina-Aliyah likes this

My favourite part of attending a marathon is watching the reaction of runners who grab my plastic cup of vodka...

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

GaylrdSprFckr likes this

new year's resolution: date more
models

revised: date more
revised: get a date
revised one last time: stop crying while masturbating

Reposted from svenZ

fuechsin, darling_zee, vivca, fruitgarden and leni like this

your existence gives me diarrhea!

hemko, Lirpae.., darling_zee and lexigarcia like this

embrace yourself

my 100th post

hemko, vivca, austinroberts and guido like this

do you know what sucks?

a vacuum cleaner

Lirpae.., lexigarcia, Nina-Aliyah, vivca, boni, austinroberts, guido and GaylrdSprFckr like this

fuck it

i'll diet in january

Sven, vivca, Nina-Aliyah, austinroberts, guido, pasquale85 and bold like this

tabasco?

you mean my eye drops?

guido likes this

i'm too old for this shit...

vivca, annalena_kle, chillout, camimoune and guido like this

reposted by guggigirl

the concept of santa is great because you can give your kids crappy gifts and they can only blame the fat old man

kj55, Lirpae.., Nina-Aliyah, NukeSkywalker, saminays, piepa, chillout, MooseOnDaLoose and guido like this

i'm not crazy

my mother had me tested

lexigarcia, Nina-Aliyah, vale8 and leni like this

to this day, the boy that used to bully me at school still takes my lunch money. On the plus side, he makes great subway sandwiches.

lexigarcia, Nina-Aliyah and MooseOnDaLoose like this

schindler's lift

vivca, crystalD, liza, samir, piepa, beesmoove, pasquale85, boni and vale8 like this

Don't judge me by my past.
I don't live there anymore.

Reposted from steffi

Nina-Aliyah, lailaperaro, chillout, noahveit, SuggestedWriters, boni and miss_kimbrly like this

santa saw your facebook pictures.
you're getting clothes and a dictionary for christmas.

Reposted from vale8

karinasasek, lexigarcia, nadjeshda, lory-unicorn, camimoune, againandagain and leni like this

daily routine:
get up, be amazing, go back to bed.

Reposted from anonymous

kristinak, nadjeshda, lailaperaro, camimoune, kathrinkeller, chillout, austinroberts, vivca and annalena_kle like this

follow?

you mean leading from behind!

hemko, siri, hawtshyet, sarcaSM, bold and annalena_kle like this

BE YOURSELF!

unless you can be batman, then always be batman!

izzi, coutopaulo, MayorPayne, littlethings, Nina-Aliyah, againandagain, sarcaSM, fuechsin, jessiika and annalena_kle like this

i think the apocalypse used apple maps

Raeca, bettie_sailor, vivca, vivca, miss_kimbrly, charlsten, piepa, sloppytuesday, Bask77, pasquale85 and 5 others like this

When a pregnancy test confirms your worst fear: You're just fat.

Reposted from leslucas

bold and beesmoove like this

ALCOHOL

because no good story started with someone eating a salad

elunico, _Nathalie_, Nina-Aliyah, GaylrdSprFckr, chillout, miss_kimbrly and vivca like this

reposted by chillout

the best nights are usually unplanned, random and spontaneous!

true story

soene, chillout, lailaperaro and jessiika like this

apocalypse?!

ain't nobody got time for that!

21.12.12

mjf, againandagain, Nina-Aliyah, austinroberts and vivca like this

dear america,

we are all dead!

Love Australia

btw hell has wifi
21.12.12

MeMyselfAnd..I, kj55, Faitytale, Mabaya, avant-garde, lonka89, wallifer, philseven, RunnerChic, alice_98 and 27 others like this

reposted by Nina-Aliyah and darkunicorn24

peope are talking about the apocalypse like there is no tomorrow

21.12.12

lailaperaro, vivca and annalena_kle like this

nobody cleans a house faster than a man expecting to get laid

liza, lexigarcia and fuechsin like this

bought a new boomerang - can't throw away my old one

liza, noel_W, saminays, jano, Roel, leni, hebdifescht and stephinity like this

hey world, wake me up before you go go

21.12.12

vivca, Aehkyae, NukeSkywalker and hebdifescht like this

"OMG, i'm so ugly"

yes, that's why you have 197 photos in an album called me

Reposted from anonymous

chillout, austinroberts, saminays and lexigarcia like this

forgetting to take your phone into the bathroom to poop is like forgetting to take a gun to war.

TRUE STORY

lexigarcia and vivca like this

if your house is hit by a dolphin, do not go out to see if the dolphin is okay. That's how the hurricane tricks you into coming outside.

ansch, eazyela, lailaperaro, vivca and hebdifescht like this

what if there are no time travellers because the world really ends on 21.12.12

lexigarcia likes this

the name "dyson ball cleaner"

could be kind of misleading

hebdifescht likes this

nothing to say in a oral exam...

just smile
and wave!

lexigarcia likes this

don't break records -

SET THEM

kolelo, hebdifescht, bold and pasquale85 like this

if you wanna change the world, start with the man in the mirror

hebdifescht and bold like this

calm down...

if the mayans were good at predicting the future, there would still be mayans..
21.12.12

Aehkyae, stephinity, subtil, bold and nadjeshda like this

i wake up everyday planning to be productive and then the voice in my head says "haha good one!" and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.

Bigi, karinasasek, eazyela, Nina-Aliyah and chillout like this

new year's resolution: date more
models

revised: date more
revised: get a date
revised one last time: stop crying while masturbating

mjf, Nina-Aliyah, kathrinkeller, bold, pasquale85, chillout and piepa like this

reposted by svenZ

in the toy story movies, are the sex toys alive, too?

hemko, Millisan, dgi77, lexigarcia, ansch and vivca like this

IMPOSSIBLE

is

NOTHING

a lot of people cry when they chop onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond

karinasasek, LingLewandowski, lexigarcia, miss_kimbrly, nadjeshda, noel_W and piepa like this

dumme gedanken hat jeder, aber der weise verschweigt sie!

riles, Sven, Bask77, hebdifescht, pasquale85, noel_W and ZoJ like this

on 21.12.12 all the power companies should shut off the power for 10 minutes just to make people flip out!

Gabbem, lexigarcia, Nina-Aliyah, vivca, bold, hebdifescht and miss_kimbrly like this

reposted by miss_kimbrly and Nina-Aliyah

girls are attracted to assholes - because in elementary school they were told "if he is mean to you, that means he likes you

just_me4life, ATEBYTE, WinterFlickan, lailaperaro, lexigarcia, fuechsin, vivca, jano and hebdifescht like this

this pizza is so fresh it makes will smith jealous

are you ready to be bold?

fuechsin and vivca like this

due date!

21.12.12

nadjeshda likes this

Die Dummheit kennt keine Grenzen, aber verdammt viele Leute.

Reposted from leslucas

liza, ZoJ and Roel like this

Ich zum Taxifahrer: "Egal wohin, ich werde überall gebraucht!"

Reposted from leslucas

piepa, vivca, nadjeshda and saminays like this

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT:
when someone takes your sarcasm seriously.

Reposted from vivca

vivca, nadjeshda and leni like this

just smile and wave, boys... smile and wave

vivca likes this

stur lächeln und winken Männer... lächeln und winken

Junomea, vivca, fraenzi., ZoJ and boni like this

don't stop believing!

belieber and vivca like this

liebe ist wie ein gummiband... beide ziehen daran, wenn einer loslässt, tut es demjenigen weh, der daran festgehalten hat...

riles, ansch, pasquale85, vivca, fraenzi., saminays and A.M. like this

Beam me up, Scotty,
there's no intelligent life on this planet.

Reposted from anonymous

vivca, nadjeshda and hebdifescht like this

When you put on that jersey, the name on the front is more important then the name on the back.

Reposted from NukeSkywalker

vivca and nadjeshda like this

3 people having sex = threesome, 2 = twosome. so why is handsome a compliment?*

Reposted from anonymous

nadinekhalifa, leni and piepa like this

just another day at the office...

littlethings likes this

Ich wär lieber reich als sexy, aber ... was soll man machen?!

Reposted from anonymous

pasquale85, GaylrdSprFckr and saminays like this

every plane there's gotta be a crying baby and a mother ignoring it! TRUE STORY

eazyela, sarcaSM and leni like this

!!!ATTENTION!!!

the NASA confirmed that 21.12.12, late afternoon, the sky will
be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night."

nadjeshda, Nina-Aliyah, bold, Melco and leni like this

stell dir vor! es ist weltuntergang und keiner geht hin

21.12.12

nadjeshda, bold, GaylrdSprFckr, damnitjanet, leni and A.M. like this

der 12.12.12 um 12:12 Uhr wäre das coolere Datum für einen Weltuntergang gewesen! Doofe Mayas...

21.12.12

damnitjanet, pasquale85 and ZoJ like this

wer wind säht, wird shitstorm ernten

eazyela and bold like this

21.12.12 will be the most annoying day in social media history

stephinity and damnitjanet like this

21.12.12: weltweit strom abstellen und schauen was passiert...

INVITATION

21.12.12 aftershow party

date: 22.12.2012
where: everywhere

musissy and A.M. like this

stop saying 12/12/12 only happens once in a lifetime. every date only happens once in a lifetime. that's how it works.

MeMyselfAnd..I, Babs_77, swatchUSA and bold like this

reposted by swatchUSA

embrace yourself

12/12/12 is over BUT 21/12/12 is coming...

always wear nice underwear you never know when you might get lucky or need a doctor

chillout, nadinekhalifa, leni and saminays like this

december 21st will be the most annoying day in social media history

ly_liu likes this

knowledge is power

12.12.12 12:12 Uhr

das musste einfach mal
gesagt sein ;)

piepa likes this

my imaginary friend thinks i have mental problems

chocolat, annieh97, bold and piepa like this

reposted by chocolat

leave me alone i know what i'm doing'

Sicherheit der Verhütungsmittel:

Kondom: 95%
Pille: 99%
Crocs: 100%

avant-garde, _Nathalie_, karinasasek, ZoJ and piepa like this

Das Denken ist zwar allen Leuten erlaubt, vielen bleibt es aber erspart.

fraenzi. likes this

let's get high

grades on our finals

Campo, Vandtastic and nadjeshda like this

SARCASAM: the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.

hemko, maja_98, nadjeshda and NukeSkywalker like this

You look like I need another drink.

Reposted from bold

bad decisions make good stories

Reposted from Boldomatic

_leonie1312 likes this

i'm not saying you're a slut, but if your vagina had a password, it would be "1234".

Reposted from swisscub

rebiiriiot likes this

when live gives you lemons, squeeze them in people's eyes

ly_liu likes this

fuck the harder way we doin' it the smarter way

little_hippie and hemko like this

Dear Algebra,
stop asking us to find your "X".
She's not coming back.

Reposted from MooseOnDaLoose

these are my principles if you don't like them...

i have others

Lirpae.., NukeSkywalker and nadinekhalifa like this

egal wie dicht du bist, goethe war dichter

ernstrose, chiuiii and ludiluddha like this

i love your crocs

-nobody

avant-garde and _leonie1312 like this

sein eigenes bild zu liken ist wie nach dem mastubieren auf die eigene schulter zu klopfen

hemko, pasquale85, ZoJ, miss_kimbrly and svenZ like this

reposted by kolelo

der inder in der inderin macht kinder in der inderin

NukeSkywalker likes this

have a nice day...

but somewhere else!

sweswiss, NukeSkywalker and bold like this

as my uncle jack used to say: not every man with a knife is a cook

chillout, Roel, kolelo and NukeSkywalker like this

reposted by kolelo and johannes

don't bring a knife to a gun fight!

first of all i would like to thank myself...

cause without myself, i wouldn't be me

knock knock knockin' on PENNY's door!

liza and ly_liu like this

PENNY! knock knock PENNY! knock knock PENNY! knock knock

nadjeshda likes this

grassy ass

(spanish for thanks, right?)

Sven and pasquale85 like this

nooob nooob hier kommt der wayne train nach mount whateverest...!

liza, Nina-Aliyah and NukeSkywalker like this

war of religion is grown people arguing who has the better imaginary friend

hebdifescht likes this

don't hate the player hate the game

bare your teeth! with a smile :)

hemko and Sven like this

merry kissmyass

pasquale85, ZoJ and sarcaSM like this

alcohol is a solution

bold likes this