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i choose my underware for the day based on how likely i am to have sex. today i'm wearing a used grocery bag i found floating across the highway .
May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears.
You cannot suffer the past or the future because they do not exist. What you are suffering is your memory and your imagination.
i can't dance to save my life but when i step in dog shit, i can moon walk better than Micheal Jackson
HUMANS ARE THE ONLY CREATURES WHO CUT DOWN A TREE, AND TURN INTO PAPER, AND WRITE "SAVE THE TREE'S" ON IT.
Maybe we need a change of heart before climate change can change?
I AM NOT FRAGILE LIKE A FLOWER; I'M FRAGILE LIKE A BOMB!
"Fear is stupid. So are regrets." Marilyn Monroe
"Fame is like caviar, you know it's good to have caviar but not when you have it at every meal." Marilyn Monroe
I turned 67 and I need to return to Factory Settings
I'm good at what I do
earth first
KLIMASCHUTZ WEIL BAUM.
Jewelry! Because great Sex doesn't last forever.
may your blessings out number the shamrocks that grow, and may troubles avoid you wherever you go .
Take a second to think about how blessed you are.
Terrorism has no religion
Together is my favorite word.
LET'S GET LUCKED UP ;-)))
Happy St Patricks Day
Beauty is when you are so connected with yourself that it radiates inside and out.
i don't want you to lose me..
I would go to the gym; but I don't like mirrors or people
One question about climate change: What if it's all a hoax and we create a better world for nothing?
My whim is just achin' to be set loose.
NO HUSBAND HAS EVER BEEN SHOT WHILE DOING THE DISHES!
When you become an adult, no one asks what your favorite Pokemon is. . . . . . . . They dont even fucking care
We cause Mother Nature's climacteric period. ...but we are wondering why she's moody and struggles with heat waves!
timothy watches the samurai hones his blade the grasshopper learns
To err is human. To blame someone else for your mistakes is even more human.
When we Manage to Love without Expectations Calculations or Negotations we are indeed in Heaven!
He who laughs last is probably your boss.
I have an easy laugh; the slut of laughter, to be honest....
In order for the world to be a better place it Has to start with you
May your world be a better place because you're in it
Some days I want to just walk away and follow the wind. Tumbleweed it for awhile.
Be as lovely as you would like to be
"A carnivorous cyclist is worse than a vegan with a Porsche."
Some Call It Multi-Tasking, I Call It "Doing Something Else While I Try To Remember What I Was Doing In The First Place!!"
If you're stuck for a conversation starter, start talking about global warming. It's a real icebreaker.
mit einem trottel über andere trottel herziehen. das käme mir fürwahr zupass.
pack noch ein Unüblich ein.
carpe climax
HORSE RAISE TAIL... POLITICIAN OPEN MOUTH... SAME THING HAPPEN !
When i was 8 years old we talked about climate and nature at school. Our teacher told us what we could do: Don't let your waste in the nature! ...and yes we had an urban playground, which we rare used, cause our real playground was the nature itself! We played in the woods, the meadows, the fields and at the stream! ...and since that schoolday i never let my waste in the nature!
we must genuinely ask ourselves if religion serves to exacerbate or tamp down the forces of tribalism in the face of terrorism?
IF YOU SEE ME TALKING TO MYSELF... I'M HAVING A STAFF MEETING !
home sweet home beam me up
It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today or naked tomorrow
You look like something I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying, "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT
LISTEN TO SILENCE
If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.
If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal Listening to them - common Arguing with them - acceptable Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food they say the ones you love hurt you the most
THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
others have sex in the kitchen, I eat in bed
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
justice is a beautiful concept. unicorns too.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
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