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My book smells better than your tablet
Home is where the dog hair sticks to everything but the dog.


            I see you 

          and you are
 
            beautiful
I DON'T ALWAYS FART IN BURGER KING, BUT WHEN I DO IT'S A WHOPPER !

as I smell you words become colors




One day you'll find someone who is obsessed with you. 

It's probably going to be a dog. But it is what it is.

You can be whoever you want to be - just don't demand it from everyone else!
Eliminate the need 
                                to be liked.



Replace it with the intention to be of service, whether to others, something you believe in, or 
                  your highest self.

It's not your job to agree with everything people say
THE SUN IS SHINING!
GET THOSE BARBECUES STINKING,
YOU MINDLESS ZOMBIES.
orgasms are like cooking. 
i could do it myself, 
but prefer someone else doing it.

          Yes, let the cute, tiny girls fart
         their unicorns and butterflies...












   ...as smart-ass i fart whole galaxys!!!
CHILDHOOD IS MEASURED OUT BY SOUNDS AND SMELLS AND SIGHTS, 
BEFORE THE DARK HOUR OF REASON GROWS.
and i still 
find myself
missing memories,
we never
got a chance
to make.





Can't keep your head stuck up your ass and hope to smell roses



most often the grass is greener on the other side because it has been fertilized with bullshit, but if you are careful the smell gives it away
What a year this week has been..
best friends are basically therapists who get paid in margaritas.
NEWSFLASH

people are allowed to disagree with you



We live in a machine that is designed to get us to neglect what is important in our life.
I yelled ”COW!!!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger. 

Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.


 ...salty sea...
Some people smell like happiness...
Pheromones would argue: is it love at first sight or first smell?




Extremism is so easy. 
You've got your position, and that's it. It doesn't take much thought . 
And when you go far enough to the right you meet the same idiots coming around from the left.




Don't give up
I believe in
All of you!
CHILDHOOD IS MEASURED OUT BY SOUNDS AND SMELLS AND SIGHTS, 
BEFORE THE DARK HOUR OF REASON GROWS.



My little dog- a heartbeat at my
feet





Love with me



Imagine if I exercised and ate right

I'm not going to...but just imagine



Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver.
A broken heart makes you wiser -


-And Alcohol makes you not  remember any of that crap



The last thing I want to do hurt you, but it's still on the list
Let the truth do the work. 

Ge the light into the belly of the beast, into the darkest corner in there, and then let it shine.


Ole Dammegard

every disaster starts small



Things turn out best for people who make the best out of the way things turn out





Life is a series of dogs
What's that word for generally pissed off but not pissed off with anything in particular?
An oldy but goody:





Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.
"So, what do you do?"
- I'm a supervillain.
"Whats your name?"
- Autocorrector

"Hahahaha! Are you Sirius?  What's your super powder?  Wait a minion... what the help is happy ninja to me? PLEATS MAKE IT DUCKING STOP!!!!"

thanks to you all for the candy storm that hit me since I landed here



Tact is for people who aren't  witty enough to 
be sarcastic




computers ask us to prove we are not robots ~ does no one else smell the fire?










All my passwords are protected by amnesia
Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things,






it just means you have to accept what happened 
             and continue living.
If people did not 
                       do silly things,







nothing intelligent 
        would ever get done.



I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells.

Fantasy is a neccessary  ingredient in living.
The questions we are asked, aren't necessarily the ones we are answering.



I used to drink-


But that was hours ago

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.
i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.