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Kinda feeling like the Universe just sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done
When this is all over, please continue to stay at least 6 feet away from me.
some parents are just finding out: the teacher wasn't the problem
I hope the weather is good tomorrow for my trip to Peurto Backyarda. I'm getting tired of Los Livingroom.
IF YOU DO NOT MAKE TIME FOR YOUR WELLNESS, YOU WILL BE FORCED TO MAKE TIME FOR YOUR ILLNESS.
Has anyone tried tossing a virgin redhead into a volcano yet?
Your grandparents were called to war. You're being called to sit on your couch. You can do this.
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store. . . They lied. Everybody else had clothes on.
MOM WHY DON'T WE HAVE ANY FOOD? SHUT UP AND EAT YOUR TOILET PAPER :-(
Home invasions should probably decline. Everyone is home with guns and enough bleach and paper towels to clean up the scene.
YOU ARE THE DANCING QUEEN, YOUNG AND SWEET, NOW IN QUARANTINE ! YOU CAN DANCE, YOU CAN JIVE, BUT YOU CAN'T GO OUTSIDE ! SEE THAT GIRL, WATCH THAT SCENE, BUT ONLY THROUGH A PLASTIC SCREEN :-(
I need to practice social distancing from the refrigerator...
Do you want to freak out your neighbors? Name your WIFI, "FBI Surveillance Van"
[coronavirus pandemic diary] Day 3: I've not had sex in 6 months.
All you have to do is watch television and tolerate your family. Let's not fuck this up, folks!
"People are dying who have never died before"
They need more than your thanks. • They need better pay. • Better working conditions. • Better protection.
Man darf die Mehrheit nicht mit der Wahrheit verwechseln
BACK IN MY DAY THERE WAS LITERALY SO MUCH TOILET PAPER THAT PEOPLE WOULD STRING IT ON THE TREES OF OUR ENIMIES
Perfect excuse to not put on pants.
Soon there will be no one left to tell us what life was like without technology, when children played outside with friends, when people fell in love at music festivals, the feeling of real unwatched, uninterrupted freedom.
This is the longest something made in China has ever lasted.
Don't stand, don't stand, Don't stand so close to me
This is the beginning of a global change
They said a mask and gloves were enough to go to the grocery store. . . They lied. Everybody else had clothes on.
See you when the world gets better.
I opened the window to let the night come in and embrace me...
A home can be a world where dreams all come to die.
They need more than your thanks. • They need better pay. • Better working conditions. • Better protection.
Do you want to freak out your neighbors? Name your WIFI, "FBI Surveillance Van"
Condolences to those quarantined with loud people..
Home invasions should probably decline. Everyone is home with guns and enough bleach and paper towels to clean up the scene.
Kinda feeling like the Universe just sent us all to our rooms to think about what we've done
150 centi meter - nie im leben, kleiner peter
ein leben auf abstand
and then there were flying sharks
abstand macht einsam
no toiletpaper till brooklyn
With all of the corrupt data, the planet is trying to reformat C:\humans *.*
What will people complain about now they can't complain about Mondays? Or the traffic? Or their jobs?
Darf man jetzt eigentlich noch in die Hände spucken um das Bruttosozialprodukt zu steigern?
Toilet paper hoarders, Food hoarders, Crowds on the beach, Crowds in the park, Lines at the gun stores... Did i forget anybody?
Thank you, but please stop sending me information and videos and memes and constantly texting if I'm okay, because you need someone to ask you if you are okay now that you're not at work and have free time. P.s. I am not a panic hotline. I will be spending my energy on my family. Kind regards, Me x
Now, you can totally tell people, “You make me sick!” and be completely literal about it.
I'm judging you all the time, but I'm wise enough to not tell you.
How long before we can start eating people?
If you think I'm building bridges because you think the world is ending, think again
Update yourself with the news. Switch it off. Enjoy the rest of your day.
It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today or naked tomorrow
You look like something I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying, "I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
My internet was down for 5 minutes so I went downstairs and spoke to my family. They seem like nice people.
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people, because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.
If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal Listening to them - common Arguing with them - acceptable Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food they say the ones you love hurt you the most
THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.
Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.
justice is a beautiful concept. unicorns too.
If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. But I would rather be alone with you.
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