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It all makes sense now. Gay marriage and marijuana being legalized on the same day.

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned"

We've just been interpreting wrong all these years.


I just dumped a pack of M&M's into my mask and I am slowly eating them like a horse.


The difference between humans and animals. 
Animals would never allow the dumbest of the herd to lead them.
SOMETIMES I FEEL SO SICK AT THE STATE OF THE WORLD I CAN'T EVEN FINISH MY SECOND APPLE PIE
TAKE RISKS IF YOU WIN,
 YOU WILL BE HAPPY,

IF YOU LOSE, YOU WILL BE WISE.
I don't want to sound like a badass, but I eject my usb without removing it safely
if you cut woman's wings off, she will have no choice, but learn how to fly on a broom.
IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR WHEN YOU HOP IN YOUR CAR AND JUST START SCREAMING FUCK 
UNTIL YOU'RE WARM AGAIN
We all have this colleague who, we hope, quits his job, so everyone in the office is happy. 

If you don't know any such person, quit your job.
I MUST HAVE AN AMAZING BUTT, EVERYTIME I WALK AWAY FROM SOMEONE, 

I HEAR THEM WHISPER, 
"WHAT AN ASS"
IF YOU CAN MAKE A WOMAN LAUGH YOU'RE ALMOST THERE...
IF YOU'RE ALMOST THERE AND THEN SHE LAUGHS,
THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY!?
HAVE FAITH IN THE PFIZER VACCINE, 
DON'T FORGET THEY MAKE  VIAGRA,
IF THEY CAN RAISE THE DEAD...THEY CAN RAISE THE LIVING.
I'm pretty sure I only need one more bad decision, and I'll own the whole set.
Until we can leave 
this world (and all its creatures and our environment and our community, and family, our children, every single soul we encounter) - happier and more at peace, we are all of us; incomplete.

Simplified urine test

Go out and pee in the garden;
If ants gather- diabetes
If you pee on your feet-prostate
If it smells like barbeque- Cholesterol 
If you return to your room with your penis outside your pantspants-Alzheimers
A KID IN THE PARK INFORMED ME SMOKING WAS BAD FOR YOU,
SO I POPPED HIS BALLOON WITH MY CIGARETTE AND TOLD HIM SO WAS TALKING TO STRANGERS!

 •*¨`*¸.•*´¨`*•.
*.¸¸.•*¨`.•´¸.•*,¸.
 *Tu* Me•.•*´;.`,*•.
  'manques.•´,¸.•*¸.
   `You~are'+_`•*¨`*   
       * Miss-_%>•*¨`*   
           `ing',`-*_.¸¸.•*¨`
               'in`*.¸¸.•*¨`¸.•*
                    'm_:`+'
                      `e'•*
                         •*
                          *.¸¸.•*¨`*,
                                    ¸.•´ 
                             ¸.•* 
                              *•._•*´¨`*•.,_
                                                       '*.¸¸.•*¨`'*.¸¸.•*¨`
I used to be sweet and innocent, then shit happened
Be.

Be so badass as to permit yourself to ask yourself the tough questions, to make mistakes, to have regrets, to apologize, to love and let yourself be loved (as hard as you hate yourself) and then be kind enough to free yourself of chasing people who do not see you. Then, be brave enough to let yourself feel every fear, every broken hope and dream and yet to still believe in yourself. To still be the you that feels good to yourself and have the power to embrace the risks of falling apart and resurrecting yourself from your own ashes - just because you are so badass, as to be you and love you.



Is it possible for me to behave.

But why would I want to?


                            •*•
         
        Know the difference
 - between a real badass - 
       and a total and utter       
            fucking wanker. 

                            ~•~



a rising tide raises all boats
    Never underestimate









 the power of a hissie fit.

if beggars became choosers, we might all be loosers

A little incompletion

is such a perfection

without which there

is only degeneration.





almost is most cruelly incomplete!



Not rich enough: to 
offer such sacrifice 
as to give up what I 
never owned; I have
never been so rich!!
Why is the alphabet 
of a pirate incomplete ?








Because they lost an I.

Th** pos* 
*s inc*m*l***

is
incomplete 
in 
incomplete
in
completely
in
complete?



a rising tide raises all boats




Maybe half a heart loves twice as hard?





 I don't need
 what you need.
I need to stop saying “I completely forgot you existed“ when I run into people.









 I have questions that 
 will never be answered.
The way I feel right now and probably for a 
long time.
Why is a mouse when it spins?

Because the higher, the faster.
What would you rather did or walk? But if you did and then what? Would you then when and in between me? Would you back at where as you were?
I WANT TO KI.. YOU


 Keeping busy
 really helps me
 take my mind
 off my sadness.
No matter how big a hammer you use, you can't pound common sense into stupid people.
tu me manques
Human evolution.
There's no such thing as complete when it comes to stories. Stories are infinite. They are as infinite as worlds.

Kelly Barnhill
What colour is a yellow submarine, true or false?
here we fucking go again. 
i mean 
good morning.
Two elephants are walking, one to the left, the other is blue
science says that sex reduces stress. 
so let's fuck.

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.
laundry today 
or 
naked tomorrow
You look like something 
I draw with my left hand.
There is a big difference between a guy and a girl saying,

"I went through an entire box of tissues during that movie."
Whenever I delete an app on my phone, 
the shaking icons make me feel like they're all panicked over who's getting axed •
My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"
I HOPE YOUR DAY IS AS NICE AS YOUR BUTT

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.





     LISTEN TO SILENCE
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything
I love waving at random people,  because you know for the rest of the day they're trying to figure out who the hell you were.

If your religion is worth killing for, please start with yourself
Voices in your head - normal

Listening to them - common

Arguing with them - acceptable

Losing the argument - BIG PROBLEM
i just burnt my tongue on some food 

they say the ones you love hurt you the most


THIS "NORMAL" YOU SPEAK OF DOESN'T SOUND FUN AT ALL.

Adam and Eve were the first people to agree to the Apple terms and conditions without reading them.
Sun goes down earlier for short people.


If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.
justice is
a beautiful concept.
unicorns too.
Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.
I wanted to write down exactly what I felt but somehow the paper stayed empty 


and I could not have described it any better
10% of conflicts are due to differences in opinion. 

90% are due to wrong tone of voice.
I like to be alone. 
But I would rather be alone with you.
i've
fallen
in love
with you,

but you
don't exist.