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Every dead body on Mt. Everest was once a highly motivated person.

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I see you

and you are

beautiful

11

I DON'T ALWAYS FART IN BURGER KING, BUT WHEN I DO IT'S A WHOPPER !

9

One day you'll find someone who is obsessed with you.

It's probably going to be a dog. But it is what it is.

13

Happiness is just sadness that hasn't happened yet

12

Dear Window Shopper,

We are closed.

9

I yelled ”COW!!!” at a woman on a bike and she gave me the finger.

Then she plowed her bike straight into the cow.

8

Discipline is helping a child solve a problem. Punishment is making a child suffer for having a problem

5

Yes, let the cute, tiny girls fart
their unicorns and butterflies...

...as smart-ass i fart whole galaxys!!!

7

CHILDHOOD IS MEASURED OUT BY SOUNDS AND SMELLS AND SIGHTS,
BEFORE THE DARK HOUR OF REASON GROWS.

11

What a year this week has been..

8

best friends are basically therapists who get paid in margaritas.

10

_____ _____
++++++ ++++++
It's crappy to force
a fart, or love. To force
either one, or the
o t h e r, l e a d s
t o s h i t.
= = =

9

Mhm...this smell of a weekend!

9

Sarkasmus.

Der Retter in der kognitiven Einbahnstraße.

6

I THOUGHT ABOUT WISHING YOU A HAPPY MONDAY! ...
BUT THATS LIKE SAYING
"ENJOY YOUR ROOT CANAL!"

7

Family isn't always blood.

It's the people in your life who want you in theirs. The ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what.

10

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