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your self-isolation is not as cool as my self isolation
101 ways to not make bread



But 
quarantine 
looks good 
on you...


People keep asking me..

"Is COVID-19 REALLY that Serious?"

My reply.. 

The Casinos and Churches are CLOSED.

When Heaven and Hell AGREE on the same thing, it's pretty SERIOUS!


                                               On line wisdom
Hi, I'm fluent in awkward.

bonus für pflegekräfte?

großartig!
dann sind ja alle probleme an personalmangel und vergütung für diese unverzichtbare und wichtige arbeit, die schon vor der corona krise unhaltbar waren, auf lange sicht gelöst..
..ich könnte kotzen
.
now all of a sudden having a mask, rubber gloves, duct tape, a gallon of bleach and plastic sheeting in the trunk of my car is okay...
SINCE SOAP KILLS THIS VIRUS, HAVE WE TRIED EATING TIDE PODS AGAIN ?
If the coronavirus teaches human beings one thing about how they should live their lives, I'd be stunned.
sucks when you need a rest from all the nothing you are doing and you are too tired from doing it to fall asleep






          Mirror, mirror on the wall!

 Who has the fairest mask of all?!
Hard times create strong men

            Strong men create 
                             good times

Good times create 
weak men

                   And, weak men 
              create hard times
Don't break the rules, stay home and fuck or migrate to Sweden.
The End Is Near
The important lesson is to realise what we can't do without. The more important lesson is knowing what we can do without...
sometimes people you love are compatible with someone else.




Sunday 
feels 
neglected...
I ate 8 times, 
took 5 naps,
walked the dog 4 times

and it's still today.
DUE TO CORONA VIRUS I WILL NOT SHAKE HANDS OR HUG....YOU MAY KNEEL OR BOW TO ME.... EITHER WOULD BE FINE ;-))
Then:

“You can't understand someone until you've walked a mile in their shoes.” 

Now:

“You can't understand the warriors of the #CoronavirusPandemic until you've worn a mask for an hour in the heat.” 

~ Society stories.



while you hoarders are hoarding toilet paper, some of us are hoarding the fucks we have to give
Corona virus:



The king of 
      all viruses.

Fed my cow the wrong grass

Now the steaks are high
now we officially have three days of the week ...

1.Yesterday
2. Today
3. Tomorrow...
THIS VIRUS IS CHANGING EVERYONES BEHAVIOUR... 
I USED TO COUGH TO HIDE MY FART... NOW I'M FARTING TO HIDE MY COUGH??




So it's settled: COVID-19 Quarantine Calories don't count.
please spare a moment for all those poor pickpockets who are out of a job



and laugh till you can laugh no more




The test of time, saves lives.
I am a jack of all tirades. I can get mad and rant about practically anything.
I've blocked you. Fuck off.
Ein bisschen Club-Feeling hat man ja schon, wenn man bei Rewe an der Eingangsschlange steht und der Security-Typ einem zunickt, dass man jetzt rein darf.
                    Together










   A          p           a           r          t