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a free refill with fresh water is like a summer breeze.


skating on thin ice is a whole different sport
                       


                       Let's sit 
                       in dark 
                       moody 
                       cafés, 
                       and be 
                       miserable 
                       together
Dirtiest joke ever:







A white horse
                 fell in the mud.





It shouldn't be this hard
I like being places. I just don't enjoy getting to them.

By  chance if you had taken that chance, the chances are, you would have been better off now

..
Mir wurde heute mein Taschenrechner gestohlen.

Eigentlich hätte ich damit rechnen müssen...
If it does not feel like butterflies,
It is not love,
It is like.
Where do cows go
            for entertainment?








                 To the mooovies.







they will tell you madness is insanity

As if any GPS could guide a heart home!
looks like my alter ego and me exchanged dimensions
the town idiot is in charge ~






it is like the matrix has a glitz
IF WE COULD JUST GO AHEAD AND START CALLING THE CHINESE CORONAVIRUS  THE KUNG FLU..
THAT WOULD BE GREAT !!


the planet keeps pressing the life alert button but everyone is deaf
our eyes
see different,
but thats ok


liking what's inside someone's pants is different from loving what is inside their heart
Habe den gesamten Zucker aus dem Küchenschrank weggeworfen, um abzunehmen.

Am nächsten Morgen stand der von alleine wieder drin.

Ganz schön raffiniert, der Zucker...




   Surviving Auschwitz
 it is like surviving hell!
It is like nothing youve seen before.
Stop worrying about being special and make someone else feel special.
Whats a vampire's
                              favorite fruit?









                           Neck-tarines !!





I admire my own patience.
Home is where you trust









                       the toilet seat.
Why can't a chicken
                                 cross a road








without everyone
          wanting to know why?


“Stay strong....”


~Me, to my coffee






Is playing devil's advocate with yourself ever a sporting game?

people have forgotten where riding an ass leads
Wellness is a state of balance between yin and yang. 

It's like you not getting nervous about my hefty erection, while I steal your M&M's.



When is the Super Bowl? I need to know when I should avoid everything.