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I spent so long in your dungeon I forgot how beautiful life was without you.

8

Pawsome!!

6

You're as quiet as I am.

5

Lehrerin: Kannst Du mir das ins Französische übersetzen?

Ich: So einen Satz würde ich in Frankreich nicht benutzen.

Lehrerin: Dann sag uns einen Satz, den Du in Frankreich benutzen würdest.

Ich: Do you speak English?

7

Be brave today.

7

Knowing your kids love you, that's just awesome.

9

Ich bin nicht faul, ich bin nur noch nicht bereit.

3

I PEE GLÏTTÊR,
SHIT CÜPCÄKÊS,
AND FÄRT RÄÍÑBÕWŠ

3

Viele Menschen würden sich erschrecken, wenn sie statt ihrem Gesicht plötzlich ihren Charakter im Spiegel sehen müssten.

7

On the mend.

3

I'd walk through fire
for my best friend.

Well, not fire,
that'd be dangerous,
but a super humid room.

But not too humid, because,
you know, my hair.

6

The feeling of soft sand between your toes...

that.

11

OK.

It would be, if people got this.

4

YOU CAN'T
SPELL AWESOME
WITHOUT
ME!

4

HOÑËŸ

{ YOU }
{ SHOULD }
{ SEE ME }
{ IN A }
{ CRÖWÑ }

4

some
awe

3

You can
always tell when someone has had
good parents.

Ofrkjr

3

MEPHOBIA:

fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can't handle it and everybody dies

6

In 1979, Sweden became first country in that world to make hitting your children (in any way) illegal.
Because children are also citizens with rights, including the right to not be hit by someone three times their size.

5

When
he
shows
disappointment
that
we
can't
be
together.

5

I gave away the beat parts of myself to the ones that kept them when they left.

3

THIS
AIN'T
MY
FIRST
RÖDËÔ

5

I had to become a minister in order to learn how to sin with impunity.

In hindsight, I should have become a politician instead.

3

“What the hell is water?”

The British are going to miss Europe. Not for what the continent is, but for what it is not.

5

When you know you're the one he desires.

4

Resist !

and smile.

5

Good morning texts.

4

awesome courage...

3

kinky
kids

4

SAY NO TO DRUGS!

And yes to
a bacon wrapped,
cheese stuffed
meatloaf!

4

When life gives you chocolate, eat it!

10

Weird is a side effect of being awesome

7

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