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a free refill with fresh water is like a summer breeze.

5

skating on thin ice is a whole different sport

6

Let's sit
in dark
moody
cafés,
and be
miserable
together

5

Dirtiest joke ever:

A white horse
fell in the mud.

3

It shouldn't be this hard

3

I like being places. I just don't enjoy getting to them.

3

By chance if you had taken that chance, the chances are, you would have been better off now

..

2

Mir wurde heute mein Taschenrechner gestohlen.

Eigentlich hätte ich damit rechnen müssen...

4

If it does not feel like butterflies,
It is not love,
It is like.

2

Where do cows go
for entertainment?

To the mooovies.

2

they will tell you madness is insanity

2

As if any GPS could guide a heart home!

6

looks like my alter ego and me exchanged dimensions

2

the town idiot is in charge ~

4

it is like the matrix has a glitz

2

IF WE COULD JUST GO AHEAD AND START CALLING THE CHINESE CORONAVIRUS THE KUNG FLU..
THAT WOULD BE GREAT !!

8

the planet keeps pressing the life alert button but everyone is deaf

4

our eyes
see different,
but thats ok

2

liking what's inside someone's pants is different from loving what is inside their heart

6

Habe den gesamten Zucker aus dem Küchenschrank weggeworfen, um abzunehmen.

Am nächsten Morgen stand der von alleine wieder drin.

Ganz schön raffiniert, der Zucker...

2

Surviving Auschwitz
it is like surviving hell!

4

It is like nothing youve seen before.

3

Stop worrying about being special and make someone else feel special.

3

Whats a vampire's
favorite fruit?

Neck-tarines !!

3

I admire my own patience.

5

Home is where you trust

the toilet seat.

5

Why can't a chicken
cross a road

without everyone
wanting to know why?

3

“Stay strong....”

~Me, to my coffee

3

Is playing devil's advocate with yourself ever a sporting game?

3

people have forgotten where riding an ass leads

3

Wellness is a state of balance between yin and yang.

It's like you not getting nervous about my hefty erection, while I steal your M&M's.

4

When is the Super Bowl? I need to know when I should avoid everything.

4

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