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signec95

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signec95

My body is very attracted to your body but when you speak, my brain gets angry

8

What's 5 inches long, has a head on it, it's in a mans pants and women love to blow it?

- money $

8

My bed and i have a special relationship; we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.

6

"Are you free tomorrow?"

No... I am f**king expensive.

4

Girls who claim that a lot of guys are after them should keep in mind that low prices always attract many customers.

3

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas?

I don't know. He couldn't open it.

3

An Ex is called an Ex
because they're an
EX-ample of who not to date next time.

3

I get awkward when someone compliments me and i don't know what to say.
Them: You look pretty today.
Me: Happy Birthday.

3

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