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sharris604

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sharris604

last night i had fruit salad for dinner.... ok, they were mostly grapes... fine, all grapes.
fermented grapes... ALRIGHT... i had wine for dinner!!

3

That awkward moment when you cant sleep so you keep tossing and turning like a mentally challenged walrus

2

GUY RULES... #1

Never...EVER make eye contact while eating a banana!!!

2

just has to tell the local starbucks barista that she pencilled in her eyebrows too high....she looked shocked

1

so the cop says, "You drinkin?"
I said, "You buyin??" and we laughed and laughed.
i need bail money

1

Was late for my first fight club last night, so i missed the rules and intro... but still, fight club was awesome, i love fight club, and i highly recommend fight club!!

1

my girlfriend left a note on the fridge..."Its not working... i cant take it... im at my moms"

i opened the door, the light came on, the beer was cold... i have no clue what shes talking about!!

1

Folgers got it wrong.... the best part of waking up... is going back to bed after you pee!!!

1

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