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Allow me to introduce my selves.

3

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you
haven't fallen asleep yet.

1

Sarcasm is just one more service we offer

1

Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, 'What the fuck happened?'

1

Support bacteria. It's the only culture most people have.

1

Remember, half the people you know are below average.

1

Life isn't like a box of chocolates. It's more like a jar of jalapenos. What you do today, might burn your butt tomorrow.

1

Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?

1

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