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mea648

It's good that you're scared, it means you still have something to lose

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mea648

Somebody loves you, pobably, maybe not, never mind everybody hates you

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If I ever get married, I'm gonna refer to my spouse as my "first husband," even in front of him, so he's clear on where we stand.

2

On the other hand, you have four more fingers & a thumb.

2

You know what rhymes with Thursday?

Vodka.

1

*at church

"I came for the blood."

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Sometimes, you just have to play the role of fool to fool the fool who thinks they are fooling you.

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I don't have an inner child.
I have an inner old person who wants to stab people.

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That moment when you tell the person that you and your friends hate and you tell them to stop fucking following you and they answer with: In school everybody gets to play! OMFG WE'RE IN FUCKING 8:TH GRADE!!! NOT FUCKING KINDERGARTEN!!

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