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keriaashlie

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keriaashlie

Brace yourself ladies... it's officially boob sweat season...

1

Whenever I check my weight, I always subtract 5 pounds. Brains and boobs this fabulous shouldn't count against me!

1

I wish I could push the fast forward button to the part where I'm a rich bitch.

1

Twinkle twinkle little whore, close your legs they're not a door. You're gonna catch an STD, you're only wanted cause you're free. Twinkle twinkle little whore you're cheaper than the Dollar Store!

1

Guy: "Life is a bitch, so is my girlfriend."

Girlfriend: "Life is short, just like his dick."

1

Oh you're the ex?

Nice to meet you, I'm the upgrade.

0

I'd call you a douchebag, but the would imply that you could actually get near a vagina...

0

Just chuck it in the FUCK-IT bucket and move on!

0

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