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jaybyrd

maximum panic in 3...2...1

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jaybyrd

i have this bumper sticker that says "honk if you think i'm sexy" and then i wait at green lights until i feel better about myself.

121

you remind me of a software update, whenever i see you i think
"not now!"

85

just saw a guy at starbucks.
no iphone, no tablet, no laptop.

he just sat there drinking coffee.

fucking psychopath.

86

starting a sarcastic group aggressively supporting other sarcastics, repost if you want in because if we get enough people we're getting jackets.

74

well fuck, there went my new year's resolution!

58

i have an entire forest living inside me, and you have carved your intials into every tree.

50

if you're alone, i'll be your shadow.

if you want to cry, i'll be your shoulder.

if you're not happy, i'll be your smile.

if you need a friend, i'll always be there.

53

it's not my fault that my phone is more interesting than you.

75

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