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Home_Halfway

Terrible but beautiful

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Home_Halfway

When my doctor first told me I had to go on a journey to deliver charged atoms, I had a lot of quest ions.

4

GOD: I fucked up
ANGEL: What happened?
G: I gave a planet to humans
A: But they hate each other!
G: I know
A: You fucked up
G: I fucked up

2

Michelle Obama continues to be the most incredible first-lady in decades, and a tremendous & inspiring person overall. I miss her in the WH.

1

"Take it with a pinch of salt," my dad always used to say.

Lovely man.

Made horrible tea.

1

All barcode tattoos ring up as ranch dressing. Every single one of them.

1

Trump isn't so concerned about Puerto Rico because he prefers other people don't have power.

1

[Watches people sing & dance for two hours without making any mistakes]
DATE: Do they always do this
ME: Yep. I hate going to see my parents

1

I feel like other countries are watching the United States right now the way we watch Jerry Springer

1

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