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freeyomind

Movie stars walk on red carpet because they are famous. I walk on toilet paper because I'm the shit!

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freeyomind

I love making people who don't like me hate me more by just being me.

119

Faster than the speed of light is when you can take a bottle of beer out of the fridge before the light comes on.

20

Don't have phone sex, you might get hearing aids.

51

I will not apologise for who I am!

26

Today I got my happy pills snd my pissed off pills mixed up, so I took one of each. Now I'm pissed off, but I'm happy about it.

33

Men wear the pants, but ladies control the zipper.

24

Sex on television cant hurt you unless you fall off.

24

We are all in the same game, just different levels. Dealing with the same hell, just different devils.

17

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