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FreeBird

Those who snore always fall asleep first.

23

Vaginas are like the weather; if it's wet, it's time to go inside.

14

i know the voices in my head aren't real... but sometimes their ideas are absolutely awesome!

13

It's simple, if it jiggles, it's fat.

9

A joke is a very serious thing!

9

In God we trust; all others must pay cash.

7

i stepped on a Cornflake, and now I am a cereal killer.

6

That awkward moment when you're in a meeting and your stomach decides to sound like a dying whale.

6

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