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fart

If you listen real closely, you can hear my alarm clock laughing as I set it.

83

Be the gift someone is waiting for.

57

I don't HAVE to be on top of your inbox...

Missionary will do.

36

The year is 2048. The grilled cheese emoji has
been elected president for a 2nd term.

50

Yeah, I tried to order a burrito at the ATM. So what?

30

Question everything.

28

e-cigarettes are too much like sucking a robots dick

23

My parents live in France.
I chose to live in the moment.

17

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