Search for #hashtags, @writers or keywords

ConanOBrien

The voice of the people. Sorry, people.

twitter.com/ConanOBrien

Follow following

Subscribe subscribed

Bold Points 16314

Bold Since 1452011879000

ConanOBrien

I’m starting to think I’m white enough to play Michael Jackson.

27

My plan to defeat ISIS? Get them to eat at Chipotle.

25

There’s nothing like your wife not winning the Powerball and watching her unpack her suitcase.

29

I respect Apple's stance against the FBI, both for protecting our right to privacy, and for not telling them my phone's pass code is 7394.

41

Every time I see a newborn, I'm reminded of how rare and beautiful it is to look into the face of someone who's never heard of Trump.

30

I always bring my baseball glove to the ballpark, just in case a falcon wants to land on my hand.

23

I’m down to 1%, but that should be just enough to finish this twe

21

A computer scientist calculated that buying one of everything on Amazon would cost $12.86 Billion #wastedhislife

16

show more

About Help Brands Affiliate Developer Press Contact Copyright Privacy Terms