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arosen

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arosen

Every year you pass your birthday and know that you were born that day, but every year you pass your death day and have no clue.

7

running into a coworker on your day off is just wrong!

7

"You shall not covet your neighbor's wife."

It doesn't say anything about my neighbor's hot husband though.

6

if baffles me why some people can not find the beauty in simple acts of generosity

5

My bed and i have a special relationship; we're perfect for each other. But my alarm clock just hates seeing us together.

5

Just got a pizza, I said cut it in 6 pieces, I can't eat 8.

5

you gotta act cool, calm and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear

5

You know something bad is about to happen when someone says

"Hold my beer and watch this."

4

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