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AlisonSteve

Female Comedienne & Girl Writer

twitter.com/JustAboutGlad

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AlisonSteve

I shaved my pubes for this 4th of July pool party which is honestly the most patriotic thing i've ever done

22

Just realized I want my wedding vows and my gravestone to say the same thing: EAT ME

15

Whenever I see an old couple holding hands I like to think they just met two months ago on eHarmony

13

The most effective way to get a guy to stop texting you is to have sex with him.

10

Ladies: When a dude doesn't like that you own a cat, he's just mad you already have a narcissistic sociopath in your life. Or he's allergic.

15

Question for anyone experiencing any sort of joy right now: what the fuck is wrong with you?

10

WHO IS MAMA GONNA DRUNK TEXT TONIGHT?

10

Thinkin about how much more productive I'd be if I didn't know how meaningless life is

11

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