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Posts Liked by whiteboyswag

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'

26

Let's go camping.

In a hotel.
With a pool. And a spa.

427

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

326

On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese.
I lost my poor meatball, when somebody sneezed.
It rolled off the table, and onto the floor.
And then my poor meatball, rolled out the door...

178

A lot of people cry when they cut onions, the trick is not to form an emotional bond.

396

I like to be alone.
But I would rather be alone with you.

523

The trouble with jogging is, by the time you realize you're not fit for it, it's too far to walk back •

409

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