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Posts Liked by twausk

To Quote Hamlet
Act III, Scene III
Line 87,

"NO"

241

Saw a Cougar wearing a Leopard coat, driving a Jaguar.

It's a jungle out there.

52

if i had a flower for everytime i thought about you...

i'd walk through my own garden forever.

14

my nephew has so much to learn, i asked him to bring me a screwdriver and instead brought me some kind of tool.

9

i sometimes feel offended by american stereotypes, but then i remember the nationwide panic when they stopped making twinkees

10

I'm opening a gym called "Resolutions". It will have exercise equipment in it for the first two weeks, then it turns into a bar for the rest of the year.

33

"LSD can make you lose weight."

Makes sense. It's kind of hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it.

65

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons...

67

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