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Posts Liked by Tomalo

Sarcasm and orgasm. Two things most people don't get. Those who do are smiling right now.

197

He said the spark between us was gone, so I tasered him and I'll ask him again when he wakes up. ..

157

People keep asking me "how's it going" like I have any idea what's going on at any point.

184

Boldomatic 2.0 is now available for iOS and Android!

64

My boss doesn't like the nickname I gave him. It's awful to see Princess Dickhead crying.

201

My mind needs a cigarette. She's just been stimulated.

99

if these walls could talk, they'd say 'pick me up' & put me on 'em...

75

Whoever created the five day work week was probably friends with the asshole that invented pants.

141

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