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Posts Liked by timleflyingcat

My ex is so ugly she developed a great personality.

8

Anybody have any plans to stare at their phones somewhere exciting this weekend?

4

If you think the things I say out loud are bad, you should hear the things I keep to myself.

572

some are playing hard to get while i'm playing hard to want

285

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone?... That's common sense leaving your body.

395

If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.

734

My doctor asked if anyone in my family was suffering from mental illness. I said; "no, we all seem to enjoy it"

812

You remind me of my big toe, cause i'm going to bang you on every piece of furniture I own

470

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