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Posts Liked by ThisIsCookie

They say "Do one thing a day that scares you", so today I'll rape a coyote.

30

! M E R D E !

shit always sounds better in french

71

I'm impressed by your ability to make reckless decisions even when you're sober.

34

isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?

37

Headphones

(n.) A socially acceptable "I'm ignoring you" device.

59

I WOULD LOSE WEIGHT

BUT I HATE LOSING

173

I said, "I love you" as I sat by him sipping my wine.
That's when he asked me, "is that you or the wine talking?"
I replied, "Oh, sorry. That was me talking to the wine."

160

your so ugly that hello kitty said goodbye to you

100

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