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I like it when my shoes are so worn in that they're like moccasins, and for my jeans to have turned into a second pair of skin.

9

Oh, honey, you're just offended because what they said applied to you.

10

That moment when you give someone advice, they don't listen to you, then you sit back and watch everything you predicted happen.

25

Women always worry about the things that men forget, men always worry about the things women remember.

9

MAKE
HAY
NOT
WAR

74

Can't get out of bed.

Send help....,
or waffles.

Just send waffles.

247

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