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Posts Liked by soren85

I burn like 2000 calories by putting on the bed sheets on by myself

29

does running away from my problems count as jogging?

278

laundry today
or
naked tomorrow

1298

and I drink to myself...

what a wonderful world

189

Never depend on someone else to make you happy, that's what alcohol is for.

222

What if the cure for cancer is trapped inside the mind of someone who can't afford an education?

144

please,

keep sending me drunk text messages. they are really funny and amusing. and i totally understand what they mean. and i definitely need 17 texts in a row to figure it out.

sincerely,
sober

57

Greater than my modesty is only my penis.

60

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