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Posts Liked by shafscorpio

You're so fake,
even China denied they made you.

98

lazy is a very strong word.
i like to call it selective participation.

279

I like people the way I like my tea.

I hate tea.

236

"What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.”

- Super Mario

3

The
difference between pizza and your opinion is that I asked for pizza •

147

Everyone's curious

But no one really cares.

178

It's not illegal. It's just frowned upon. Like masturbating on an airplane.

1546

Life is too short to remove USB safely.

108

I just read an article on my ipad about the evils and dangers of drinking.
I think I'll stop--reading.

68

Confucious say: he who stand on toilet seat is high on pot.

34

i have bad news for anyone who's shaken my hand.

32

Gonna put a selfie on top of the Christmas tree because I am the star •

102

As I gaze out of my window as I have so many times before, sipping my morning coffee, I feel so at peace knowing that I got the last of the creamer.

29

That awkward moment when you wake up and still wear your Mexican wrestling mask.

18

assumption is the mother of every fuck up

68

a tongue has no bones but it is strong enough to break a heart. be careful with your words

20

Don't judge yourself by your past.
You don't live there anymore

48

90% of my socks are single, and you don't see them crying about it

105

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

70

It's better to be late, than to arrive ugly.

190

Quiet people have the loudest minds.

355

The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why

20

Don't break anybodys heart, the only have one.

Break their bones, they have 206.

24

I'm not saying you're a slut, but if your vagina had a password it would be '1234'.

28

I love when you mean something in a dirty way and the other person has no clue.

22

Me every morning: I should have gone to bed earlier

19

That three second lap dance you get when someone passes you to sit in your row at the movies.

50

Patience is not about how long you can wait, but how well you behave while you are waiting.

59

Haaaaaaaaaappy Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthday toooooo youuuu!
Haaaaaaaaaappy
Biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiirthday tooo youuu! dear mr. Boldomatic!

8

I've done bad things for good reasons...

And I will, again.

108

Being famous on Instagram is like being rich on Monopoly.

121

I need more drinks and less light.

52

if you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.

125

Men use love to get sex. Women use sex to get love. Me? I use coupons to get pizza...

112

before you SPEAK, LISTEN. before you ACT, THINK. before you QUIT, TRY. before you SHIT, look for PAPER.

122

Success is like pregnancy. Everybody congratulates you but nobody knows how many times you got fucked to achieve it.

170

Never argue with that idiot in the mirror, rather buy him a drink and move on.

25

"Sir, can you step out of the car please"

"I'm too drunk, you get in"

20

Growing old is
mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

140

You can't laugh at yourself?

Don't worry.
I can do it for you.

63

Greater than my modesty is only my penis.

60

Smiling doesn't always mean you're happy. Sometimes, it simply means that you're a strong person.

67

I love asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because I'm still looking for ideas.

87

Push me up against a wall and do what you like.

74

Sex is a sensation
caused by a temptation.
A guy sticks his location, in a girls destination.
To increase population of the next generation.
Do you get my explanation or do you need a demonstration?

121

Everybody should stop making fun of Justin Bieber.
That poor girl...

61

Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons...

67

I'm sorry, what language are you speaking?

It sounds like bullshit.

73

those who criticize our generation forget who raised it!

14

Sometimes, I sneak up on my alarm clock in the middle of the night and yell "HOW DOES IT FEEL BITCH"

109

Even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road.

11

Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change

10

T H IN
H K
E BOX

outside

65

Werner Karl Heisenberg (5 December 1901 – 1 February 1976) was a German theoretical physicist who was awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics in 1932 "for the creation of quantum mechanics".

he is the one and only not the cheater color creaper...

13

without coffee
-.-

with coffee
•.•

67

Unofficial Bold Contest
====================

Subject: Bashing Heissenberg!

15

If you can't convince them, confuse them.

75

Sex? No thanks, my life fucks me every day

117

I hate it when my phone decides to randomly jump out of my hand and attack the floor •

67

I don't know if I did right or wrong but I always did my best.

80

Without money, we'd all be rich.

90

Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

111

I love listening to lies when I know the truth...

226

We'll always be friends, you know too much.

132

IF YOU ARE LUCKY ENOUGH TO BE DIFFERENT, DON'T EVER CHANGE.

110

When you throw dirt, you lose ground.

117

All my life I thought air was free..
until I bought a bag of chips •

120

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

111

Some dream of success

Others stay awake to achieve it

41

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

20

Give this men a ride, sweet family will die. Killer on the Road. Riders on the storm. Lets ride...

The Doors

6

optimists claim that we are living in the best of all possible worlds.

pessimists are scared that might be true.

493

I'm two fries short of a happy meal

219

Was dich nicht umboldet, macht dich Bold.

12

Hallo ich bin der Moralapostel und ich geh gleich wieder... denn diese Welt ist eh verloren!

5

i was born

in the wrong generation

1

WAR IS PEACE
FREEDOM IS SLAVERY
IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH

105

Everything is made in China. Except babies. They are made in vaChina.

265

I'm to old for this shit!

11

if i'd lived my life by what others were thinkin', the heart inside me would'have died.

6

Everyone gets a chance
you had yours.

3

Everyone gets a chance
you had yours.

3

I hate the part of the morning where I have to get out of bed and participate in real life •

200

PROVE
YOU
EXIST

197

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